Please tell me how you spend £100-150k Incomes

[AkaWho]

I know I am in a very fortunate position to be in this band with my income.
At the moment I basically put anything over £100k in pension, but the increase in living costs is meaning I am spending most of my monthly post-tax income on just living:
Mortgage, bills, petrol and car costs, DC hobbies, gym and pt, the bloody grocery shop! Oh and holidays just seem to be more expensive too. I do have some savings and a DH who also earns/contributes but we were planning on private school for DC in a couple of years and sure we can afford it I just hate the thought of the amount of tax I lose for every £1 over £100k which means for a £20k a year school I could basically have put £50k in my pension.
Do I just have to get over this if I decide on the school fees being worth it? Is there any better way of doing things? Do others with the same salary also feel squeezed? Agreement with DH is my excess income (where exists) goes to school fees and his goes to overpaying the mortgage.
Please don't crucify me, I know I am in a fortunate position and also that there are state school options if I really can't stomach it. I just never thought I would be in a position where I need such a high salary (mainly big mortgage plus the interest rate increase, but also don't deny my family or myself anything)

I think you need to read the room a bit by describing yourself as feeling squeezed financially. I’m on £75k and recognise this is a very privileged position to be in currently and I can confirm we aren’t feeling the squeeze…

Im sure if privately educating your child is so important to you you’ll make it work…

It’s all relative. Given my profession I know people on FAR less who put their children through private school. Sometimes it pays other times it doesn’t, if your bright you don’t need it and if your super bright you’ll get scholarship.

What are the local schools like? DD goes to a Catholic state school. Could you move to access a better education?

We have a household income of £120k. Just like any household income, if you don't track your outgoings you'll end up in the shit. And you have to check your spending matches your values/life.

We got to the point where we couldn't understand why we didn't have money for things our friends seemed to, even when we earned so much (neither of us come from money).

We went through our spending, and on paper cut everything bar the essentials (mortgage, utilities, childcare, food etc). We then looked at the pot that was left and decided how to spend it. We realised that actually where our money was going was exactly where we wanted it to - we help our parents out with their mortgages, we pay for services that maximise our time out of work to be with our kids because they're very little (gardener in summer, cleaner, ironing done every week, dog walker once a week etc), and we do a lot of hosting over celebrations like birthdays/christmas/easter.

It doesn't leave much for holidays, which you'd think we would be having lavish ones on our wages but actually we prioritise the money elsewhere - maximising our ability to be spending time with family, friends and our kids. When our kids are in school I can work 5 days a week instead of compressed hours which I do now to minimise their days in childcare - that'll free me up to do more round the house, and reduce the "services" that we use now. That money will then go on something else like holidays etc.

We now go through our budget every year, and it makes a big difference to how we feel about our money and our choices. I don't feel as envious of friends going on holidays we can't afford because instead I feel happy with our choice to be mostly home based with our small children.

We had a joint income over 100k, but then DHs health spectacularly failed him, through no fault of his own, and now we're considerably less well off.

We like the local state schools so never did private. We have always been quite cautious with our expenditure, and it has helped cushion us for change in income.

I think the £100k lifestyle is more of a £250k lifestyle now I'm afraid. Just cut your cloth accordingly or pay the tax I'm afraid. We earn more than that but think twice about a Starbucks - we have 2x private school fees so it's an expensive time. We absolutely do save into our pensions though as much as possible.

So sorry to hear about your DH. My health is not great and could fail more at any point but I have been lucky for the past ~15 years since being diagnosed with a chronic condition that I can still work and it hasn't been an issue the twice I have needed to take a few weeks out for surgeries. It plays at the back of my mind though and I am paying more into my pension with the idea that I will need to retire early-ish (certainly won't be working until I am 70, which wouldn't give me many years of life expectancy for someone with my condition)

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
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How many DC do you have? Are you planning to send them to private school for primary as well as secondary?

I would strongly suggest just secondary on that income or moving to a place with good secondary or grammar.

We earn around the same amount as you and just thought it would be too risky with private education added in. We live down south, mortgage etc plus the private schools locally are pricey.

One DC currently in year 4 at a nice village primary which is fine. We were thinking of one of the nearby independents for secondary due to class size and the local comp not being amazing but it also isn't terrible.
Another option would be the nearest catholic secondary which is better than our closest comp but quite far and across a city with lots of traffic and so I have discounted as would either be a long time on the bus or in the car.
We will look at all the options and unless finances change due to job loss or similar will likely send them to the indie. We have enough savings for about 3 years of fees and plan to save towards the future fees for the next few years (so I will take the advice you lovely people have given me and create a budget to make this possible!) so it's not a huge shock to the system but then also wonder about how much we should have in non pension savings and don't want to spend it all.

I think the £100k tax cliff edge is really bloody sneaky that your marginal rate goes from 40% to 60%. We therefore put everything above into pensions but it is quite galling - I would love to take the bonus as cash but cannot justify it.

I don’t think a lot of people on lower salaries realise the impact of this eg someone on 150k doesn’t have 3 times the take home pay of someone on 50k. Not to say they don’t have a v comfortable income, but it isn’t necessarily as big a jump as you might expect.

We have 2DC so if we just had 1, private school may have been an option

I just don't get it. My husband earns 125 (I'm doing not so great with my own business so my money doesn't count at the min) and we are NOT struggling and we live in London. Something is amiss if you think it's a stretch on that wage!

How many kids do you have in private school?

@user143777534 12

I think a lot of people would really appreciate your budget breakdown then 😅

Could you get a weekend or evening job with deliveroo to boost your income?

Oh, and cut back on the tattoos. They're just so expensive.

@user143777534 Sorry for being a dick, I'm a bit tipsy. No I have non in private school but my husband wants our kids to go. I don't really care but weve done the maths and we wouldn't struggle if we did. I just don't personally see the point so it will be a discussion for a few years

@fuckssaaaaake I didn’t think you were being a dick. It made me laugh 😁

But I’m really surprised (but pleased for you) that you wouldn’t struggle.

@user143777534 I guess maybe we don't do much that's fun (costs a lot😂)

I earn a bit more than you @AkaWho but I posted earlier in the week looking for help with my budget. I got some great, useful responses that have helped me to refine my budget. Here’s my thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/money-matters/5006410-budget-help?page=7&reply=133041836

So the issue here is yet another thing the Tory's have rogered on purpose, ie tax allowances and frozen thresholds. It's in the same basket of stupidity as the Child Benefit clawback over £50k, and the fact that so many moderate earners now pay 40% tax on income from ordinary jobs. When you hit £100k income, HMRC clawback your persons allowance at a rate that swallows the whole thing around £122k. The effect of this is an effective tax rate of 60% on that portion of your income. Then it drops back to 40%, before going up to 45% at £150k.

But don't worry, Rishi and his family of billionaires take their pay as capital gains so get away with paying between 20-25% on the lot. So remember that on voting day. You're paying high tax on your salary so that people like the Prime Minster and his wife can protect their fortune.

Direct your anger at them, not the people paying 60% tax.

Same here. Great income but no way enough for private school.

To answer OP question, our c£160k household income goes on

Mortgage (200k outstanding)
Pension & savings
Bills (not excessive)
Holidays c£20k/yr
Food, high quality & largely unbudgeted
Kids clubs & hobbies
Dog care
Cleaner
Gym
Uncensored spending in coffee shops, books for the kids, clothes etc

Income of about £160k pre-tax.

Mortgage free.

No car.

No holidays because of elderly dog.

No kids.

Bills etc. total about £15-20k per year.

The rest goes into pension, savings and investments - about £70k per year.

MN is a very strange place. Who are all these people who struggle to manage on £75k+ salaries when other people have incomes so low they can barely afford a loaf of bread? I despair sometimes.

My heart bleeds for you, it truly does