Gifts to family

[Lastgig]

I will be receiving a large bonus (think banker size) next year and want to buy my niece a house.
She's been abandoned by her partner and receives no financial support.I currently give her groceries and some money. Most of my siblings and my husbands siblings children have good jobs (lawyer, singer, two high achieving medics, teachers etc).
I do feel I should do it for all of them but that would not be possible as we are a large family.
My niece is a lovely person and only wants an ex council house as she lives on an estate where she has lots of friends.
I don't want to cause issues for my niece. She's in a low earning profession.
Any advice would be welcome.

You are a very generous aunt!

I would get some legal advice.

I would be inclined to buy the property in my name and let her live in it/ have some kind of rental agreement in place.

How would it work if she met someone else and they moved in with her, would they have a claim on the property?

You shouldn’t feel you need to do the same for all your nieces and nephews.

Do you have any children of your own?

@Zoraflora i think she would be OK if she owned it before any marriage. She can check with her cousin but that would start the family gossip.
She has two children and lives in substandard housing (damp, rodents).

Twenty five years ago I had a similar windfall and treated everyone. Tbh I wouldn't do that again as a few of them turned out to be unpleasant. I was for ever tapped up.

A lovely thing to do. I would do it and not give the others a second thought, but I would also do it discreetly. Have you discussed with your niece?

@safariled yes two. 21/25.

One on her second degree, the other with a big job in London.
My son is financially savvy and knows I'm proposing to do this. He will receive a property too.

then no i wouldn’t

every penny i have spare once i’ve sorted myself out for the future…. i save or invest for my children. Who knows what the future holds and for that reason…. i’d leave the niece to her financially comfortable parents

@MingingTiles yes discussed with niece but not my sis her mother as we are NC.
I know I will need to live 7 years.
I've been unwell and this is a company sale situation.

Do you have enough to give your other child a house too when the time is right?

your two children are both still relatively young and have a mother not in the best of health

i would be storing away everything spare for MY children

ah so you get to piss your sister off. i thought there may be more to this

If you were childless, I would say do it discreetly, if your own financial stability was guanteed.

As you have two young adult children of your own, unless you have done the same for each of them and your own stability is guaranteed. I would not feel the need to do it for any other family members.

I think this is a lovely gesture @Lastgig but would get advice.

i would be storing away everything spare for MY children

Why? I don’t need every penny of my parents money & know some will go to charity.

You sound a bit manipulative tbh.
I’d keep your bonus for your own children.

why?

because who knows what the future holds and if things go awry for my children in the future and money could help, whether it’s a miracle cure only available in the US or an abusive rel that a child needs to get away from and fast… then i can step in

failing all that…. a lovely big nest egg to take the heat out of life

@MingingTiles yes to the other DC having the same as the DS.

Both don't object to my niece having the house.
My children had part private education (both choose state at one point). Both graduates and both money savvy.

However they would object to some of the other cousins having my money as they are feckless and grabby. One is very aggressive (my brother, her father died young). I make allowances for her. My husband's sister is a cash millionaire, her children don't need us.
We have three who don't have property or potential to inherit.

buy it
house her for free
bit your children get it when you pass on

Sounds fine then.

@safariled i pissed my sister off by being born.
She beat me up daily. I had many broken bones.
My sister hates me but was always happy to take my money.

and NC with neice too?

but this would infuriate her like nothing else. WIN!

No my niece is my sisters girl. Sister tight as a ducks arse. No mortgage but will not help her daughter. Her next door neighbour rents out the house. She offered to the niece (her god daughter) on a peppercorn rent, my sister objected sighting privacy. Ffs it's your daughter with two small kids and no money. My sister is bitter, jealous and a Bitch. She gave my address to someone who wished me harm. They harmed my daughter hence the NC.

I would give everyone something but that's what my DC are objecting to as few helped me when I was ill. However a couple asked about my will!

You and your children sound lovely.
Buy the house for your niece and carry on living life x

I think it’s a lovely idea. I would however get legal advice on how best to do this to intense the house for your niece to protect it from future partners e.g. co-habitation agreement/pre-nup or deed of trust etc.

So long as your own DC are on board then I guess that’s all that matters. I have to say though I don’t quite get the act of rewarding someone for not doing as well as someone else eg MIL is leaving everything to BIL because he hasn’t ‘done as well as us’. That’s because he’s been rather lazy to be brutally honest. So hurtful to DH to be quite honest.

@Whatevershallidowithmylife we aren't rewarding her for being lazy. She's a carer and not as well qualified as the other cousins. She has sen. She is was not encouraged to read or study.
My sister refused private school places for her children. My sister works across a number of state schools. She has deep issues with what she sees as privaledge. She also lacks tolerance.
She refused her DD a neuro diversity test. She's just been diagnosed at 30+.it does explain a lot.
Our mother was bipolar so I guess my sister has some sort of buried trauma. It doesn't excuse her behaviour towards me or her daughter. Funny enough she is fine with her DS and grandsons.

My DC will get the same although my DD is not really money orientated which is lucky as she is a trainee medic!