Friend would rather stay on Benefits

[Mavan1984]

Hi everyone

I have a friend who is in her early 40s. She has 5 kids, eldest being 17 and youngest being 4. No disabilities in the family.

Friends husband is on minimum wage and Works about 35 hours a week. Friend is SAHM and has never worked, they have always been topped up by CTC and WTC.

Friend has recently been transferred over to UC and said she is slightly worse off and she's been told that she needs to start looking for a job.

Friend told me she has no intention to get a job because she thinks she will be worse off- would this be the case? She also said she is very unlikely to get a job which will match her benefit payments.

I'm really annoyed with her attitude. She basically has no intention to work and would rather just claim. In her case what would the jobcentre do?

I love friend to bits but her laziness is really starting to get to me. Me and DH both work average salary jobs, we don't get any benefits apart from Child Benefit and there are times where I've really envied her life of leisure.

I'm not against anyone who works hard/has disabilities and claims but I really think it's unfair that people like her can choose to be a SAHM and expect to get money handed to her on a plate.

I'm not really sure why I am even posting this but I just needed to rant.

The system is broken. I don’t blame the people. People in a state of inertia will generally maintain that state unless forced to do otherwise. Human nature.

Personally I maintain better mental wellness by working. I don’t have to work but I choose to because otherwise I hate myself. Working gives me a sense of purpose and my self esteem goes along with that. I also have a community of friends at work. I have a network of people who wouldn’t care about me if I wasn’t there. That enriches my life.

So for me working is something I need to do and don’t walk about begrudging those who aren’t. I think we need to find a way to support the carers and disabled whilst also encouraging the able to be in service and find their community.

But once her child turns five she will need to find work or her benefits will stop.

Also benefits have been capped at two children for about 8 years now. So any children she has under 8 she can't claim for anyway

@Mavan1984

Out of interest have you double checked your benefits entitlement via a benefits calculator such as turn2us?

Might be worth checking if you have middling incomes, especially if you have kids and/or disability.

Regards your friend, minimum wage is a pittance and she has children to care for. She has to do what is financially best for her family.

While she could train to get a higher paying job, this probably isn’t financially feasible for her either.

I am surprised the benefits cap isn’t impacting them to be honest.

Yes you only get the child element for 2 children unless then are born before April 20217. I mentioned this upthread and referred to exemptions which are multiple births and babies that are conceived through sexual violence.
However people will be entitled to extra housing element regarding bedrooms if they rent. There are rules about who is deemed to share a bedroom when calculating the relevant amount of housing element. It is dependent on the childrens lages and sex.
A new baby wouldn’t qualify the family for any more of the child element of UC until the two children rule is applied in the future. There is potential for an increase in the housing element depending on the family’s dynamic.

You have a friend but you do not really sound like a friend if you are writing this about her. Maybe she has depression or anxiety or an illness she has not shared with you.
While I do agree that if you cannot afford to have 5 children then don't have them and expect to be paid by other's taxes. She does not have a life of leisure if she has 5 children as it must be all go all the time.

Worry about yourself and not your so called friend as no one really knows what goes on in other people's lives and you come across as quite bitter.

working when you have a disabled child is more challenging. If your child needs 1:1 care then you can't use childcare unless you can afford a nanny so you can only work at best 930-230 term time only. And then there's the fact that you may need to take time off for your child's medical appointments or if as a lot of Sen children do they end up on a reduced time table. Not many employers willing to offer school hours only on a flexi contract and pay enough to mean you don't need benefits.

And anyway If your child claims dla they have a significant disability. And that money is for your child it's not the parents money.

Just to clarify: I meant that I can't get too worked up about how other people use the benefits system, as long as they're not fraudulent. This person isn't so meh, let her crack on.

The problems in this country are not caused by the lifestyle choices of people on UC. They really aren't.

Can someone explain how benefits work im not stupid but i dont understand it.
So if you have kids you get money for each child how long do you get it for is it until the child is 16 then the benefits stop.

And.

ive heard of tax credits and some get this even when working and child benefit.
If so i dont get why a few people are upset because even if you do work you can still get tax credit and child benefit.
Which is still claiming benefits right so a bit too faced really.

Op i think you need to get on with you own life and let your friend get on with hers.

This kind of thread never goes down well on here Op.

Funny how people who work full time and aren’t entitled to any benefits never seem to be able to afford 5 kids.

YANBU, my sister is the same.

OP posted late last night and hasn’t replied! Probably drowning in booze because her local party were destroyed at the council elections! Just a goady thread to divide and conquer!

I'm sure all these posts about benefits are a poor attempt at whipping up Tory support, and they will all disappear once the election is over

@earther

The majority of people will be entitled to child benefit, which gives about £100 for eldest child each month and slightly less for the second child. It isn’t available for 3rd and beyond children born after 2017, unless a multiple birth or conceived during rape etc.

It’s important to apply for this upon the birth of your child because a) it’s money your child is entitled to b) it gives you NI credits towards your pension if you are out of work taking care of children. And it also ensures you are entitled to a raft of other benefits - for example if your spouse dies young you get a bigger bereavement support payment.

There are sickness benefits such as ESA, PIP and DLA that are not means tested and universal credit which is means tested and encapsulates legacy benefits such as housing benefit, income support etc.

It is your responsibility to find out about what you are entitled to. You can check a benefits calculator such as available on the turn2us website, seek advice from citizens advice and read advice on money saving expert and similar sites.

Thanks i dont have kids to claim for i just didnt understand it so you dont get anything for a 3rd child and all benefits stop when the last child is 5.

@earther

Child benefit paid until 16, and up until 20 if the child continues in education - it is massively incentivised to have children continue education beyond 16.

It’s very important you claim what you are due because it can have knock on effects for other things.

For example a lot of parents don’t get their kids diagnosed for autism/adhd… but if they do they get extra support in school and DLA (provided you fight and fill in paperwork). If you have DLA you get reduced or free entry some places and/or a free carer ticket (again provided you fill in forms). So the child’s life is massively improved and they can go to so much more.

@earther

No.

You get child benefit for max 2 children. 1st slightly more than second up until age 20 if they stay in education.

If you are entitled to means tested benefits you will have child premium payments added until they reach adulthood and then work or claim themselves.

UC also provides payments for childcare which can carry on until the child is mid teens.

And if your child is disabled there will be additional premiums added for this too.

Regardless of whether you have kids, please check the turn2us website, CAB, MSE to review your entitlement.

Now i have been educated it turns out even if you do work you can still get benefits for children.
So on that for them that say get a job and do this that and the other well look at yourself first do you get any benefits at all if so dont talk back to the next when you are claiming something yourself.
Very two faced.

She's probably caught in that trap. You know the one - can't work full time because you have several kids. Part-time work pays shit money, and the hourly rate is lower than the hourly cost of childcare. Everything you earn reduces your benefits by the same amount (or indeed more) and you end up working all those hours for less money than you started with.

Some people accept a crap life with no drive or ambition. I'd personally be bored as anything stuck at home everyday. I really don't understand how people can get out of bed I'm the morning with no real purpose.

@hopscotcher , it certainly is our business if the family are claiming any benefits apart from child benefit because those who pay taxes are paying towards those benefits.

@earther

Well obviously. The government wants to encourage people to have children for future generations and to ensure that kids have their basic needs met.

Regards this friend they have 5 kids and OP may not be privy to their full situation or the position she is in. A very many people do get trapped in the system.

Of course it is her business- but why do WE have to pay for it.

I had 2 children, by choice, because I did not want others to work hard to pay for more. Why do I have to pay for her choices?

Especially when so many people who work so so hard, often several jobs- don't get half of what others are getting on benefits.

And I am NOT right-wing, at all. I want a strong safety net for all- and yet ... there is a limit!

We limited our children to two, we both worked since our youngest boy started school, we never returned to London to live as we knew we could not afford it.

But it's our business too. As we are paying

Do you claim any benefits at all like working tax credits child benefits any top ups.
Just asking not judging.

You're right OP, my sisters next door neighbours cleaners brothers girlfriends hairdressers cousin has 215 children and she gets £38542947532 a week on BENEFITS, they have a FREE council house and they have a BRAND NEW CAR payed for by claiming she has a DISABILITY, she says she has a bad back but she works CASH IN HAND for cirque du soleil on those ribbon things, I' also know she has a SMARTPHONE and watches A FLATSCREEN TV