Renting as a single parent

[Ann1991]

My husband and I are discussing separation, it is looking very likely so I need to make a plan even if moving isn't going to be for 6 months to a year.

We own our house but only started paying for it 3 years ago so the equity isn't going to be great once it's split between us.

Looking at private rent and I don't know how people do it on their own. I'll only be going back to work 3 days a week (currently on maternity leave) and rent even for a 1 bed flat is coming in around 60% of what my wage will be.

Is this normal? Will private landlord take the funds from the house sale into consideration if I signed say a 6 month lease?

You may need to go back full time, I’m afraid.

What size properties are you looking at, and in what area? If you can live in a cheaper neighbourhood then that is probably what you’ll need to do.

Have you calculated what child maintenance and any benefits you’d be entitled to? If you’re eligible for universal credit then there’s a rental housing element so that will help your affordability.

But you probably do need to re-evaluate if you can afford to be part time as a single parent.

Will private landlord take the funds from the house sale into consideration if I signed say a 6 month lease?

Not clear what you mean, will the house be sold so you both look for rentals? Will you stbx pay cms?

It's a double edge sword, if I go back full time I'll be paying out the majority of it in nursery fees even when the 30 hours come into effect in September. I've looked at universal credit and I think the funds from selling the house will be too high so I won't qualify but it's not enough for a new deposit. We haven't discussed custody split yet so unsure about child maintenance, it's all new conversations at the moment.

There's no point taking your equity out of the house and handing it over to a private landlord because you can't afford to buy. Take your share of the equity in pension instead.

Rent a house and get the maximum amount of housing benefit/universal credit allowed.

Deposit for rental or purchase? UC is limited for 6k+ in savings but that would give you enough of a deposit/month's rent for a rental , surely?

If you have 50:50 custody then you only need to cover childcare on your days. Or get a full time job over the days you are child free.

Oh I didn't know you could do that. So once the house sells I can put the funds straight into my pension pot?

I was surprised st how much universal credit I could claim if I had little to no savings

Not enough for a deposit on a new purchase. More than enough for a deposit on a rental but i dont think a landlord would accept ongoing bills being supplemented by savings.

I presume the poster meant to negotiate a larger share of your ex-H’s pension in the settlement rather than house equity, but that ultimately depends on whether he has anything much in way of a pension.

Yes thats exactly what you can do.

Friend of mine had £70k equity - not enough for her to buy so spent the whole lot on rent. This was before I knew her. Another woman in our friendship group got divorced recently and took her share in pension as she also wouldn't have had enough to buy. Your pension doesn't get taken into account you see for anything thats means tested. It also has tax advantages.

Oh I see, that wouldn't be worth it then.

Thank you for clarifying.

Indeed. If he doesn't have, she can't have it either. But I kinda thought that was obvious.

As others have suggested it would be a case of seeing what you are entitled to via UC/housing benefit, but ultimately you are going to have to work full time. 3 days a week is great when you have a partner to support you but just isn’t doable if you are the only person keeping the bills paid for your house.

Once the 30 free hours kick in childcare really shouldn’t be a fortune and definitely wouldn’t be anywhere near the majority of a full time wage especially when you factor in tax free childcare as well.

Have you looked into shared ownership? You buy a portion of the property and then pay rent on the rest, universal credit won't contribute towards the mortgage but will cover the rent element.

Just to clarify - you can't take money from the sale of a house or the negotiation of a divorce settlement and put it into a pension fund, expecting universal credit to pick up the tab. That's called deprivation of capital and your UC amount will be calculated as if you still had it. In any case there are limits to the amount of money annually you can pay into a pension pot.

After you've sold your house you get a year on UC before they take the proceeds into account / it affects your UC. This will buy you some time.

Sometimes you can agree to pay 6 (or even more) months rent up front, think I've done this in the past due to a lack of a guarantor. Not sure if that would impact UC etc but might be worth looking into.

I privately rented when I separated from my ex-husband over a decade ago. I was working pt when I left him but had to push up my hours in order to cover the bills.
Remarried now but still privately renting, just somewhere bigger.
We're 44 and 48 and both working but still very much doubt we will ever be in a position to be able to afford to buy. It's crap but it's a roof 😞

I started looking into this yesterday actually!! Didnt know UC would help on this sort of property, thank you. Looks like a good option for both of us, stbxh needs a stable home for when he has our son too. I may even be able to stay part-time whilst my son is little and go full time once he's in a school.

Thank you, when you put it like that it does sound a bit fraud like. Won't be doing that

Sorry to hear about your situation @Ann1991, it sounds really upsetting especially as you're still on maternity leave.

I wouldn't rush into anything for now.

Also if you do currently own your own home with your husband, you should really be staying in that home, and he should ideally be contributing to help you afford it.

Then in theory he gets some money back at the end when you sell.

I wouldn't be agreeing to move out and sell 50/50 by any means. You're the mother of a young baby and you need some protection.

I've been in the exact same situation and it is impossible to make the numbers work with paying for housing and childcare. I too posted on Mumsnet hoping for a solution I wasn't aware of. In the end I had to rely on family members for the next 10yrs plus. That's why I'm saying with the benefit of hindsight to try to stay in the marriage (unless it's domestic abuse) or at the very least stay in the house you own.

But you are doing the right thing in exploring all the options. Good luck 🤞

@yourmoneyoryourlife no rushing into anything for now just getting ideas of what may be feasible.

We're both going to be staying in our house until it sells but in separate bedrooms. No changes to how bills are being paid. Ideally we need it to sell by November next year as our very low fixed mortgage rate ends at that point. Realistically we would have been fine with the mortgage increasing as a couple but on my own and him paying for his own housing, there wouldn't be enough left of his wage to cover the increase. Unfortunately our city is ridiculously expensive to live in.

He's made it very clear that our son's and my housing is the priority and he will not "allow" us to live in a dingy flat. Regardless of how his feelings have changed about our relationship, he is a very kind and thoughtful man. I'm devastated about our marriage ending but I can't be angry that he's being honest, he's been unhappy for a couple of years now and didn't say anything because he didn't want to hurt me.

You will get some UC towards the rent, but depends how much equity you’ll get from the house, as you’d be expected to use that first if you’re over max amount of savings allowed

This is really good advice. Pension is completely disregarded for UC purposes and then you'd be fully eligible for help with rent and childcare costs depending on what savings you have. (Not eligible if more than £16k, tapered between £6k-£16k