I presume that there is a will and your sister is not an executor?
Oops, missed your final sentence!
"i have grant of probate and I’m executor."
If your sister closed the account or took any money out of it after your mother passed away then what your sister has done is illegal, as simple as that. Even if she had power of attorney for your mum before she died, that power comes to an end on the day your mum died.
I'm sure that you don't want to involve the police (although, I don't know your family dynamics) but, from the information you have given, it appears that your sister has stolen the money.
Does your sister have a copy of the death certificate? If so then she may have gone to the bank and simply said, here's the Death Certificate, here's proof that I'm the daughter, now give me the money.
And typically, for most banks in the UK, they will close the account and give your sister the money, unless there's a lot in the account. For example, with Barclays or Lloyds, if you have more than £50k in the account then you will need probate to get the money but not if you have less than £50k.
Alternatively, your sister may simply have transferred your mum's money to her own account and then shut your mum's account.
Either way, if there is a will and she is not an executor then she has simply stolen the money.
As another poster said, I would go along with the death certificate, will and proof of your ID to the bank. I suggest that you inform them that you believe the money was taken fraudulently. They have a team that deals with fraud and theft etc. You will need to find out the balance in the account on the day your mum died.
From there I guess you have two options.
- Go to the police. Rather extreme, but I don't what sort of relationship (if any) you have with your sister
- Once you find out the balance of the account on the day mum died then treat it as an asset of the estate (which it is) that your sister has already received.
In the case of (2) it's probably best explained with an example.
Let's say the house is worth £300k and there was £30k in the bank account. So the total estate is worth £330k. Split this three ways between the siblings (or whatever it is your will says) means that each sibling gets £110k.
How you split that out is up to you as the executor. In this scenario, if your sister has taken the £30k in the bank account then she is only entitled to another £80k from the house.
In turn, you and your other sibling would be entitled to £110k each from the house.
But you really do need to approach the bank, tell them about the fraud and get the balance on the day that your mum died.
Is there a point where I can just say “f it” and force a payment to them whether they like it or not?
No, you can't just say to another person, here's £80k now get out of the house. But what you can do is to get a court order to sell the property, speak to your solicitor about this.