How do people do it? Can’t afford mortgage

[MonsterTrunk]

Hello,

We are a family of three - DH, myself and our 3 year old.

So our current income is just under £50k with DH working full time and me part time. Our current mortgage Rate runs out this year and it was £900 a month and current rates are around £1300 a month. With energy rates and petrol and food and savings as we need a new roof we’re okay at the moment but that loss of £400 is going to make things very tight. Very very. As I I don’t know if we will be able to afford it.
The answer would be me working full time but then we have to pay for childcare - we have no family to help so I’d have to pay for before/after school club and holiday care, so the extra money would possibly be gone.

What do people do? The mortgage rates are a killer. We’re going to go through everything and tighten where we can and will hopefully be okay, but this situation is just awful. I didn’t realise the jump would be so high. We’ve been very lucky with our last mortgage and I realise that now.

These are potential options, I’ll investigate.

We’ve been very lucky with our last mortgage and I realise that now.

Just wanted to say you haven't been "very lucky" with your previous mortgage, houses are now the most unaffordable they have been since 1876 so actually the timing is just very unlucky. Appreciate this doesn't help, but you're not alone in this shitstorm - I feel for you and hope you manage to figure it out

You should get the full child benefit as it is based on the highest earner not the household income.

Could you extend the term of your mortgage to reduce payments for a short while?

I’ve seen some free subsidised courses by the government so I’ll look at them. But to move is several thousand in fees and stamp duty. I guess you take it out of the sale of the house?

We are probably going to need to extend our mortgage term when we come to remortgage (2026). We currently have two - 1.49% and 1.63% - which I appreciate we are very lucky! And we have 15 years left. We pay nearly £1600 a month (overpay £200). DH is probably going to lose his job in a couple of years so we will be extending the term to lower repayments.
I hope it all works out.

Hoplolly · Today 10:56
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Speak to your mortgage lender about options, if on repayment you could go interest-only or extend the term further which will reduce the payments.”

Absolutely this. Most lenders are sympathetic atm. They really don’t want to see people losing their homes (or their money!)

I get this now - I don’t understand financial stuff very well, so I thought it was combined.

Yes I didn’t know this was an option, I’ll investigate and see if it’s possible.

Can you type? Maybe a night owl role, evening document processor?

People do it by either earning more, having family help, being able to buy a cheaper property etc etc.

Don’t focus on other people and how they do it, try and work out how you can get through this time when your children are very young and the associated childcare costs of working more hours.

Agreed. Ask to push the term out to as long as possible.

It's so difficult, isn't it

The problem is that interest rates were artificially low, which lulled everyone in to a false sense of security, and people maxed up to their limits

Yes. I applied for a job doing typing but they never responded to me. I should look for some more roles.

Even a NHs band 3 HCA role is 23k (under paid) plus shifts. Maybe look at something like that so you can work evenings/weekends. If you go for a bank contract you could do Monday-Friday term time and weekends only over the holidays 2x13 hour shifts to give you 24hours.

You go up to full time hours to make sure you earn the most income you can and then childcare costs drop and you have a higher disposable income.

Or you can get a job at a pub you like locally - a couple of shifts a week if possible and you’re still in bed at a relatively sensible time.

Childminding on the days your off with your children? Think you can have up to 6 children under 8 but you do need to do some courses which will cost you

Take in ironing

Get a side hustle on Etsy

Do the dreaded surveys alongside any of the above and as others have said vinted etc

We both work full time too, but DH starts earlier than me so I do school drop off and then he finishes earlier so picks up from the childminders - this way we pay around £20 a day for after school care. I also finish early one day a week so can pick them up ourselves.

Now they're both in school (7 and 4) we only take 1 week off together at Christmas and another week together for a family holiday, the remainder of our annual leave is split across the school hols, and the kids go into holiday clubs only once or twice a week - budgeted for year round, they're usually around £35 a day each here but can be paid for using tax free childcare so reduced to £28 each.

It sounds like your mortgage is quite high, is moving area not an option? We are in the NE where although our salaries aren't amazing, our mortgage on a 4 bed detached house is only £180k so we currently pay £750 a month and this will increase in the new year to around £1000 with 25 years to go. I'd take the lower salary/house prices over slightly higher wages/Much higher housing costs any day!

Exactly. Deal with the root cause which is the mortgage itself, trying to earn money via Vinted or car boot sales is temporary and never going to earn you a fortune. Retraining takes years.

Agency work so you do it as and when ?

I had to extend my mortgage until I am 73 however I get a lump sum with my pension so I can it off before then when I retire. Do you have that option?

@MonsterTrunk The child benefit pay back for earning over 50k isn’t on joint wages, it is on one. So as you work part time and together you bring in just over 50k, I guess your husbands wage is less than 50k. So won’t lose any of the child benefit.

Somone in my village has elected to use the ‘put a tarp on it’ school of roof repairs. It’s too costly to fix.

In terms of other things:

Get an evening/overnight second job. Shelf stacking and displays at shops style stuff if what my friend did. No need for childcare as the other parent was with the child overnight.

Remove all days out that aren’t free (including transportation).

Shop cheap and access community pantries for vegetables and bread. There will be one near you.

Meal plan around the Aldi super six (though this isn’t always cheapest now - you need to get well acquainted with all pricing) and what you can get on yellow sticker.

For older kids - ask school whether there is any uniform going spare.

Get on local swap/free sites. If you can’t find it on them, you can’t have it.

Books, board games and toys come from libraries or ‘free to take’ boxes outside houses.

Never turn your nose up at anything. It’s have in the past picked up dumped kids clothes (they were essentially fly tipped), washed them and used them. It was great - they were Boden and other names!

Central heating is start of Dec to end of Feb only. Outside that you need hot water bottles and fake Primark Oodies.

Take out doesn’t exist.

Exercise is via Joe Wicks on YouTube, cycling, going hiking or wild swimming.

If you don’t/aren’t likely to need it - sell it.

It gets better when you don’t pay nursery fees anymore. They’re crippling. A childminder is often cheaper.

Ignore me, I see people have already said the same!

What work do you do? Can you look for a higher paid roles in your sector (if they exist?)? Can you work a shift at the weekend and you DH watches DC? Could bring in a few hundred extra pounds a month.

claim all child benefit, use taxfree childcare vouchers and 30 funded hours. Can you afford one more day at nursery?

OP I feel like you and DH really need to read up properly on everything:

• you didn’t know you could claim full child benefits
• you didn’t use 30 hours as you thought you could bank them

you are losing money by not being informed properly.

Oh love, it's so hard.
I'm really not trying to sound unkind but you don't sound super savvy with money, have you got a friend or relative who is, who could look at everything with you? It sounds like you've got in a muddle with the funded hours and the child benefits, so there could be other stuff you've missed out on?
I'd try to get an evening job in the local takeaway or pub a couple of nights a week, and get DH to do the same.