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Original poster

Which would you financially prioritise?

58 replies

Newbie1011 · 08/03/2024 20:20

If you had a substantial savings pot (or the potential to create one by the time you would need it) which of these would you / do you prioritise?

  • savings for you and your partner to have a comfortable retirement
  • private schooling for your children (if this would eat up your savings and make helping your children later on difficult)
  • No private schooling but help for your children while at university and possibly a contribution towards a house deposit for them

It feels to me like if we save as much as I hope to in the next ten years or so, we might be fortunate enough that we could afford one of these things - but not more than that - and I’m curious as to what people would prioritise.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newbie1011 · 09/03/2024 12:48

@Bunnycat101 thanks for this. I don’t have a clear sense of how good our pensions are, we were quite good at saving and paying off our mortgage before kids, but in recent years we have remortgaged to do an extension, and obviously now the mortgage debt costs more, so I wouldn’t want to remortgage again to pay school fees or anything else.
Is anyone willing to put a figure on how much you think is needed in a standard pension pot for it to count as a good amount? Per person?
Sadly I’m talking about modern style pensions - DH and I both missed out on final salary typed pensions!
Similarly I’d love to know how much people expect to spend per year supporting DC at uni.

OP posts:
Heatherbell1978 · 09/03/2024 12:49

Newbie1011 · 09/03/2024 09:00

@Heatherbell1978 sounds like a very similar scenario! I feel the same as you re: moving!
My older DC1 is struggling academically at primary a bit too, even though we really like the school in other ways (she is very happy there, loves learning and has lovely friends and the community is wonderful). I am getting the sense she is a sensitive kid who I fear won’t shine academically unless she is in the right environment and will really struggle in the wrong secondary school- whereas younger DC2 is doing great, seems more robust and like the archetypal ‘bright motivated kid who will do well anywhere’!
When you say you are moving your DS- you mean to a private through school sort of thing? Would you consider sending one child private who they felt needed it more, and not the other? These are exactly the same sort of dilemmas we are pondering!

DS is moving to private school this year - P6 in Scotland (age 10). For similar reasons to you we feel it will be a better environment. DD thrives at school and will probably follow DS to private but not until secondary. We can comfortably afford 1 but 2 becomes a stretch and starts eating into other things - retirement, paying off mortgage etc. So we're trying to focus on DS for now and budget for DD but be open to her going to the local school. Maybe not ideal but knowing DD it might be a fight moving her away from her friends anyway! But obvs we need to be able to offer her the private opportunity and be prepared for it best we can.

Heatherbell1978 · 09/03/2024 13:00

And yes it's a through-school DS will go to. Most private schools are up here, where they have a primary and secondary offering, we don't have many 'prep schools'. Don't have the grammar system up here either do in many ways it's a bit simpler.

HalfwaytotheEnd · 09/03/2024 13:26

there is an (over optimistic probably) part of me that wonders whether we could do B and then rebuild our savings enough ahead of retirement to do a combo of A and C.

We did this, or at least are attemping to do so. Their schooling was fantastic for both kids and has established them personally and academically. One now working in good career with prospects. One still at uni, but we can afford to top up to maximum loan amount, then they work for extras in summer vacation. Hopefully they'll both be able to save for house deposits themselves (though we've helped/will help by giving them accomodation at home again in post-uni years).

Retirement savings now the goal for us, helped by a timely inheritance, downsizing plans and non-luxurious lifestyle.

Blanketpolicy · 09/03/2024 14:07

My priority would be the foundations for ds's future first, then my own future so C (uni/house deposit) and A (pension) in that order.

B (private school) was never a consideration as any challenges/issues we had in secondary school we worked through ourselves.

Not saying it was easy as ds went to a low performing school in the bottom 1/3 of the rankings in Scotland with a very mixed intake, but it was achievable and in some ways he might have gained more from it, whereas C and A need the hard cash and you get more bang for your buck.

CharSiu · 09/03/2024 14:39

@Newbie1011 The one thing I did which is not MN approved was offer cash incentives for results.

He worked from age 13 doing a paper round till 16 when the paper went online only. He then worked as a kitchen porter for a year but I made him give it up in year 2 of his A levels.

That helped him with the apprenticeship application I’m sure. It is absolute graft a full workload in work of FT hours plus lots of study on his days off and some weeks on campus.

Userxyd · 10/03/2024 06:37

B if that was best for DC. Not somewhere too pushy but somewhere with a supportive atmosphere that helps develop them and gives the best extra curricular opportunities.

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