I know everyones situation is different but I just thought we could share info that might help others or prompt a question to ask our own solicitors.
What I gleaned form my chat today in lay mans terms.
You can have a quick divorce if you can prove adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Other wise you have to wait 2 yrs for you both to agree no fault divorce.
Financially you need to have a short term plan and long term. The long term would be linked to your final settlement and divorce.
A straightforward divorce with court fees would be about 1k and if the financial arrangements were to be decided by court than you'd probably spend 10k. The more you can agree yourself the cheaper.
The court look to split assests 50 :50, and then look to compensate the wife depending on the length of marriage and what she has given up eg career and what she is going to be at a loss (eg I had private health care with exh company and payments on his death ). The courts have an obligation to make a clean break so they would take more cash form the husband at settlement rather than based on his future income if there are sufficient funds to do so. 2 kids would require he contributes 20% of his salary.
You can't force him to see the kids at any given amount of time eg kids have 14 weeks holiday I want him to have them 5 weeks. however he could force the court for access to have them for 5 weeks holiday a year.
I am about to put this to my ex on Thursday along with informing him I know about the OW. I'll see how calmly he takes it. Its been amicable so far as I have gone along with his wishes but its not in MY best interest.