Hi! I could use some advice. I’m speaking to a Lawyer too but they are very transactional and I would appreciate some direct experience if any one has been in a similar situation.
My partner (37) and I (45) have been living together for 6 years and have 1 child (4). We are late bloomers 😆 and hence are also FTBs in Scotland. We are buying a property right now which is exciting but a little stressful.
My partner is a caring, kind man whom I completely trust not to intentionally do me harm. However he is forgetful and not the greatest with money. He earns substantially less than I do, has some savings (£5k) which he describes as ‘untouchable ‘ and some debt (£6k) which he is aiming to pay off in 1 year.
After tackling a sizeable debt (£33k) and saving up for 13 years (£66k) I’m finally in a position to buy a home and see this as an investment in us. But it is literally all my life savings with no exception . I am fortunate enough to receive an annual bonus in addition to a good salary for what is often a very stressful job involving quite long hours but which I mostly enjoy. I am contemplating putting 100% of this each year into mortgage too to pay it down early.
My partner is very supportive and we pay our bills now (and plan to in future ) pro-rata based on our income ratio - 70:30. Childcare is 50:50 as I do compressed hours and he does mornings and we share evening and weekends.
My dilemma is 2 fold
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if our relationship did breakdown how could I ensure that our shares were recognised as not being equal. A google online suggests a Minute of Agreement might help here to clarify my stake as being larger
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Slightly more muddy… given how late we are starting I wonder if hammering down the mortgage if I’m lucky to keep getting a bonus annually would make sense or (given tax implications and looming pensions crisis) should j put it in my pension. The mortgage is for 23 years but I could potentially pay it down in 13 but it would cost me £244k which would otherwise go into my pension and earn compounded interest. Plus my partner will likely work 7 years on after me and I can envisage this alternative ‘salary sacrifice ‘ leaving me with limited funds to travel and enjoy retirement whilst he earns and spends beyond my means forgetting all the annual top ups I’ll have done.
Worth noting too that my partner has almost no retirement saving so it’s highly likely I’ll need to subsidise our lifestyle later on. Just feeling crazy amount of pressure here as the main earner. I want us to look after each other but I feel a bit like all this weight of financial health and planning is on me.
fyi he did offer to ‘pay rent ‘ and leave his name off the deed but I don’t want that either. I am just very confused about what is for best here. Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences and insights.