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Original poster

About The Other Woman

24 replies

WestCountryLass · 07/04/2008 20:50

Just to let you know that FIL has agreed to pay the other woman £130K.

Apparantly there were witnesses to him allocating her a 3rd of the house so he has agreed that amount, mainly to get rid of her.

OP posts:

Original poster

WestCountryLass · 07/04/2008 21:04

Oh bollocks, DH has just called her and told her that when the payment has been made he will be emailing everyone in her address book to let them know what sort of person they are dealing with.

OP posts:

LaComtesse · 07/04/2008 21:15

. Tempting but really he'd be better off keeping his dignity.

Youcannotbeserious · 07/04/2008 21:16

Is she black mailing him?

Nice lady... NOT

Original poster

WestCountryLass · 07/04/2008 22:36

Sorry, should have explained, this is my original thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2230/508191

No, he is not being blackmailed...and I have tried to talk some sense into my DH but at the moment he is incredibly PO!!!!

OP posts:

Fizzylemonade · 08/04/2008 11:15

Surely promising someone 1/3 means that they receive that on the death of your FIL. Was any legal advice sort on this? Otherwise couldn't your Dh could ask for his share now?

Original poster

WestCountryLass · 08/04/2008 20:19

Yes, the intention was on death but she is demanding it and FIL just wants to sort things out. I suppose DH could demand is 1/3 but wouldn't do thwat to his Dad.

DH gutted that money his mother as well as his father worked for has gone on paying off the ex. We have to respect FILs wishes and suck it up.

OP posts:

Freckle · 08/04/2008 20:52

Presumably if there were witnesses to the offer of 1/3, then those witnesses would be aware that the offer was conditional on your FIL's death and their still being together.

Clearly neither of those things is the case here, so he is not obliged to offer anything. However, it sounds as though he just wants it to all go away, so perhaps you do have to grin and bear it. However, he might be wise to get her to sign a document confirming that this payment does not acknowledge any further entitlement to anything from his estate and that she can make no further claims on him or his estate.

Youcannotbeserious · 08/04/2008 23:00

I agree with Freckle, but I think your DH has EVERY right to e-mail who the hell he wants to and tell the truth about what this woman is doing....

She's not legally entitled to a penny and well she knows it.

madamez · 08/04/2008 23:15

Hang on a minute: obviously I don't know you or your family, but if your FIL encouraged this woman to give up her own home, stop work and move in with him on the grounds that he would provide for her and he has now dumped her, it doesn't necessarily make her an evil bitch to want a financial settlement. She may well be a fit and active early 60s but there are not many jobs paying much above minimum wage for mature women who haven't worked for some time.
For all I (or anyone else on MN) knows, your FIL could have been stringing her along in order to get sex, cooking and cleaning out of her for several years, and now he has decided to dump her for a younger model or something (sorry I am not actually slagging off your FIL but I don't know the details and it's not unheard of for older women to be very badly treated by XPs over finance).
He should of course consult a solicitor, but so should she.

Original poster

WestCountryLass · 09/04/2008 22:14

He didn't encourage her to give up her home and job and he hasn't dumped her. They both decided she would move in with him to his previous house and then they moved to where theya re living now and he said he would give her the 1/3 upon his death, that was only 2 years ago.

She hot footed it down to a solicitors the moment she got back from 6 weeks in Florida at FILs expense. There is no younger model involved.

Do you seriously think a woman who has not contributed to a lifestyle of 6 weeks in Florida, 2 other trips to Florida, 4 weeks in Australia, numerous trips to various European destinations as well as day to day expenses being covered etc etc is entitled to £130K after 4 years????

OP posts:

Freckle · 09/04/2008 22:17

In which case her solicitor should have advised that promises are not legally binding, unless you have changed your circumstances to your detriment as a result of the promise. It appears that this is not the case.

As I said before, she may be able to prove a small beneficial interest, but absolutely will not be able to prove an interest worth £130K. £20K would be generous.

NorthernLurker · 09/04/2008 22:17

No I don't think she is 'entitled' to it by any means - buut if that's what your fil wants to do then I don't see there is anything you can do otherwise - unfortunately.

Original poster

WestCountryLass · 09/04/2008 22:24

Of course and we are supporting FIL in that but I feel a rant is justified! We are raising him £30K on credit cards for him to pay her as he doesn't have the whole amount.

I think at 69 FIL thinks it better to pay her off and be done with it already.

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NorthernLurker · 09/04/2008 22:27

WCL - hang on - that's another kettle of fish altogether - it's totally unacceptable for you and dh to be taking on a mega personal debt - with a huge interest rate - to pay off someone who isn't legally entitled to it. Will FIL be in a position to pay you back very quickly?

Original poster

WestCountryLass · 09/04/2008 22:36

Well 1/3 of house is £130K she won't settle for the £100K that FIL has in his bloody current account and FIL is 69 with high BP and having panic attacks about the whole thing. He can't get a loan because of his age so DH said he would loan him the dosh (DH self employed and he got these credit cards for when his business maxxed out on credit with suppliers and if he gets orders for lots of hardware) so we can raise the finance.

FIL earns quite a lot of money on assets sitting on his bum so recckon debt with interest will be paid in 6 months. Fingers crossed he doesn't kick the bucket in the meantime eh????

OP posts:

Freckle · 09/04/2008 22:40

I think you should get all this agreed in writing. Your FIL will have to get some sort of written confirmation from the OW that she has no further claim on him or his estate anyway, so you should get your loan to him documented too.

Actually if the OW has no job and no assets, it's unlikely she could afford to take this to court, certainly not on something as nebulous as a promise to leave something to her in his will. And with house prices dropping, the house may not be worth anywhere near 3 x £130K.

NorthernLurker · 09/04/2008 22:42

Well get something in writing - don't want to sad callous - but if anything unexpected should happen - you need to make sure you and dh aren't left up the creek without a paddle! I think it is very good of you to do this btw - to give your fil peace of mind. I can totally see where your dh is coming from re the e-mail now - though i'm not sure it would be wise or useful to actually send it!

NorthernLurker · 09/04/2008 22:42

sorry -'sound' not 'sad'

edam · 09/04/2008 22:46

WCL, I don't know what your cashflow is like, but I'd be very, very wary of raising £30k on credit cards right now. There's a credit squeeze, house prices falling - how would you cope if the lenders called in the debt? Please don't put your home or your business at risk to pay this woman off.

NorthernLurker · 09/04/2008 22:48

Ok - rude question I think but anyway - does you fil know you will need to use credit cards to help him out. With the interest rate on them and the monthly payments it will demand I personally don't think it's a reasonable request. Just wondered if he thinks your dh is drawing on savings etc? Don't answer if you think I should mind my own business - I won't mind

Original poster

WestCountryLass · 09/04/2008 22:50

I know, it's all a bit scarey. Its like monopoly money to me. Will deffo get it in writing because he did the same with us when we borrowed the money for a new boiler off of him (generally speaking FIL is a right Ebeneezer and he is giving some strumpet my husbands and his sisters inheritanve).

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NorthernLurker · 09/04/2008 22:51

WCL - 'bit scary' is an understatement!

Original poster

WestCountryLass · 09/04/2008 23:03

Yes, he knows and he definitely knows we have no savings!!!! I don't mind, I am quite transparent about these things FIL did not ask us for the money, DH offered it to him because he is getting in a right old state.

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madamez · 10/04/2008 00:21

Whatever the situation, get it all in writing and consult a solicitor on your own behalves (ie you and your DH).

Flip