More money vs flexibility

[afrikat]

I earn c. £80k. My husband earns c. £50k. We are very comfortable. We both have fairly flexible jobs, him much more than me. He WFH 100%, does 80% drop offs and pick ups (kids 8 and 10), we need minimal wrap around care. He does 75% of cooking and washing, all food shopping etc.

I have a chronic health condition which requires alot of rest although for the last year I've been doing much better and taken on more household stuff (it's not kind of thing you ever 100% recover from though and I could relapse at any time)

He's got an interview next week for a job at a new company. Big jump in responsibilities and expectations. As far as we can tell it's 100% office based (short commute). £75k, so £30k uplift.

The extra money would be great. We'd be able to do the house renovations we desperately need and could put more away for the future.

BUT we are likely to lose most of the flexibility he has. I'd likely have to take on more house and kid stuff (could just about cope at the moment. I'd really struggle if I relapse). We'd need to use wrap around care as I work 8-4.

He's really bored and unchallenged where he is and I don't want him to feel like that when there is a potential opportunity here but it just feels like the wrong time. In 3 years once the kids are at secondary we will have much more flexibility. But he's been so supportive of my career and of helping me survive my illness I want to support him too

We've talked it through and both have the exact same concerns and have agreed to wait to see if he gets offered it then make a decision

Interested in others thoughts though, what would you do?

In your position that amount of money wouldn't be worth it unless it buys you the help that you'd need to replace what your dh does now, would it? Because if not, then it's not worth it at all. I always think "go for it and if you get an offer then you've got a decision to make" is a good strategy so he should do that.

The best of all worlds is that he's offered it and they change their minds on the flexibility and allow WFH more of the time, that would be a job worth having.

I think given it's a decent jump up in salary that sounds like would be very useful, that it's a short commute, your kids aren't very young and your DH wants a new challenge I think he should go for it. And in classic MN style use some of that money to make life easier where you can. I think the main motivator for me is the challenge, I'm in a boring job currently and it's quite crushing.

Depending on what kind of help we’re talking about here, I think I’d encourage him to go for it if he gets offered and wants the role.

For an extra 25k you could pay for breakfast & after school club and have a cleaner come in to help keep on top of the house stuff.

Could you use his additional salary to cut back on your hours? Maybe go to 80%?

Why not reduce your hours a bit?

Thanks all. To answer some of the questions/suggestions

We already have a cleaner 3 hours a week and basically do zero cleaning in between other than basic kitchen wipe down

I could look at lowering my hours but unsure the most useful way of doing this. losing an hour or 90 minutes a day would probably be more beneficial than having one full day off a week? I could potentially then work 8-3, 5 days a week which would be 6.5 hour days, 32.5 hour weeks. Currently contracted to 35 hours so that actually wouldn't be too much of a loss

Regarding asking about flexibility - this will definitely be the first step if he gets offered the job. Potentially a 9-5 pattern (so he can drop the kids off at least) with Tuesdays and Thursdays WFH would make it all more manageable.