Beating myself up over this

[Rabbitstoe]

Morning,

I’m in a mess. Not really sure why I’m posting other than to maybe get it out of my head a bit.

i had some money struggles a while back and my lovely mum helped me out loads. She’s not wealthy at all but she allowed to become a second card holder on a credit card that she had but never used on the condition that I paid the bill and took full responsibility. She is in her 70’s and doesn’t use any credit now- mortgage paid off etc

things have been tough again recently and stupidly I’ve relied on the card too much and it’s now maxed out. I feel so awful about it. I always religiously pay on time so that’s not an issue, but I just feel so bad that I’ve done this to mum. I’d transfer it into a card/loan in my name but I’m not eligible

i’vd spoken to mum and she’s her usual lovely self. She’s not bothered about the card balance and doesn’t want me stressed. I just can’t shake off this feeling if tidal wretchedness. I’m waking in the night panicking and struggling to eat

mums view is that I just need to keep up the payments and chip away at it

i Judy feel like the worst person ever right now

Don't be hard on yourself but put together a plan of action to get it paid off. If it's accruing interest try and switch to a 0% interest card. Cut the card up so you're not tempted to spend on it again and work out your monthly payment and stick to it. Once you start seeing the balance going down you'll feel much better.

I think I’d feel differently if it was just my card. I feel like I’ve put mom in a shitty position and I love mom so much

Ask your mum to transfer the balance to a 0% deal otherwise nearly the money you pay will go on interest.

Then stop using the card and get some budgeting advice eg from Moneysavingexpert.com as its not clear whether you don't have enough money to cover your basic expenses or if you're overspending on non essentials.

Thanks guys. I know that I haven’t really sorted anything yet, but I feel better having offloaded it a bit

Don't panic when you panic everything seems worse, calm down and have a think write down some solutions. Think about putting some things on depop or eBay for sale and have a little todo list even to start making some money towards the card payments.