AIBU

[Dkremmy]

Hey,

my parents are 72 &. 73. A few of years ago they took out a loan for my brother to allow him up buy a car. It was agreed that they would take the loan, but that brother would make the payments. This was fine for the first two years however last autumn my brother had some mental health Issues/breakdown and some money issues. I’ve discovered that our dad told him not to worry about the loan payments and he would make them on his behalf to help him out. I’ve only just discovered this.

im not happy that dad is making these payments for His adult child, and I’ve made this clear. Dad thinks I’m BU as he just wants to help. WDYT??

How is it your business what your parents do with their money? Do you regulate their weekly shop, their holiday budget?

What on earth does it have to do with you? Your parents can spend their money however they like!

why is it your business what your parents do with their money. Do your children review your bank statements?

Your brother had a mental breakdown, of course your father is going to help him. If you found yourself in your brother’s position your father would help you too.

YABU. If your brother has had a breakdown then it's reasonable for a parent to help out.

Whether you should have slice of the action too, or whether the money is to be treated as an advance on what he might get on his parents' death is a different angle.

Yabu! It's none of your business what goes on between your brother and your parents.......why should it be?

Grow up. Your dad is helping him out in a time of need. Nothing to get jealous about.

I just don’t want them to be taken advantage of

But what makes you think they're being taken advantage of? Are they still mentally capable of making decisions? Because if so, helping out one of their children seems like a very natural decision that a lot of people make if they are financially able to do so.

As a parent, if you are able to help your child, surely you do. He’s done nothing wrong. It sounds like jealously, which is a bit sad given the circumstances that caused your Dad to need/want to step in and help with this.

Goodness, it's absolutely nothing to do with you. Why on earth should you have been told anything? Your parents finances are not your business, nor how much help they give their son who is struggling. You are saying 'I've only just discovered this' as though it affected you in any way.

You sound bossy and interfering.

YABU. If your brother was blowing all his money on drugs then that's another issue, but for a mental breakdown I'd have no issues if my parents did this for my sister.

Your parents are only in their 70s, so unless there is a drip feed they have dementia, then I don’t think they are being taken advantage of.

Would you want your brother to have the stress of the payments if there was something you could do to help him out? I certainly wouldn’t, I live my family and would help them to the best of my ability. I’m not sure if you have children, but how would you feel if this was your son?

Are your parents on the breadline, is that why you are worried? Do you think these payments will put them at risk?

Good grief, if they can afford it what's the problem. Your brother's been ill and it was something they could help him with.

A touch of the green eyes monster??

YABVU if your parents can afford it and are perfectly capable of making decisions then it's none of your business.