Is he being unfair??

[Brunettebeau]

Hi,

i’m 48 and have been with partner for 2 years. A year before we met I entered into an IVA due to being in huge debt. I was always honest about this this from very early on in our relationship. There’s never been a sob story from me as my debts sets due to years of financial mismanagement and overspending. I take full responsibility. The IVA has been a positive thing for me. It’s also cut off access to credit which I consider a blessing.

Over the last 6 months My partner has made little jibes about my financial situation. An example of this was a couple of weeks ago when we were out food shopping (we don’t live together but often do our food shopping together). My shopping came to about £20 more than normal as I’d bought cleaning products and lots of toiletries etc. he made a common about me overspending and me “going back up my old ways”. He also likes To remind me about my debts and how “ it’s shocking” and “ What a mess to get yourself into”. I’m sick of it and think it’s unfair. He had a choice to not pursue our relationship but surely I can’t be made to feel guilty for this forever??

Red flags here OP. He is setting a narrative whereby you "can't be trusted with money", and is likely to become financially controlling if the relationship continues.
Well done on the work you've done to manage your debts and spending!

Your past is real and exists. You dont need some tit reminding you of it as you are living with it and dealing with it daily. 2 years into a relationship is not that long and he's already showing you who he is. and who hr is , is not nice. I would drop him before things get any more serious.

Oh tell him to fuck off. Only an arsehole deliberately pokes at a sensitive spot.

Find someone more supportive, OP. This one’s a grade A arsehole.

And well done for dealing with the debt. One day it’ll be gone (hopefully like the unsupportive arsehole).

Another vote for tell him to fuck off.

He's an arse. Time to get rid.

Tell him you find it really unsexy when he acts like your dad.

I think you need to be upfront with him that these comments are hurtful and unnecessary, and you want him to stop making them starting right now. If he responds then great. If he DOESN'T that is definitely a red flag. Either way those comments are unkind, which isn't great from a partner.