grateful for what we have but depressed we’ll never have more.

[HeadsShouldersTitsandArse]

I can’t stop thinking about the fact we will never be comfortable, we will never have spare income.

and it feels so selfish because we’re in a better position than a lot of people. We both have jobs, we have a mortgage (albeit shared ownership) and we can put food on the table.

but we can’t actually afford anything above the bare necessities. We don’t go on holiday, we don’t go for days out. We have the odd fast food ect and sometimes if we have enough fuel on the weekend we’ll go to the park or out to soft play.

I just really hoped that one day we would built a better life. But I’m scarily close to 30 now and I feel like my life isn’t going anywhere. I feel like I’ve hit our financial peak and this is it for us. I wanted savings, I wanted something to leave for our children one day. But it won’t happen and it feels like my insides are being chewed up. I just wanted better. I’m grateful for what we do have, I’m just sad that this is as good as it will get for us.

This is what I did too, changed jobs fairly frequently, each one a step up with more money.

You do realise as a home owner at 20 you were years ahead of the average age. Not sure why you think you are badly off when you are in a family home before the age of 30. It sounds like you are actually in a really good position. Think the average first time buyer is early 30s now isn't it ?

At 29 I was in a house share, with £1000 savings to my name (a result of a very fun 20s full of irresponsibility). I'm early 40s now and my Financial position is vastly better. Not sure why you have written yourself off at 30.

It sounds like your are in the midst of the hardest times with childcare costs, but these won't be forever. Perhaps retraining is something you can do when the children are older. If money is tight it's because you've bought a home and had children younger than is average these days, but then your peers may encounter these costs later down the line but you'll already be set up well with buying a family home and childcare costs behind you.

You're in your 20s and with young children? That's definitely not the peak of your financial comfort. There will be lots of time in your 30s and 40s to earn more, with lower outgoings.

I am confused at this- surely you know most of your contemporaries didn't buy a house at 20, or have a second property at 30?

I agree, get off social media, delete TicTok and all those apps. Start reading books, enhance your life in different ways, this is doing you no good at all.

I am just hitting my financial peak in my early fifties by the way, having had a roller coaster career.