I am living in very difficult conditions with my EH2b. We have a house mortgaged in my name that I lived in for number of years before he moved in. He was physically violent + is still very abusive. He pays bills and mortgage. Have 1 ds 8yo.
After years of physical violence + me depression, I started divorce proceedings against him, went on benefits and it went to mediation too. Physical violence stopped (still abusive) but mediation did not turn out in my favour - result is that I should find work and then either buy him out or sell property and we split equity. This was because he runs a business in our house (which I used to work for)+ mediator's view was that premises are vital to his livelyhood, therefore he should stay. He agreed to 75% equity to me. I feel I deserve more because of how he impacted on my life, but he won't settle for less; the violence prevented me from working all those years + I lost my mental health and was depressed and controlled. I owned the property for 13 years before he moved in + property is in my name, but I can agree to 75% - I just want him gone and to start my life.
Everyone thinks I should take injunction etc, but he has threatened that if I do that, he will fight me for 100% of the house and go thru the courts and make divorce costly, saying that I am an unfit mother and play every dirty trick. I have no family or support and I'm too tired, just too tired now. He has HUGE support and HUGE network - if I fight him and his network he will try to bring me down + I'm terrified of getting ill/depressed again. I can settle for 75%. I don't want to move out, my ds has had enough upheaval, we're convenient for ds school - I want a job and then to buy Ex out.
I'm am applying for loads of jobs and am finally feeling able and ready to go back to work. I don't want to lose that feeling.
Finally (this is the question): He has paid for mortgage, loans and bills during the marriage + has paid me household money + supported me + he has enjoyed me being in the beholden position + uses it against me all the time. But he is saying he is going to pay much less for bills/mortgage etc + that I must pay towards these with a share of my benefit money. Can he do this? What should I/he legally be paying for? Can he make me pay if I am on benefit money + he is on earned income? What is my legal standpoint on this. I am going to speak to my solicitor, but before I do, I want to know what you think.
I suspect many will say take out injunction etc - but I am so scared of my mental health going again - if I fight him it will take all my energy and I don't have much left.