Friend would rather stay on Benefits

[Mavan1984]

Hi everyone

I have a friend who is in her early 40s. She has 5 kids, eldest being 17 and youngest being 4. No disabilities in the family.

Friends husband is on minimum wage and Works about 35 hours a week. Friend is SAHM and has never worked, they have always been topped up by CTC and WTC.

Friend has recently been transferred over to UC and said she is slightly worse off and she's been told that she needs to start looking for a job.

Friend told me she has no intention to get a job because she thinks she will be worse off- would this be the case? She also said she is very unlikely to get a job which will match her benefit payments.

I'm really annoyed with her attitude. She basically has no intention to work and would rather just claim. In her case what would the jobcentre do?

I love friend to bits but her laziness is really starting to get to me. Me and DH both work average salary jobs, we don't get any benefits apart from Child Benefit and there are times where I've really envied her life of leisure.

I'm not against anyone who works hard/has disabilities and claims but I really think it's unfair that people like her can choose to be a SAHM and expect to get money handed to her on a plate.

I'm not really sure why I am even posting this but I just needed to rant.

You can get child benefit for more than two children.

Your friend is half right though can't you see its a system issue? Realistically she has a school run to do so unless she finds a job within those hours.. or evening or weekend work part time she likely will be better off. Plus your friend will have all the school hols to cover I cam fully see how people fall onto this trap.

I can hold both thoughts in my head at once—that the Tory government stinks, and also that parents should financially support their children through money earned by working.

Of course, I share this view. It isn’t ’agree with whatever I say or you’re a Tory stooge’

From the description at the top of the Money Matters section: 'Find financial and money saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum'

What has this got to do with any of that?

MNHQ really need to come down on this shit.

I asked for podcast recommendations the other day—that’s me told then! Hopefully MN won’t crack down on me!

Why do you think it's any of your business

Tbh if she’s been out of the workplace for a long time she might be fearful and anxious, I had 8yrs out with my autistic son, going back was scary although I absolutely love my job now and wouldn’t do anything else. \

She needs to ask about courses to help her boost confidence and yes…..the fear of being worse off is very real.

Some people need to educate themselves about Universal Credit and who claims it before they criticise benefit claimants in general.
It is not solely for the unemployed.

I know working with a SNC is more challenging. I did it for 11 years. My Foster Son went to a special school as he needed 1-1 care. He was collected at 8.15 am from home on the minibus and brought back at 3.45-4pm. I worked 7 hours whilst he was out of the house on the minibus or at school. Many councils operate a holiday scheme guaranteed place for DC with special needs. My Foster Son used to go. I know not all councils do this but I managed to work full time. I was a teacher so got school holidays off anyway. Having a salary topped up due to restricted hours because of caring for a disabled DC is very different from claiming over £3000 a month from the state. I'm struggling to think of a disability that costs more than the total of the DLA for a DC? I agree the DLA money should be used entirely on the disabled DC as it belongs to them. I'm afraid lots of parents simply spread it between all their DC so the disabled DC effectively subsidises their siblings.

was it podcasts related to money and your personal finances? Great.

benefit bashing has nothing to do with the OP’s own personal finances so it’s pointless and goady.

I think a lot of people will be shocked when Labour come to power and also have to reduce the benefits bill. They can't magic more money out of thin air. VAT on private education will mean more cost in state education whether they believe it or not because lots of families go without to keep their DC in an independent school savings tax payers millions. Hunt has already grabbed the Non Dom's money now and spent it on reducing National Insurance. Labour will want to spend more on public services. They have already promised to reduce the waiting list for medical appointments. Unless they get more in from increasing tax they too will have to reduce benefits.

My children are grown up now. We only claimed child benefit for the two- well we didn't claim it as such, it was automatic.

Hate this attitude.

This does affect her though if she's a taxpayer.

Lots of people would like to stay at home and get benefits to do so...

That didn't mean they weren't broke. Where I lived in that rose tinted past families with several children and a SAHM (mainly because it wasn't done for women to work) could barely afford to feed their children, as a child all my out grown clothes went to the children living on our street, my mum was the exception and had a job so we could make ends meet (just).

Why have most of you fallen for this? OP hasn’t come back and her post reads very obviously as goady.

There are loads of these types of threads at the moment. MNHQ is taking a look at them all.

I honestly couldn’t be arsed about someone else’s work ethic….you do you…and leave her to it

You still claimed though thats my point.
My children have moved out but i will admit i did claim benefits years ago at one point i had no choice. Thats why i say look at our selfs first before we judge others.
Whether it was automatic or not it was still a benefit and you still claimed it.

Totally agree with you op whether you come back or not. No wonder this country's in the state it's in. If you can't afford to have that many children don't expect someone else to pay!

@ohthejoys21 Millions of benefit claimants work so they are supporting their family.
Sometimes peoples’ circumstances change through no fault of their own. I assume you are someone who sees things in black and white with no grey areas in between.
You could look into the amount of money the Government spends on the long term unemployed and compare it to other expenditure. You might be very surprised. There is some information about government spending upthread which you mustn’t have seen.

Our country is in this dire state because of the Government. Attitudes like yours allows the status quo to continue as nobody questions the actions and decisions of those in power.
Im not blaming you as you can’t have experienced financial hardship due to the actions of others or events /illnesses that prevent you working full time. I’m assuming you also don’t have a disability or a disabled child that you care for the majority of your time. Apologies if I’m incorrect.
The harsh reality for some is that benefit top ups are the only way they can support their family. Many will have previously worked full time or had plans to do so. As I’ve stated before the ones who are playing the system are actually few and far between. It has become much more difficult for healthy adults to sit at home and refuse to work compared to the recent past. Universal credit regulations aren’t kind to people generally.

Thequeenofwishfulthinking I wasn't referring to people who's situation has changed and they find themselves in this situation through something awful happening like illness, sudden disability or redundancy.

I do not believe though for one minute that the ones who are playing the system are few and far between. I personally do have a disability, I don't claim as the money wouldn't make it go away or make a difference.

If I were you I would claim every penny as you are eligible! Life is short. Enjoy and live it to the fullest... buy the cake or dine out some where fancy! Take the money!

She can have a life of leisure for ever but why should the taxpayer pay for it

This. I'm sorry but I agree.