"Family" account to manage DD going off to college

[GinForBreakfast]

DD is going away to college (she's 16, we live rurally and her ideal college is far enough away to merit term-time accommodation there). I want a joint account that me, DH and DD can all put money into / take money out of and can all see/manage through an app. The reason is that I want DD to understand how much she is costing us, and for me and DH to be able to budget for DD's costs separate from the rest of our joint expenses. It will help us prepare should she choose to go to university.

How do I do this? Joint accounts are for two people only, or for over 18s only. I thought that Starling would work by using their "spaces" but I've just been rejected for a joint account with them 😠despite having a perfect credit score.

Any families with similar situations and snazzy solutions please let me know. Thank you!

You want her to see how much "she is costing you". I really hope you don't mean it like that.

That she is learning the cost of living is one thing. Making it sound like you resent it is another and is terrible.

Thanks so much for that very helpful reply. This is money matters, not relationships or parenting.

Just get a card in your name and give her asecond card and access to the app.

Why not use revolut?

Can she not just have a weekly budget put in her account?

If she's old enough to live away, she's old enough to manage a budget. She will know how much you are spending on her as she will have money put in her account from you.

What kind of costs is it for? Just food shop etc or her accomodation and other costs too?

That's what I would do. Work out a budget / allowance and pay it weekly or monthly or half termly. Review it at half term and Christmas.
DD's college has pre pay meal plans for residents. Does yours have anything similar?

Perhaps bill her quarterly so she understands exactly what a bother she is.

Find an account aimed at kids with one parent able to access it and then you and DH share login between you.

She's 16 and going into compulsory education. She doesn't need to know how much she's costing you.

Giver her a budget, help her learn to manage her own money.

Rooster Money (which is NatWest)? We use this with our younger children but everyone can see valances, spend, topping up is easy etc

If she was living at home would you also want her to see how much she was costing you?

Why would a child need to know how much she’s “costing you”?

Did you not want her?

Maybe not but you might want to give it some thought.

Btw, you're quite welcome.

People must be pretty bored tonight to pick on a dull money thread. Go vipers!

Warning: this post focuses on finances and not maternal devotion.

For those interested in answering the question, DD's weekly bills will be uneven as some weekend she will stay at college and other times she will take the train home, so weekly budgeting might not work. I also want to encourage her to think ahead to more occasional, bigger expenses.

The budgeting is of course mainly for me and DH. At the moment her costs are covered sometimes from our joint account and sometimes from our individual accounts so I don't really know how much we spend on her each month.

I will look at Revolut as I already have an account with them.

@TeenDivided thank you. Yes, she will have a meal plan which includes x2 meals a day so she needs to pay for a third. I am slightly worried about her spiced pumpkin caramel macchiato habit, I have no doubt that she will make some mistakes in her first couple of terms so it's about balancing responsibility and support.

Is it absolutely necessary that both you and your DH have access to the account you want to share with DD? If I was in this scenario I’d set up a joint account with DD, and just review the account sometimes with my DH, if he wanted an overview too. I don’t know why both adults need to be able to access it?

For budgeting matters, I think you could look into YNAB and using that as a family. Then you can all keep your bank accounts separate (yours, DH’s, DD’s, joint) but all have an overview of how much things cost, and budget money for irregular or lumpy expenses like the train travel. It would be a bit of effort to learn but it’s a great app.

This

@NoSquirrels yes, we both need to have access. We both occasionally work away or travel so may not be immediately available should DD need us.

Revolut looks like it might have the answer, you can have a parent/child connected account and then add a co-parent.

I know I'm not answering the financial question, but it does seem odd op. The only way I can see it working is by logging her phone into your current account, so that she can see the transactions and have access to the money through Google Pay. I'm not sure of the wisdom of this though. Another option is perhaps a shared credit card, but again it doesn't seem sensible. My eldest is going to uno in September, and I'll just give her a monthly budget to manage. Bank of mum will be available for top ups, but I would let your dc manage their own finances separately to yours, as part of their learning experience. Its won't matter how much the accommodation is costing to your dc - it is what it is. They'll have great fun bt at agricultural college btw.

You don't need access to her account to send her money if she needs it. It's also probably the case that you can't open a joint account where one party is under 18. Not that you'd want to have a joint account with her at any age because if she spends all her money on 'pumpkin spiced lattes' and then the rent or electricity DD bounces, then that's your credit rating ruined too.

What she needs is a sole account like Starling (or Monzo, Kroo, Chase) that's in her own name and allows pots/spaces - she won't get rejected for an age appropriate account as there will be no credit facility. Then help her set up splitting the money into pots so she sees that the money in the bills pot is to pay for bills that happen later in the month and she's only allowed to spend money in the fun pot on non essentials.

Also look at the amounts she has in each pot, how far it will go, and if she spends a fiver a day on a fancy coffee, that's almost certainly going to mean that she'll have less to spend on clothes or whatever else she likes to do/buy. So this is a virtual equivalent to 'cash stuffing' or envelope budgeting which has been discovered by the TikTok generation, but it's probably best to do electronically as no risk of the money being lost or stolen, and many places don't take cash any more.

But she should also consider looking for work, either in the evenings/weekends or during the holidays, so she has extra spending money, and she also appreciates how long it can take to earn vs how quickly it can be spent.

@GinForBreakfast I think this is a really crucial point for your DD to learn about budgeting.

Ideally give her a monthly amount and be clear what it covers and what it doesn’t cover. As pp have said an account that allows her to have different “pots” is ideal. I would also look at her having a savings account so she can save up for larger items.

Over time increase the £ but also what it covers.

Martin Lewis has a free guide you can use to talk about money and finances
hwww.moneysavingexpert.com/news/2021/04/free-guide-parents-kids-spending-money-online/

Also start to involve her in family discussions about money e.g. how you budget, how you save for holidays etc.

I don’t really understand what you are trying to achieve? Do you want to see exactly what she spends? If so I don’t see why both of you need separate access for that?
Either of you can send money to her at any time, whether or not the account is also in your name.
If you trust her and you think she will cope with budgeting, give her a set amount monthly and explain that you know some weeks will be more expensive but she needs to budget for that.
If you don’t trust her then you still need to give things a go, but maybe sit down with her every month to go through her spending?
If you don’t think she will cope with budgeting then she still needs to try this, but maybe you could send money weekly and ask her for details of whether it will be an expensive month or not.

i can’t work out what problem you are trying to solve where the only solution is a 3 way bank account.

Thank you. Essentially I need both me and DH to have total visibility over costs associated with DD. At the moment I pay for some stuff from my personal account, DH ends up buying her things from his money and other stuff comes from the joint account.

My ideal would be a triple account that me and DH can both put money into and DD's college costs come out of, and also her spending money.

I think I've got a solution with my Revolut account, a junior account connected to it and DH as a "co-parent" but that is going to cost £4 per month.

You can get prepaid cards you top up that you can see.

There's a Henry card, I think.
Sibstar is usually aimed at elderly and their carers, but might work too.

I would suggest you just get a child account set up for her with a debit card (HSBC do one) then you and DH can just pay into it, its a normal bank transfer.