CSA & 50/50 - Help

[BH701]

Hi,

I'm trying to understand CSA after just splitting with my ex. He wants 50/50, but I'm struggling to see how he would fulfill that as he works early so couldn't do all nursery drops.

He also has another son, who he only sees every other weekend and pays his ex £150p/m - they agreed this amount.

Am I entitled to anything? How do I go about it?

I work 4 days, since having her and my employer won't let me go to 5. I have a mortgage, but I'm going to be down to the wire every month if he gives me 0. What can I do?

She's only 2 and struggling with the change.

Thank you

I think that at 2 your child is a bit young to be away from her mother for too long. Also he’s not going to be able to drop her at nursery so I’d say overnights off the cards for a good while. Need to start slowly and gradually build up. How much hands on care did he put in when you were together. Does he know her routine, her favourite foods etc. I think I’d start with her going to her dad late morning til early afternoon. So back home for tea, bath and bed. Routine is very important at this age and she’ll struggle if too much change. I certainly wouldn’t be happy with any overnights at the moment. Also if you give 50/50 or a large amount of sole contact and he then goes to Court for a formal order you’ll not be able to oppose it. Also 50/50 = no maintenance necessary.
Take things slowly and just make sure you focus on what is best for your child.

Hi,

Thank you, we started on 1 day/night on the weekend and just 1 night in the week - I feel as though that is plenty for now. But how can I just refuse him having any more contact? I have mentioned the need for routine and her being so young, but his view is that she'll just get used to it.

I don't know what to do.

Contact the CM and put a claim in. Are you getting universal credit? Council tax discount?

simply refuse his request for 50/50

You tell him NO. If he argues tell him that it will have to be court who decides and he will have to initiate that process and it will cost thousands of pounds

Why wouldn't you let your kids other parent see her half the time? It's not the 1980s any more. Dad's are just as capable as mums these days.

Let him worry about nursery on his days. Getting her there and back and paying for it is entitely his job on his days.

Make sure he knows this. You absolutely won't be helping out or doing nursery/school drops on his time.

NB: court doesn't cost thousands. If you try and restrict access he can self represent for a few hundred pounds. The court will always look at a 50/50 starting point in a child that's no longer breast fed.

Yes I've already done both of these, I'm not entitled to much but a tiny bit. Thank you!

He is 'capable' but he doesn't provide much emotional support, his son doesn't like coming over and he only sees him every other weekend and not overnight, so he treats both children differently. He's self-employed and in the last 2 years I've done almost all drop offs & taken any days off required due to sickness or childcare issues. He's adamant he would 'figure it out' but that worries me, I want to know what that means.

It's just horrible to have no idea how a child is being cared for half the time when they're too young to let you know