debts in mums name - very worried

[rugmonster]

Hi,

A couple of years ago my mum helped me out of a hole. I was in bad debt and needed to do something. Mum could't help in terms of giving/lending me money, however she did allow me to transfer a large chunk of debt into her name in order to get a much better rate. There is a loan and 3 credit cards. The plan was that I would transfer the debt back into my name when I was back on my feet.

The current balance is £19k and I make all of the payments each month religiousy. Never missed one ever. Mum is happy and has assured me that she doesn't even think about it. She has no other debt aside from these debts. I have recently tried to obtain credit in my own name to transfer the money back into my name, however I can't get anything. This is so stressful and I am so worried about it.

The credit cards are now accruing interest. I am continuing to make the payments and thankfully this is not a struggle for me any longer. I have spoken to mum and she has told me to not worry about it. I feel wretched about it. I am conscious that despite me making the payments, it is her liability if something were to happen to me.

I feel like the worst person and have been struggling to sleep.

Any suggestions?

Did you previously have the credit cards on a 0% card in your mums name? If so, she could shop around and find a new deal to swap the balance to so you’re not paying interest, as long as you’re still making the payments do you think she’d be willing to do that?

We have tried that but the 0% deals seem to have dried up

If your mum isn’t worried then I don’t think you should be. Maybe get some cheap life assurance though so if you die, the debts are paid?

I think it's because she doesn't see it. I service the accounts and the statements are all online etc. I think that mum just sees it as my debt. She'll sometimes ask me how much it is, and that makes me feel awful as it's in her name!!

19k is doable OP. Put the head down to get it paid off (as I see you have been doing) and check around periodically for any 0% deals. I would put the majority of my energy into just getting it paid.

The unbearable heaviness of having this hanging over you will make it highly unlikely that you get into this position again, and that means the lesson is learned! Best of luck 🤍

Do you think i've let my mum down?

I think every time you add something else to a credit card you'd be letting your mum down. You aren't letting her down if you are genuinely paying it off. Are you paying it off slowly or do you pay the minimum each month?

Is it not fraudulent to do this. I mean what's to stop someone transferring all their debt into a dying relatives name knowing that the debt would die with them ? I guess in that case the person wouldn't be able to take the debt?

Not one bit - sorry if my post came across that way! I just meant that the debt is clearly weighing on you heavily - rather than let it eat you up, try and see that as a positive. You have obviously felt the burden of it, and won’t put yourself in that position again. You are able to pay the monthly repayments and you will get this cleared. Your mum did you a big favour but sounds like she knew she could trust you! These things happen and life takes us down hard paths sometimes, but you need to keep the bigger picture and the overarching lesson in mind.

Sounds stressful, bless you x

I'm not sure how fraudulent or not it is. I mean, the debt is still being paid back.

You Mum has been there for you when you needed her. I think you need to pay off chunks of the debt asap and not just pay minimum amounts every month. Whatever you do don't have anything else at all on credit. After 6 months try again for a 0 percent interest card.

0% deals are still available. Has your DM looked on the Moneysavingexpert eligibility calculator and actually made an application?

I’ve got 0% deals with Virgin and Lloyds at the moment, try Money Saving expert.

It’s a good idea to have two cards as you’re likely to be offered 0% deals as an existing customer and they you can move the balances around.

Did your mum fully understand what she was taking on when the debt was first moved? If so you haven’t let her down.

All I can say OP is that if I was your mum, I wouldn’t be worried, and I wouldn’t feel you had let me down. I’d feel happy that I had been able to help my lovely daughter, and immensely proud of you for getting yourself back on your feet, and striving so hard to pay off the debt. Give yourself a break x

@Cantabulous what a lovely post and I agree- give yourself a break OP. You are doing something about it , that's what matters

I think if you are genuinely working your hardest to pay it off then it's fine. In my opinion you shouldn't be spending on anything but essentials while you have this debt. And absolutely shouldn't be getting into any further debt.

How do you transfer debt to someone?
Do you mean she took out loans/cards and then paid off your debts?

You definitely need to get this debt onto a lower rate urgently. Your mum saying it's "no problem" is a problem. The accruing interest is a problem - most of your repayments will now be going into discharging interest rather than reducing the debt.

There are loads of cards that operate 0% transfer deals - look on moneysupermarket.

I agree with PP that you should take out say £20K of life insurance, to cover the debt should anything happen to you. SHop around for the cheapest and make sure that your mum is the beneficiary.

As long as you have stayed out of debt, and not built up any more, and are throwing everything that you can at it, which does mean cutting back and sacrifices etc, then you are not letting your mum down.

I did say that to somebody once, when their mum cleared their debts by taking out a loan in her own name, and then they built the debt up all over again, and I said, "don't let your mum down, she did this to help you and it is all for nothing if you build that debt up again".

Sounds like your mum has been kind to help you & you are keen to get it paid off/back into your name. You obviously care alot about your mum! Maybe as you pay it down, you can look into another balance transfer or back into your name.

Do you have a plan on paying it back? Are you paying more than the minimum payments on the credit cards & not just servicing the interest?

If there is no solid plan to pay off, maybe speak with a company who can advise such as step change to help with budgeting and a plan?

Instagram has lots of motivating people who are in the debt free journey. I've found it helpful to watch them for inspiration.

Do you track your spending & have a budget set? I found maximizing CC payments very empowering.

I sold as much stuff as I could & paid everything to debt. I would suggest this if you can have a clear out.

Do you pay the money direct to the credit cards or via her? I wonder if she cleared your debts which is why she isn't worried about the interest, then the payments is you just paying her the money back? Otherwise she's crazy chill over this and it doesn't make sense.

She’s your mum - she clearly loves you and wants to help. Just keep up with the repayments, not doing so would be letting her down.

Have you posted this before?

Very familiar.

Unless this is a common issue.

Just shows the troubles some people end up in, sometimes not through their own fault.