Making a Will

[HildegardeofBingen]

It's time to make a will. I've been putting it off, because it's slightly unclear what's the fairest way to go forward.

My husband will probably die first. There's a ten year age gap. If this happens he leaves everything to me. A house, some reasonably significant savings and also some valuable items that he has collected and which would need to be sold by an auctioneer.

I have bought rather less to the communal pot as I've done relatively low income work, which was combined with looking after my daughter, stepchildren, father-in-law, husband. But I do have savings - less than my husband's and am likely to inherit some more under the terms of a parents will.

We have one daughter together. I also have two stepchildren from my husband's first marriage. I have known them a long time and the relationship is a close one.

If I died without making a will, our joint daughter would get the lot.

I think what my husband would ideally like is if, in the event that I inherit his estate after he dies, that in the terms of my will I say it is to be left to all three children equally

I don't feel able to do that. My stepchildren will ultimately inherit stuff from their mother - though she has not managed well. But obviously his ex-wife isn't going to leave anything to a daughter her ex had after remarrying.

What I feel more comfortable with - in terms of balancing my various duties etc - is to leave half to my daughter and for the remaining half to be split between my two stepchildren. Does that make sense?

It's not an argument between us. He's basically pleased that I'm making a will as it's the sensible thing to do. But I thought I'd post this to see if other people think this is as fair as anything ever is.

Is there anyway to split everything that’s left of what you inherit of your DHs assets between the 3 children and your personal assets go to your daughter alone (or say 50% of your assets to your daughter and then the remaining 50% of your assets to your step children)?

I’m not sure how easy this would be keeping track of everything you inherit from your husband though.

Mine is half to my child and the other half split 3 ways between my child and my 2 DSC, representing my DH’s 3 DC, i.e. 2/3 to DC and 1/6 each to DSC. The DSC will also inherit from their mother so the total amount inherited by each child should be vaguely similar, although of course we or DSC’s DM may end up leaving nothing and spending it all on care.

I think at the outset I would be thinking what I would like to happen if I died first - I appreciate that there is a age gap - my Mum & Dad had similar and my Dad just thought he would due first - as it is my Mum died early 60s and my DDac is alive in his 90s

Could you leave say jewellery and something g specific to daughter eg premium bond stash or an ISa account and then the rest goes to your DH if you die first and if not the residue after specific bequests to daughter gets split 3 ways between your 3 children

Meant to add of course take legal advice as they are the experts /can highlight something you hadn't considered etc

Please get proper legal advice from a STEP solicitor https://www.step.org/directory/members

As a pp said work on the basis that you could die first.

One option is to own the property as Tenants in Common and leave your % to your DD with your DH having a life time interest. You can give DH the flexibility to sell e.g. to downsize or go into a home whilst protecting it for your DD. Your DH could do the same and leave his % to his 3 DC.

As others have said, please get proper advice from a suitably qualified solicitor.

If you own the house jointly rather than as tenants in the common then the house will pass to you entirely regardless of what any will says.

Are you saying that you would not want his daughters from his first marriage to have an equal share of the family home? So your daughter gets 50% of the family home but his other two daughters only share 25% each?

I can see your point about them also inheriting from their mother. One way to deal with it would be instead of him leaving everything to you, he leaves it on a ‘life interest’ to you. You can live in the property and have income from the investments. It can be flexible so cash can be advanced to you if needed. Property must be owned as tenants in common not joint tenants. You still have your own assets. Doing this ring fences his part to be split between his 3 children. On your death (assuming this is second) you can leave your sole name assets wholly to your daughter or part to step children if you think that’s fairer. The children would then inherit from the trust also. Additional advantage would be asset protection (eg from care home fees, future divorce, bankruptcy) and certainty for him that his children would inherit part (there would be nothing stopping you leaving nothing to the step children either on purpose or by accident - ie future remarriage would revoke any existing will).

Your will could be on similar terms but after the life interest to husband all to your daughter if you die first (step kids inherit from their dad). If you die second all to your daughter (step kids inherit from trust in dads will).

you don’t mention if he has a current will or you are expecting to inherit under the intestacy provisions? Initial inheritance to spouse on intestacy is £322k and possessions then half the rest, children other half. He should also have a will, particularly as you imply a higher value.

as others mentioned see a STEP qualified solicitor specialising in wills. Inheritance with second families is not straightforward.

This is similar to what my parents have done. So there's me and DB and one sibling (my half sibling). Ultimately when both parents die, mums half will be split two ways and dads half three ways.

So me and DB will get more because we inherit half of mums side and a third of dads.
Half sibling just gets a third of dads.

The logic is half sibling inherited her mother's entire estate.

It's tricky to sort though and I expect some bad feeling. Of course, it will probably all go in care fees anyway so 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think what you propose sounds equitable. Thing is, if your DH goes first you could cut step children out of the will so I can understand he would like a promise that they’ll still get some of his estate?

I think your DH needs to revisit his will. If he wants his DC to inherit it should be directly from him.