He is refusing to sell unless I agree to 5050 split equity.

[whatamess100]

Back story.

We are still married, i want to divorced after the house is sold because I can not afford it until the house is sold, and also, i can't wait the 26 weeks for it all to go through. I need the house gone asap as i can not afford it.

It's jointly owned with around 50k in equity, we both contributed to deposit, but he earned 3 times more than me. He did put more in but not sure in exact figures. He paid the mortgage for 12 months with me, then he left, and he hasn't paid a penny since ive paid it all. We also have a child he pays cm for him.

I've emailed him this morning and informed him i wish to sell but i first need his permission to sell. He said he will only agree to the sale if i agree to 50 50 split of the equity and any less he will not sell so he's got me over a barrel.

I know he is entitled to half for obvious reasons but he is bombarding me with emails trying to get me to agree. I would like more but i was told by the convayancing solictor that its very costly to negotiate , potentially up to 7k to maybe not get that much more and i could be worse off as there is only 50k or less depending on how much it sells for. I was leaning towards just cutting my losss just so i can be free, i probably still will but im so mad that he is behaving like this.
I will call a familly law solictor tomorrow and get an appointment but in the mean time has anybody been though similar? How much did you come out with?

He's offering 50%. You need to go back with a counter offer if you don't wish to accept his original offer .

Make a counter offer then see what he says.

Surely 50/50 sounds right with what you’ve said?

I guess it depends on how long you’ve been paying it solo, but why do you think you’re entitled to more than half?
Not being goady, but wondering what your reasoning is for justifying more than 50%?

Thats a good idea with a counter offer.

We've had the property 3 years this june. I've paid it on my own for 19 months. Its killed me financially.

Thats why I'd like more but realistically i know with only 50k equity in the pot and he does jointly own it.

Is this proposed split of the equity separate from the actual financial settlement on divorce? So pensions etc would come into play at a later stage?

Re the mortgage, have you talked to them about a repayment holiday? That way your STBX loses his leverage over you.

He could argue you owe him rent on his share. It’s not a fight you need and solicitors and court will eat every penny. Split it and walk away.

Is he earning 3x more than you because you enabled his career by carrying and delivering his child and then looking after baby while working in a lesser paid but family friendly job?
What about pension contributions? What about your future ability to provide for children. Has he accounted to make the joint pot fair. He needs to expose his finances anyway during legal negotiations. Good luck but do nothing until you have the advice of a divorce lawyer.

Work out what he should have been paying into the mortgage over the last 19 months (& counting) and start deducting that from his share (whatever they may be. Also any bills or maintenance that have happened in that time.
If he is on the mortgage he is still responsible for paying it.
Sounds like financial abuse and maybe worth contacting something like Woman's Aid for advice.
Might be worth starting divorce proceedings....not sure if you can get any legal aid or similar to help.
Not sure how it works but if he is being difficult over a sale it can be forced by the courts......

He paid more into the depist and you've paid on your own for 19 months, is it a joint mortgage, how did he manage to not pay his share. I'd go for the 50.50 just to save the grief and hassle but only through a solicitor, tell him as you obviously can't agree then it will go through the solicitor which unfortunately will incur costs for both of you, do the mortgage lenders know he hadn't been paying.

Any legal people here who would be able to say if this disparity could be addressed later at the financial separation? So op could agree to 50/50 now but get more later (assuming an unequal split is reasonable).

Good Lord, do not agree to this without consulting a family lawyer. The STARTING point in divorce is a 50/50 split irrespective of who paid for what during the marriage. There are all sorts of reasons why you may well be entitled to more than 50%, such as: you took time off work to care for young children, you earn a lot less than him, etc. No doubt he knows this, hence he's putting the pressure on you now to get a quick deal which may put him in a better position than he'd be in if the split of equity were determined as part of financial relief proceedings.

You need to speak to a divorce lawyer.

Honestly that's a fairly small amount of equity.
Think carefully about fighting for more than 50% if you're going to need solicitors.
I've known several people who spent over twenty thousand in legal fees.

I agree with pp, you don't have enough to fight however if you don't work and have small children then you may get more (or potentially the lot) depending on his pension so worth having that chat before you do anything else.

How long was the marriage? Does he earn more than you purely because he has a better job and career anyway or did your shared child result in you reducing hours/ turning down promotions etc. It’s hard to say what is ‘fair’ without this information. Having said that, with only 50k equity (25k each) as it stands, you’ll soon lose a lot of that fighting through solicitors.

Can you ask for a mortgage payment holiday?

You should sit down and do the sums from the beginning. Work out if he put more down originally if you end up breaking even so should just do it. Longer you are in the house, longer you suffer and more legal bills... so that debt will also keep going up!

If you sell would you get the "interior" e.g. the sofa etc?

Do NOT follow the advice on this thread based on the proportions that each of you have paid in, ie contributions.

This is NOT the approach taken by the court where you have been married (although it is the correct approach for unmarried couples),

For married couples, the key principle is what each of you need, having regard to your obligations (eg caring for child), your other assets, your incomes and your earning capacity. As pp said, the assets include your pensions and the court would look at the reasons behind the financial picture.

This is a really good guide to the whole thing: the Family Justice Council guide to Sorting out Finances on Divorce

https://www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/fjc-financial-needs-april-16-final.pdf

Legally you have paid 'his half' in respect of rent towards him / your being able to live in the house exclusively. 50:50 seems a fair division.

I think i will have to suck it up, i was leaning more to just cutting my losses anyway hes put me through enough already i don't think me MH could take it. Just having any contact with him triggers me so today has been very hard.

I wouldn't contact him or deal with him directly, just pass his emails to your solicitor, tell them you agree to 50.50 and let them deal with it all, you don't need this stress in your life.