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Share the bonus

18 replies

curlycurlymoo · 18/02/2024 12:53

Regular poster but name changed as possibly outing.
My husband and I share all our finances. Into one pot. All bills come out of there. Never any issues. Every year he gets a bonus. It's always been about £2500. He puts this into our savings. The only money we ever really put a claim on is any birthday or Christmas money we receive. Our savings pot has dwindled over the past few years. Nursery bills and had work done to the house. All fine. However, I suggested having a nice holiday abroad this year. He didn't really commit to anything. He's told me that his bonus this year is £4500 before tax. No idea how much he will actually take home. He wants a new laptop. He's told me today that it's £2200 for a new one. I said well that's the holiday out the window then. He said we can do both. But use the last of our savings to pay for the holiday. I'm not really happy about using the rest of the savings. Plus the cost keeps going up and up of the holiday. Am I being mean by asking to have the money for a holiday? He hardly ever has anything for himself so I feel bad about it all. I'm not in a job where I can receive bonuses. What I get is what I get. So what's the right thing to do here? Let him have the laptop and then just have a cheap holiday in the uk?

OP posts:
ZebraPensAreLife · 18/02/2024 12:55

What does he need the laptop for? £2200 sounds pretty expensive - could you meet halfway and he gets a cheaper laptop, you get a cheaper holiday?

Feb123 · 18/02/2024 12:59

I’d definitely want him to have the laptop. don’t know if that makes me wrong but I always want others to have what they want. My happiness comes from giving to others

Blanketpolicy · 18/02/2024 13:00

If you genuinely share finances the source of the money is irrelevant - it is a normal discussion about you preferring a holiday and him preferring a laptop and coming to a compromise.

westisbest1982 · 18/02/2024 13:03

Just have both, as you say. Then a nicer holiday next year? I think the bonus would be £3K after deductions, maybe a little more. I wouldn’t use any savings. But £2.2K is a hell of a lot of money for one laptop - could it be a MacBook Pro he’s got his eye on?

GrumpyPanda · 18/02/2024 13:04

Sounds like he wants a higher-end business laptop. Get him to take a look at what's available refurbished, it's often these very machines.

Agree it's reckless to let your savings dwindle to zero. What would you do gor a roof repair, put it on credit card?

Dogknowsbest · 18/02/2024 13:05

I would say if he needs the laptop for work that takes priority. Anything left over can go towards holiday.

BaroqueInterlude · 18/02/2024 13:06

If he's on 40% tax the laptop might swallow all the bonus money. Is it a Mac he is looking to buy - seems dear for any other kind of laptop? Is his old laptop knackered? Could he look at a reconditioned laptop if he has a particular one in mind?

shepherdsangeldelight · 18/02/2024 13:14

How much money does he normally spend on stuff for himself? How much money do you spend on stuff that's just for yourself?

If you're wanting to build up savings, then laptop or not, planning a holiday where the costs "keep going up and up" is probably not the best idea anyway.

curlycurlymoo · 18/02/2024 14:39

Not a Mac but a gaming laptop? I really don't know. I do want him to have it. He's said that he wants a holiday and he will wait for the laptop. But I just feel bad that he does work really hard and isn't having what he'd really like. A refurb one is a good idea though. I'll suggest that to him.

OP posts:
curlycurlymoo · 18/02/2024 14:40

Basically the bonus would pay for the holiday and not go into the savings. Whereas as both would which I'm not happy about. What if something happened as an emergency? The boiler, car, roof?! So I feel like it's one or the other.

OP posts:
Growlybear83 · 18/02/2024 14:41

I would want my husband to use his bonus money on the laptop, and if whatever is left over isn't enough for the holiday you want, and you haven't got enough savings left, pay for it on a credit card.

JaninaDuszejko · 18/02/2024 14:47

I think since he gets a yearly bonus a discussion should be had about him spending it on himself vs on the family. Maybe on the family one year and himself the next? Depends what it is as a percentage of his overall pay.

PickledOnionsRodger · 18/02/2024 15:15

I vote for the laptop and potential cheaper holiday. If he always uses the bonus for the family, why not let him buy the laptop? It's unlikely he'll be able to get one otherwise. He has probably thought about refurbished or a cheaper one himself, and decided this is what he wants. Do you worry he might feel resentful if he isn't allowed to buy the laptop?

curlycurlymoo · 18/02/2024 15:50

I do agree with you all. I think he deserves it. It just felt like our only chance for a nice holiday. But I think needed someone else to tell me.

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 18/02/2024 16:02

Gaming laptops seem a waste as very hard to upgrade compared to a gaming pc that is very upgradable!

curlycurlymoo · 18/02/2024 19:14

He's always had a gaming laptop. This one is very very old. No space for a pc.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 18/02/2024 19:18

curlycurlymoo · 18/02/2024 19:14

He's always had a gaming laptop. This one is very very old. No space for a pc.

Under something?

missmollygreen · 18/02/2024 19:53

He should get the laptop, he puts his bonus into the family pot every year!

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