Good Afternoon, please be kind with me as I’m feeling very fragile and sick with worry. I’ve made terrible money choices and I’ve no one to turn to in real life.
I’m early 40s from a family where being a single mum in poverty is the norm. I’ve no money sense at all. In my 30s, I fled domestic abuse with my two children and moved away. Where we are now, it’s just us - I’ve no family or friends here. Then, after working low paid jobs as a carer, I went to Uni and got a BSc and MA. I proceeded to do my PhD and worked part time, but my eldest left to go back to our home town and my relative who was caring for him started asking for more money than I could give. So I took out credit cards to send them money or shopping, whatever he needed etc.
I left my PhD in the second year, as I needed a full time job and was offered a brilliant role in domestic abuse, but to get a full time job I’d need a car. So I took out more credits cards to pay for weekly driving lessons and then took a car out on finance in 2020, just before I passed my test.
Last year, I made a silly decision and left a well paying full time job to go to Uni to study social work. Even with the car still on finance and being a single mum (I’m not sure if I have ADHD but I’ve always made silly choices like this).
this time coincides with my youngest starting secondary school and their Autism and Anxiety became very worse. Over the next few months, whilst studying for my MA, she was self-harming, school refusal, awful anxiety, aggressive towards me. In March of this year, I had a mental breakdown and went on UC. I had to withdraw from my studies. Even on UC, I’ve still been paying for the car finance and chipping away at debts but not making a difference - having left the PhD and MA, means I’m now in thousands of debt ti the university.
I also have over a thousand in arrears council tax and rent.
over the last few months, my child was allocated a social worker and I took medication for my mental health, feeling better. My old boss offered me a job and I started this week just gone. Today, my car broke down and the mechanic said it needs a new engine. I can’t afford the £1000+ for that and it’s still on finance. I’ll also lose my job if I don’t have a car as I need to visit clients.
I don’t have a partner or family member I can ask for help, it’s been a tough year and I feel battered. My brain today has told me to give up, leave my job, return the car and get a DRO.
What do you all think? Please be kind, and sorry it’s so long.