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Original poster

Anyone else worried about money

51 replies

neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 03:55

Looking for others like me. It's never been easy. Ever since I married and got a house. We started late, we had no guidance from parents and didn't really know the importance of getting on the housing ladder, no financial advice. It was really us just doing what we thought was right. Now we have 2 kids and mortgage fixed deal is about to end and I'm stressing about the rising costs. I did a degree that I can't use and did what made me happy at the time. Now I'm in a low paid job and I stick to it because we live rurally and there's no other option that works around my kids. Lying awake worrying about everything. I'm tired of worrying.
Don't know what to achieve from this thread really, wondered if there are others out there like me.

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons77 · 10/06/2024 04:16

Where do you live? I have relatives in Scotland who are similar but OK as housing is generally less.

Original poster
neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 04:23

I'm in Scotland.

OP posts:
Original poster
neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 04:25

I also don't have family. My mum died (I'm heartbroken) and dad and siblings moved abroad. They don't talk to each other and are on bad terms. :-(

OP posts:
Softycatchymonkeys · 10/06/2024 04:26

What degree did you do?

Original poster
neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 04:46

Music. It's dying. A performance degree. Years ago.

OP posts:
dothehokeycokey · 10/06/2024 04:50

@neveraneasylife

It's always worse at night op as our brains tick over in the quiet

When does your current rate end?

I think many people are feeling really wobbly in regards to money housing rates etc and the world was tipped upside down and I don't think anyone's really recovered from it if they ever will

Original poster
neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 04:58

dothehokeycokey · 10/06/2024 04:50

@neveraneasylife

It's always worse at night op as our brains tick over in the quiet

When does your current rate end?

I think many people are feeling really wobbly in regards to money housing rates etc and the world was tipped upside down and I don't think anyone's really recovered from it if they ever will

@dothehokeycokey
Fixed rate ends end of August.

Thanks for your reply. Everyone around me seems fine. Having holidays etc. I'm stressed to the max. I wish I was guided better but only myself to blame. :-(

OP posts:
MaroonMidnight · 10/06/2024 05:05

I know exactly how you feel. Yet another sleepless night

Original poster
neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 05:09

MaroonMidnight · 10/06/2024 05:05

I know exactly how you feel. Yet another sleepless night

@MaroonMidnight
Do you have kids? Are you in the UK?
It's so hard. I hate this.

OP posts:
Original poster
neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 05:29

It's time for me to get up now I'm feeling sleepy ... sakes!

OP posts:
SandysMam · 10/06/2024 05:48

If your fixed rate ends in August, have you secured a new deal already? If not you need to get on this asap or you will go onto the SVR which will be much higher.

Algiz20 · 10/06/2024 05:51

I am constantly worried about money, even with having been lucky enough to get a small promotion which brings in a little more money. No more WFH though as the part of the organisation I am in is pretty backwards in that respect, even compared to the rest of the company. Our exec wants everyone on site every day, unless you're one of the blue eyed bods. The commute is bloody awful and I am burned out all the time now. Weekends I mainly sleep and I am worn out by the time I get to the annual leave we're grudgingly allowed (new clueless manager from another sector trying to impose their will).

When I can I also do some work in a second job which brings in a tiny bit more but partner cannot work at all due to illness and injury and every day is a struggle.

Our mortgage payments doubled when Lettuce girl and her sidekick trashed the economy. We could manage the payments reasonably easily prior to that point but now every day is a struggle and the joy in life is all gone. I was very poor as a kid and I am beyond furious that I am having to live this way again in mid life.

warmleatherette · 10/06/2024 06:01

Me! Full-time working single mum of two teens. Also freelancing on top to make ends meet. Paying down debt from when kids were small and I couldn't work but couldn't get housing benefit as I owned the flat. (He left when they were age 2 and 3 and didn't / still won't pay.)

I'm earning more than I ever have but the debt repayments (500/ month) cancel it out. Paycheck to paycheck, always. It's the holidays that are most galling, is it not? My colleagues are all around 30 and partnered up - dual income, no kids - and are always jetting off. One even went to Dubai for a weekend! I don't begrudge them, as we're different life stages, but the grind just gets you down after a while, doesn't it?

Original poster
neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 06:03

SandysMam · 10/06/2024 05:48

If your fixed rate ends in August, have you secured a new deal already? If not you need to get on this asap or you will go onto the SVR which will be much higher.

@SandysMam

We were in process of doing this but then the broker missed telephone appointments and had radio silence. I googled them and they've appeared to gone into administration so I have contacted another broker. Nightmare!

OP posts:
Original poster
neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 06:09

Algiz20 · 10/06/2024 05:51

I am constantly worried about money, even with having been lucky enough to get a small promotion which brings in a little more money. No more WFH though as the part of the organisation I am in is pretty backwards in that respect, even compared to the rest of the company. Our exec wants everyone on site every day, unless you're one of the blue eyed bods. The commute is bloody awful and I am burned out all the time now. Weekends I mainly sleep and I am worn out by the time I get to the annual leave we're grudgingly allowed (new clueless manager from another sector trying to impose their will).

When I can I also do some work in a second job which brings in a tiny bit more but partner cannot work at all due to illness and injury and every day is a struggle.

Our mortgage payments doubled when Lettuce girl and her sidekick trashed the economy. We could manage the payments reasonably easily prior to that point but now every day is a struggle and the joy in life is all gone. I was very poor as a kid and I am beyond furious that I am having to live this way again in mid life.

@Algiz20

Yes similar position to you. I'd take a second job but my husband works changeable long shift patterns so I can't due to childcare issues. I have no family for support.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this but I have to say hearing from you makes me feel less alone. Money is a taboo subject no one wants to talk about out loud due to pride. I live in a fairly affluent area and lots of mums don't need to work. I had a mum that thought I was poor and I said "so where are you going on holiday" she said "I don't want to tell you really. Well it's actually ..... " (somewhere exotic dont want to be too outing). She clearly thinks I'm poor so didn't want to make me feel bad but actually it made me feel bloody awful. It's not like I dress in rags. It's because my daughter said something and I'm so embarrassed.
Thank you for your reply.

OP posts:
FedUpMumof10YO · 10/06/2024 07:15

Yes!!

Single mum with 2 kids working 3 job. 1 FT 2 PT.
It's hard!!

Even with pay increases, it's not enough.

RandomMess · 10/06/2024 07:18

Hopefully your new broker will help.

Could you consider extending the term of your mortgage for a while?

Tel12 · 10/06/2024 07:20

Music? Do you play, can you teach? You can instruct online? Just a thought.

DrStrangesSmarterSister · 10/06/2024 07:23

We used London and County previously, I think MSE recommends them.

Have you checked with your current lender to see which deal you could move onto with them?

RosesAndHellebores · 10/06/2024 07:23

Maths and music go hand in hand don't they? Could you do a book keeping course and help small businesses?

Elphamouche · 10/06/2024 08:41

Yep me. I think I’m reaching breaking point. Maternity leave, 11 week old and I’d just got my head round surviving that. Husbands potentially loosing his job in 4 weeks and all I’ve done all weekend is cry. Horrendous.

horseymum · 10/06/2024 08:48

Please look at CAP. Christians against poverty is the name but it's the staff and volunteers who are Christians, the clients don't need to be. They are well respected by Martin Lewis etc. If you are in actual debt, they can broker plans for you and deal with all the paperwork etc. If not at crisis point yet, they do a money course which helps with budgeting, looking at any benefits you might be eligible for etc and have a very non judgemental approach. I hope you get some real life support.

RedHelenB · 10/06/2024 08:50

neveraneasylife · 10/06/2024 04:46

Music. It's dying. A performance degree. Years ago.

It's still a degree though Have you considered a career in teaching, or doing private lessons for more money?

Ariela · 10/06/2024 12:25

Could you start a music group for kids, which by necessity may have to include your own kids to get round childcare issues? Or an evening class for adults? I guess you'd have to rent a venue of some sort, but you could make that work if you had enough people attend.

Outnumbered99 · 10/06/2024 12:38

DrStrangesSmarterSister · 10/06/2024 07:23

We used London and County previously, I think MSE recommends them.

Have you checked with your current lender to see which deal you could move onto with them?

The brokers such as the one you mention pay to be on the MSE website, just for info- many smaller and brilliant brokers hear every day that "Martin recommends....." no, they are advertising! He/MSE recommend using A broker.

OP- hopefully when you speak to the new broker you will be put at ease that your payments don't go up as much as you are fearing, we find at work that people are finding this more and more and the fear is so much worse than the reality.

When i read posts like yours, people with no family support, i always think we have so many people lonely or just in need of a supportive sibling/parent type role now and again, and people with the means and opportunity to be supportive, its a shame there isn't a way to get these people together. The ultimate "friends are the family you choose".

I'm having a high anxiety day today, its exhausting and its awful so many people are having to live like this