Help me be more frugal

[MsNemo]

I'm looking for resources (books, sites, podcasts) and also seasoned advice on how to be frugal. I'm currently a SAHM. I'd like to be good at family finances, but I don't know where to start! I'm very ignorant on money matters but I'm eager to change that. I come from a very chaotic family of origin regarding money (not at all wealthy, but not very financially intelligent) and I haven't recieved any kind of good financial example.
Where should I start? Thank you in advance!

Thank you @PinkArt @Sleepeazie and @Nsky62 😊
Yes, the work issue is a good point, thank you @titchy and @annaspanner18 : I have a secure situation in my field of expertise in that I can come back when I want to, and there's no "penalty" for having been raising children, fortunately. That was a deciding factor when I chose to stay at home for the early years of my children. But yes, in our plans for the family, we contemplate me going back to (paid) work when/if necessary.
Regarding YNAB, @FusionChefGeoff, my DH was mentioning it to me a while ago as something inteteresting to consider! We'll definitely take a closer look at it, thank you!

’Under the Median’ podcast on YouTube with Hope and Larry

As others have said write down all your outgoings, absolutely everything from rent and council tax to the coffee you buy when out and about.

Next look at what you can cut, how does your husband get to work? Would public transport be cheaper than running a car?

Then look at what you can save on, use price comparison websites and see if you can get a cheaper energy supplier, phone contract, house insurance etc. SIM only contracts are much cheaper and if your phone does what it needs to then why get anew one?

Make a food / household budget and don't go over that unless it is something that is an actual bargain like someone already mentioned if loo roll is on special offer buy it then.

Now you have money that can do something for you. Again use a comparison site to find the right savings accounts for you.

So I have an account that pays more interest than a standard savings account but I can only make 3 withdrawals a year. So I have money in that account but I have other savings in an 'instant access' account.

While you are opening bank accounts your child/ren needs one too to start good habits.

I have a spreadsheet with everything that comes into and out of my bank account, I often have less than £20 in my current account and 'feed' it if I need to from a savings account.

Watch out for interest rates, sometimes the higher rates are only on 'regular saver' accounts that only allow a certain amount to be saved per month. If you were to put a hundred pounds in one and leave it you would get 8% interest on that amount, but if you are putting £100 a month in you only really get the 8% on the first deposit. If you were to put £1200 in a savings account with interest of 4% you would earn about the same amount of interest.

Some banks allow you to have 'pots' of different money so you could have a pot for a holiday, one for saving, one for a new car etc.

Either do that or used different bank accounts to achieve the same thing.

You might want to look at shares, not to put huge amounts in, that's for professionals. But some companies give 'shareholder perks'. So I have two nieces, I bout £50 of shares in Signet, that gave me 10% if I bought anything from H Samuel or Earnest Jones. I was going to buy bits of jewellery for them anyway so it was worth the £50. I also got a bit of a dividend, just £1 or £2 a year.

I must stress though that unless you are going to be buying from a company that offers perks it is not worth buying them.

So Carnival that offers cruise credit to shareholders would be no good to me as I have no intention of going on a cruise.

Oh, thanks @Lalalacrosse , I'll take a look at it!
Thank you @sashh for your detailed explanation!
We need to look into our bank accounts system, because you've all given me some good ideas and I think we're being very basic and not taking advantage at what the bank could offer in that regard.
Many good ideas, thank you all!

Pay into a private pension

If you are not working
Pay in £2880 per year, HMRC add the 20% tax automatically (free money !)

See my link here

www.pensionbee.com/?rsCode=kAcgQEMhAtBk1&utm_source=saas&utm_medium=RAF

Learn how to do a cash flow on a spreadsheet putting in expected income then monthly expenses and yearly expenses into the correct future months. Stops your brain going over stuff if you have an idea of what you will have in the bank at the end of the month.

10% at least of your income each month into savings

Then spend on your necessities/non negotiables (rent, food, pensions, insurances utilities etc...)

Then spend on your wants (holidays, trips, treats...)

Spread your savings around - we've got money in premium bonds, isas and high interest savings accounts

Shop around for utilities, insurances, never just stay with the same company- you will not get a good deal

If you want to buy a house, invest in a Lisa

Mse is a good website

You can also do a yearly budget with predicted income less line by line all expenses. Give you an idea of what is available to save.

Look at tax allowances to maximise your family take home.

One earner on £60k will bring home less than two on £30k each, or £40k and £20k because of individual tax alloawance.

If you are not going to use your £12570 personal allowance in any particular year, then it is possible to transfer some of this to a working spouse (https://www.gov.uk/married-couples-allowance).

If Your spouse is a higher rate tax payer, it makes sense to put savings in your name because you get a larger allowance on interest - even larger if you earn nothing at all.

Bringing higher rate tax payer's income below the threshold for Child Benefit by adding extra to pension may also be worth exploring.

3 savings accounts

1. for irregular but known expenditure all yearly expenses like birthdays christmas ( not just presents but the extra food and decor) insurance MOT car service, tyres, brake pads, what you are setting aside for clothes toys school uniform stadard household maintenance add it all up and divide by 12 and put this in this account every month
2. emergency fund for the broken washing machine, car repair, probably a few thousand ideally 3-6 months living expenses (basic food bills transport to work childcare sometimes called barebones budget ie what you need to survive and not go into debt to live) depending on job security
3. long term savings
4. never opt out of pension unless you really can't afford to eat and keep a roof over your heads doesn't seem to apply to you

work out how much each pot needs then put it in on payday budget the rest bills food etc then what is left is your true disposable fun money I suggest an allowance each for you and DH then rest for family treats eating out holidays etc though some people would add 4th savings account for holidays

if you are SAHM try and find time to make sure your getting best deals and research prices, meal plan and use up any food with a short date first stock check freezer fridge and pantry before food shopping and take a list!
be realistic about how many clothes shoes toys your kids really need it is not as many as most people think

Wow, so many things to consider!

• We've been already cutting down on things like clothes (DH and I never spent much on clothing, tbh, but we did for DC1, so DC2 is going to be easier because she'll be able to use DC1's clothes and other family's hand me downs).
• Books have been one of my personal guilty pleasure (I have a large collection, fiction and non fiction): I lost my mind a bit buying classics for my DC, because I have a background in education and also literature and I'm a bit obssessed with good quality books for children. I've decided to limit the buying to special occasions for my dc. I'll also establish a library day. And for me, there's kindle and also the library.
• Eating out and takeaways are, embarrassingly, our largest non essential expenditure. I justify it with lots of excuses (some of them legitimate ones), but I'm going to learn more about meal planing, and techniques like batch cooking.
• DH has started studying YNAB, and we've been looking our expenses. With his salary we'll be able to save, for sure, but we've also seen how disorganized and carefree we've been with our money and our attittude must change. Thankfully, we have no debt, but we were living paycheck to paycheck, and we could have been saving more.
• We'll also be looking very closely to our utilities contracts, like many of you have mentioned!
• Also savings accounts!

This has been very helpful: thank you for taking time to help me! Your tips are very wise 🙏

OP

This is not a one time exercise, every year check your utilities, insurance etc etc.

Oh and check out charity shops for children's books.

BBC Radio 4’s Money Box and Money Box Extra are great podcasts for general financial awareness. You can listen via BBC Sounds App weekly/ any time.
They help consumers, and focus on a theme each programme such as pensions or mortgages, and highlight latest scams etc… they did recently also a phone in on family budgeting as well.

We have always rented, but after having children, we want our own home so we've decided to save for it.
If this is your financial priority, commit to it. Calculate how much deposit you need and how to achieve that in the least amount of time. I would say that holidays are a luxury in this scenario as are JISA payments. Personally, I would throw as much money as possible into attaining your house deposit. Your limitation is your one income household and you either need to search for additional streams of revenue or severely pare back your expenditure which would include holidays and kids' savings.

Take a look at www.moneysavingexpert.com

The biggest thing for us is that DH has a spreadsheet where he allocated money over the year - so £150 pcm for Christmas or £30 pcm for car insurance. So it sits there till it's needed.

I was a great one for paying all my monthly bills and thinking the rest was spendies and not thinking actually £30 every month needed to go on insurance or whatever....

This is one of the principles behind YNAB - embrace your true expenses (not just monthly bills).

its important to have books around the house with young kids - but you hardly ever need to buy them where I live. People put boxes of unwanted books on their front steps, and you can rifle though and just take what you want. I occasionally go for a wander through the local area just to see what there is.

If you need to buy som, charity shops are good - but only the ones selling kids books for 50p each. Some try to charge up to £2:50 which I refuse.

Charity shops also good for DVDs for £1.

I think you have to develop a bit of a mindset, that spending anything over and above what you have to is a treat and considered. So basically get in the habit of only buying what you need regardless of what's left in the bank.

I separated from my ex-husband at the age of 21 with two babies (2 and 1).. I had no money as my ex controlled EVERYTHING.. I had to make hard choices and learn quickly..

As a single mum this is what I did..

• cut out any extras that we didn’t really need whether it be foxtel, dinner out, unnecessary drives

• always try to get the best deal (haggle if you have to)

• MEAL PLAN write down meals for the week, write up a shopping list to avoid waste

• buy what we need when needed

• once you get a rhythm going that’s when you add more

• knew how much I was spending every week, rent, groceries, bills, petrol etc

• I would put away $200 per week into a savings account then act like it didn’t exist

• set a weekly budget and STICK TO IT

• used Afterpay, zip pay for extra purchases like clothes, games, devices etc

• sell any unwanted goods to make extra $$

• any extra money not in my weekly budget went straight into my savings even if it was $10

• take advantage of sales

• fill up petrol when it’s cheap

• pay cash for a better deal

• try to do your grocery shopping, fill petrol, run errands all in the same day so you’re not having to come and go all throughout the week

• I had one mechanic that I stuck with and for my loyalty I got good prices on services to my car

• learn to do things yourself, mow your own lawn (it’s easier than it looks) learn to carry out minor repairs, use YouTube to learn how to tinker with your car (I learnt how to replace all my exterior lights when blown which saved me a lot. I can even dismantle my dash and change the speedo lights I can also take apart my car doors and put them back together and take out the back seat..!

• once I had saved $10000 I started borrowing from myself.. If I took out $400 from my savings I’d put it back ontop of the $200 per week

As time goes on you’ll learn more ways to save and when you see your bank account growing it becomes like an obsession..

After 4 years I was able to buy my own Mercedes with cash, take my kids on holidays, spoil them, refurnish my entire home without depleting my savings..

I did it while they were young that way they didn’t feel like they were missing out on anything. I wanted to be able to buy them whatever they needed without having to say “I don’t have the money for that”

I agree that Money Saving Expert is really your go-to. There is a board on that forum that is all about frugality. From making your own clothes washing liquid for pennies to how to pay off your mortgage quicker and save on the interest.

I was in a high level job, higher tax payer and yet did mystery shopping as every little helped. We overpaid our mortgage for years, it cut our mortgage from 25 years to 13, and saved us a load of interest. Whilst others were buying handbags for £2k I was making my own soap and learning to grow my own food.

Think of this a frugal fun. Going without is NOT depravation, but a step towards your goal. Mindset is important.

Taking a reusable bottle of water, is saving buying a drink, making a picnic is saving the cost of expensive and often less enjoyable lunch out - do go out though, but don’t layer over extra costs. Life has also got to be fun.

Do think - is this a ‘need’ or a ‘want’?

If it’s a need, can you do it more cost effectively? Travel by bus instead of train, or walk instead of Tube. Are branded goods needed? Tinned tomatoes are tinned tomatoes (I get the UPF debate, but essentially citric acid is not an issue).

Cook. You can make fairy cakes and shove them in the oven for pence. I make a microwave sponge as a treat dessert. Much healthier too. Make a curry using spices, and freeze so you never reach for the takeaway menu except special occasions. Takeaways cost a fortune and should be special! - in my frugal opinion.

ALWAYS have what you need in your bag. My DC know I have sun cream, tissues, a pot of dried fruit and nuts, water, I never buy stuff on the fly as being prepared is cheaper.

Make do and mend - sew on a button, repair a torn seam.

Lastly, keep the target in mind. See every step as positive and stay motivated.

You sound incredibly strong and a source of inspiration!

Oh my goodness, thank you..

I love this: yes, there has to be a change of mindset on my part. Your post has reminded me that I've been looking for inspiration to help something in me "click", because I admit I do have this mindset of "frugality=deprivation". That's why I love reading all these examples and tips: they inspire me!

Yes to this.