WWYD ~ Dream forever home

[Dreamhouseornot]

Hello,

WWYD

Our house is under offer and we have started to view houses. It’s down to two possibly houses (hubby thinks one and I think the other)

Option 1
The dream forever home, amazing location, amazing south facing garden, room for our teen/adult children and space for them to stay with families in the future when they leave home.
Perfect for entertaining, all done up with nothing to do
BUT We would be highly mortgaged and probably won’t be able to afford the 2/3 holidays a year we currently have and as many days out etc (but could still manage 1 holiday a year)
It is the house I’ve manifested my whole life and work so incredibly hard, would feel like it’s all been worthwhile.
If interests rates go down in a couple of years we could look at a new deal which would perhaps decrease the monthly payments?

Option 2
Still a nice house, but smaller not as good as an area but still nice, small north facing garden but still enough room inside - bathrooms and decor we would change over time but no rush.
Much smaller mortgage so would be able to holiday when we like and buy treats, days out, take away now and again, weekly cleaner etc

Which one would you go for or have you done and did you regret it or was it the best decision ever

Thank you

It seems clear to me that you want to live in House 1 and aren't that excited about House 2. So I don't think you should buy House 2.

You love House 1 but your DH doesn't. Why not? Is it the cost? A house is too important a thing to buy if only one of you is happy. So I don't think you should buy House 1 either.

Instead I think you need to do some more research and thinking. If he thinks House 1 is too expensive and you think House 2 isn't good enough then there really isn't any other option but to keep looking until you find one you both are happy with.

However, if you are in the situation where you are both happy, just with slight preferences one way or the other, then I would be tempted to push the boat out a bit and go with the better one. BUT I am worried by your comment "if interest rates go down we could maybe have a bit more money". What if they go up? They are still not that high by historical standards.

So I can't help feeling you need to find House 3 which is in the middle.

It sounds as if the only advantage of house 2 is that it’s cheaper and easy to see why from your description.
Whats the actual price difference? I would choose house 1 but not if it’s stretching too far financially. I bought last year, my absolute ideal home would have been way over budget so I didn’t look at those!

Honestly, neither. You need a house that you like but don't take on too much debt, if you already have teens you can't be that young.

In your situation (I was late 40's, kids at university) we bought a house that we fitted in but no bigger as now (4 years on) they are leaving, our mortgage is now paid off.

Option 2. No one dies wishing they spent more on their house

I know for me it would be option one, but some people love to travel and are always out and would hate to be stuck with an unnecessarily large mortgage. From your post, I don’t think you would regret cutting back to get the house.

Option 1. You'll never forget it if you don't.

Also, you are pretty lucky to still be able to afford a holiday a year plus your dream home. Lots of us don't have that. I don't think sacrificing 3 holidays a year is a massive thing, if it enables you to buy your dream home to be honest.

North facing gardens are great! Your room at the back of the house (usually the kitchen) doesn't get too hot, and you can have your patio at the end of the garden where it's quiet and sunny, surrounded by flowers.

I’ve had North and South, I’m so getting West next time. I have South at the moment and the rooms at the back of the house are too warm to use in the summer. It’s great for my solar panels though.

But she is sacrificing something her DH wants for soemthing he doesn't want

Need another option

Yes I’m option 1 & hubby option 2

3 children gone through HE already and one still in secondary school.

Both of us are mid/late 40s

I think DH is worried we won’t be able to afford to do anything ever again 🤦‍♀️

Dream house will max us right out on the mortgage and will use all of our savings.
its 225k more - so we could say keep 25k of savings and still have a £200k less mortgage if we went for option 2

Im happy to go without holiday (holiday in my new garden ha ha!)

We are moving as need more space. 1 teen and 2 adult children still living with us and often have friends over. Eldest son has moved out and bought his own home but visits often. Hubby would also like a games room so he and the ‘kids’ can play pool, darts etc in the evenings/weekends (both houses give this option)

I think he is coming around to my way of thinking….going to view them again tomorrow 🤞

I’ve been reading all of your replies out to him, so thank you for your great response and thoughts 🙏

Good luck OP, let us know what you decide. We were in a similar situation and went with option one, 2 years ago. No regrets whatsoever despite interest rates we still feel like the luckiest people on earth to have an amazing house that we truly love

@Dreamhouseornot
Option 1 without a doubt. I reckon you'd never forgive yourself if you settled for second best by going with option 2.
Best of luck

Option 1 for the kind of values you're looking at, I'd take whatever risk you think it is. Likely to end up out of reach over next few years. Go big or go home!

Option 1 by far. Holidays are great but you spend FAR more time in your house per year than you do on holiday. Your house you experience every single day of your life. A holiday is a couple of weeks per year. Dont underestimate the effects of your daily environment on your wellbeing.

I dont know… with the ages of your family and yourselves I’m not sure if a bigger stretch and mortgage is wise tbh.
Has it got potential for downstairs living in the future should either of you be unable to manage stairs?
Are you still paying for holidays for adult “children”? It sounds like you are kind of making a rod for your own back by having a forever family home and keeping adults who really should be making their own way in the world. A bit of discomfort might push them out the nest.

Surely there must be something inbetween? £200k difference is a lot

How will you feel in Option 1 once all children leave home, will you be rattling around?

When I watch Escape to the Country you often get couples wanting a house with a dining room big enough to house all the family at Christmas, but for the rest of the year it is just them! It seems a bit mad.

Option 2 for me (or keep looking) - I wouldn't want to put myself under long term financial stress.

I don’t think option one is fair on your DH, he may have dreams of you both retiring early and seeing the world together or doing more fun things with your teens and adult DC.

I think you need to carry on looking and talk more about what you’d like from the next ten/twenty years.

I would say possibly go for number one (we did in our mid 40’s) if you had a view to downsize in ten years but it doesn’t sound as if you do.

You've got 30-40 years in the next house so gut says go for option 1

In principle it's fine... but id think carefully.
the way you describe it sounds HUGE if the footprint is over 2000sq ft or so I'd think carefully.
Your children will be gone in a few years and then you just have hoarding space.

I say this as a lot of our neighbours are older and the ones with big houses 2500-4000sq feet struggle with maintainance. I'm not just talking those in their 80s but those in their late 50s/early 60s who are asset rich cash poor.

Option 1. 40 years since we bought our first house, four houses in and our only regret is we didn’t stretch ourselves more earlier. The house will go up in value, your mortgage will seem less and in a couple of years it won’t feel as hard. We had a couple of chances to go bigger, earlier and we were too nervous and still talk about the ‘if onlys’.

I’m a holiday person but when your children are out of education you can do much cheaper breaks not in term time.

For me it would be option 1 - if your home genuinely ticks enough boxes then you won't feel the need to be away from it on multiple holidays a year. My house Isn't perfect, but my heart lifts a little every single time I put my key in the front door when I get home.

BUT I think maxing out your mortgage AND wiping out your savings isn't a great idea. What if dream home needs some unpexcted maintenance in the first few years?

Income wise, are there any prospects of e.g. your salaries going up or outgoings coming down between now and retirement that might ease the financial squeeze of option 1?

Option 1 every day of the week. We did it a couple of years ago in our 50s…yes we’d have been mortgage free by now but where we live now has brought absolute peace and joy to our lives that we didn’t know we were missing.

It was an upsize too, not because we needed the space, it was all about where the house was rather than the house itself…as it turned out an adult child has ended up moving back in due to a relationship ending, and this house suits life with adult kids much better than the previous would have -they’re upstairs and we’re downstairs 😂

Option 1

It is a bit ridiculous how many old couples live in these huge houses while families live in 2 bed flats. It's all gone wrong somehow. The old people with large pensions and massive houses hanging on to their properties