Budget help

[Sarabudgetly]

Created a new username for this.

I’m terrible at budgeting and have generally managed to get away with it by earning a high salary. But I’ve resolved to get a handle on my finances this year after getting stung with a few tax bills recently and my DD starting private school in September. I earn £160k and my income is £7,600 pcm after all deductions including pension, critical illness cover and PMI. I get bonuses but I haven’t factored these in as they are discretionary. This year’s bonus will be used to pay my tax bill.

I don’t have any savings and I don’t have much left over each month, sometimes I am in my overdraft. This is stressful and in the last year I’ve had to borrow money from parents on a short term basis to cover unexpected bills (such as my roof falling in). Everything else just gets paid from my salary when the bill lands.

This budget reflects my everyday life without making any dramatic changes. I appreciate that I earn a lot but, putting that aside, looking at my budget are there any areas for obvious savings? What aspect of my budget seems unrealistic or wasteful to you? I have friends who earn much less but seem to have bigger homes and a better quality of life. Admittedly, they do not send their children to a private school so probably just have more disposable income.

My mortgage (£1,700pm) is paid from my contribution to the joint account. My husband is on a much lower salary but also contributes towards our mortgage and pays for our car (a 3 year loan of £360pm we are repaying to parents), food shopping, fuel, utilities and other clubs for our DD. He also doesn’t have a lot left over each month.

Thanks everyone, the tough love is helping. I am starting to see that I’m a bit precious and resistant to change.

To address a few comments -

• Cleaning - this is 3hrs because it includes ironing. I just don’t have time to iron)
• private schooling is a non-negotiable. I haven’t factored in the 20% VAT increase but I do get regular pay rises and bonuses and ultimately, I would rather not holiday abroad and cover school fees instead.
• Contingencies - I think DH pays for insurance and MOT.
• NT and Farm - the farm is Willows Farm, which is fab for a 5 yr old. We go probably twice a month, more during school holidays. I agree days out can be cheaper. It’s never occurred to us to just bring a packed lunch.

Well done on getting all that into a spreadsheet.

Are you willing to do a combined one with DH? I find it strange when families don't combine incomes but each to their own. A joint budget for the essentials would at least mean you're sure it's fair. Are you positive he doesn't have huge debts, or large savings?

I would recommend reorganising your figures into :
Basic essentials - mortgage, utilities, insurances, basic food and groceries, commuting costs
Savings
Then order by whatever is most important to you, this could be private school fees or nice holidays or daily coffee. Your money your choice.

Then you simply need to tally up and see where your money runs out. You can change the order or the value of items to suit.

I agree that we do spend too much on takeaways. The other nights when we’re not eating takeaways we eat Cook and Charlie Bingham meals, filled pasta or frozen pizza - I haven’t included those in the budget as DH does the food shopping. I won’t ask DH to cook as he doesn’t want to and I think he does his bit by doing the food shop. Left to my own devices, I would either eat toast or cereal or not eat at all.

I won’t ask DH to vacuum or switch to fortnightly cleaning because he has enough of a job tidying up after me and DD. He has nicknamed us “Bomber 1” and “Bomber 2”. DH also does dishes and laundry. I don’t really tidy or clean but deal with delicate/hand wash only laundry.

@Alwayslookonthebrightside1 i pay 3% into my pension and employer pays 5%. I then pay around £400 in critical illness cover as I’m the main earner and PMI.

50/30/20 method I find helpful- 50% needs, 30% towards wants and 20% towards savings/investment its usually a good starting point for budgeting

I’ve had a go at this. Im on 65% needs, 30% wants and 5% savings. I can’t adjust the needs but there’s definitely room to adjust the wants to increase the savings!

A grown man who can’t cook but can manage a job? I call bs - my 11 year olds can make pesto pasta!

anyway, packed lunches/slow cooker on for long work days and take a picnic for family days out.

I asked DH if he could tell me what his expenditure and income is so we can have a household budget and he said he was happy with his side of things and had £100 left to go into savings each month 🤷‍♀️

I popped out and bought some bread rolls and ham to make a work lunch for tomorrow and I’m going to see if I can tolerate the free coffee from the machine at work instead of the one from the coffee shop. Next on my list is to download YNAB and get onto MSE.

Your posts have helped me to see that the amount I spend on “wants” doesn’t reflect how much I value them. I would rather be putting that money away to create a savings cushion and get some financial stability.

Thank you all for your measured responses . I was expecting a right bollocking as I’m a high earner but you have all been kind and fair.

Oh and “classes, vits and supps” is a huge indulgence - it’s personal training and weight loss related supplements.

He cooks for DD (eg pesto pasta) but can’t/won’t do much beyond that.

I actually think it’s the school fees that are blowing your budget the most. That’s an awful lot to spend for a 5 year old’s schooling. Cheaper private options are probably available…at half the price you are paying?

You don't need classes, bits and shops. Just used your gym membership and work out on your own.

You certainly don't need takeaway twice a week and at £120 each time what on earth do you eat? If you are paying for whole family why does it not come from joint account?

Your holiday does not need to cost £7k a year. Again why are you paying the whole cost? Surely it's a joint expense. Do a Eurocamp or a couple of cheaper city breaks.

Also you are paying £1700 to your joint account. What's that for?

You could take your lunch 3 times a week. No need to eat out every day. Just take a sandwich and fruit and buy a coffee some days.

£100 make up and toiletries are really high. £10 a week should suffice. That allows you to replace something every month as you use things up.

You seem to be paying for everything like the cleaner. What does your partner pay for?

Look at your spreadsheet. What can you do without or cut back.

Hi OP we are both high earners DH £180k and I'm around your range. We have to just plan in advance!! We discuss food together, if I'm working late he'll grab some jacket potatoes and get them going if he's home first with the kids.

I also make things like tomato pasta sauce (literally a good tin of toms, oregano, basil, salt, pepper, crushed garlic, olive oil and quarter of a teaspoon of sugar) works as a pitta bread pizza topper, or a quick tom pasta sauce you can have salad with, throw a run on tuna in....

Air fryers are brill! I can quickly chop some chicken and quickly marinade it - then we and kids have it with wrap/cheese salad.

Anyway you get my drift.

Snoop is great, I'd advise you to consider an IFA too just for some retirement planning

Also even my Foster Son with learning disabilities can get out the slow cooker, put a prepared pack of carrot sticks, a pre prepared pack of onions, three handfuls of frozen peas and throw in 6 pork steaks, crumble a couple of stock cubes, pour in a tin of chopped tomatoes and add some water. Switch it on in the morning and leave until evening. I'm sure either you or DH could manage this. It takes about 5 minutes if you have ingredients in. It makes a tasty meal for the evening. Put a jacket potato on with it in the microwave and finish off in an air fryer to crisp the skin. Do you have a slow cooker and an air fryer? If not I'd be getting them. The above meal would cost you about £8 for 3 people. That would save you over £100 on a takeaway meal.

Also do you have a soup maker? Put a chopped onion, 1/2 teaspoon of olive oil, a bag of chopped carrot and swede, 2 chopped potatoes, handful of frozen peas, tin of chopped tomatoes. Press cook and blend to make soup. Full of vitamins so you won't need to take vitamin tablets. Cost about £0.50 a portion. Take some to work in a flask.

Couple of things that might help

I use skin and me not dermatica but then I use a cheaper cleanser - depends what toiletries/makeup you usually buy but I think you could cut that down, I have a few budget faves

Haircut - I have curly hair and found a curl specialist actually better and he recommends I only go every 6 months, might be worth checking out ones in your area

Quidco for cashback. And when you're buying stuff like toiletries then use Quidco, look for offers and shop in the sales. So if I see my fave mascara is half price I buy it even if I don't need it right that week

Food - Jamie Oliver ministry of food. Get some Pyrex meal prep dishes for batch cooking
Make use of the easy ready prep stuff too - rotisserie chicken, frozen veg, frozen mash, all that kind of stuff
I had a salad this week that was really good - frozen sweet potato chunks in the air fryer, rotisserie chicken, salad veg, bit of grated Parmesan and some dressing

If you've got Instagram

boredoflunch (air fryer and slow cooker food)
dontgobaconmyheart (comfort food, batch cooks and freezes well)

Your spending is similar to mine lol

You need to be ruthless about cancelling the subscriptions you don't need instead of thinking they're only small amounts so they don't matter; in the case of trying to reduce your expenditure and increase your savings, everything matters!

If you cancel Disney + tomorrow, you'd save almost £100 per year.

You could reduce the cleaner to once a fortnight instead of weekly just for 3 months, and you'd save almost £300. Yes it will be messier/dirtier than usual, but it's only 3 months.

Takeaways could be reduced to once a week, or even once a fortnight, and you'd save a good chunk there.

Think about whether you really need Uber, travel, station parking; think about whether DH could drop you to the station a couple of times a week instead and pick you up?

Coffee lunches toiletries and makeup could be cut back too.

Next month, I'd put £1,000 away before any other expenditure, and behave as if you haven't got it, and cut down spending that way.

OP, is willows farm the Peter rabbit themed place? If so, it’s fab but you’d save so much taking a packed lunch - it’s eye wateringly expensive and I didn’t think was that great to warrant the price 🤷🏼‍♀️
Also, you might be happy with cook/frozen pizza etc and you might think that doing the food shop is enough for your DH without also having to cook but you have a DD who needs a decent diet, so something has to give on that front IMO. As PP has said, the slow cooker takes 5 minutes and will cost a fraction of that.
Interested which private school it is - I know of 2 fairly close to Willows Farm, one at thar price and anothsr which IME is just as good but slightly cheaper because really it’s the fees eating your budget up - and they’re just going to get more as your DD gets older

Of course your DH won't engage. He is living a very luxurious lifestyle on 35k

You would probably find way more value in eating out less/ dropping the takeaways and eating home prepared meals than a personal trainer.

You and your DH need to start meal planing and cooking.

Try tamingtwins website for really easy slow.cookee or 15 minute meals.
But the green roasting tin book for tasty, very easy tray to table dinners.

I asked DH if he could tell me what his expenditure and income is so we can have a household budget and he said he was happy with his side of things and had £100 left to go into savings each month 🤷‍♀️

Hmm.
So, you’re the higher earner and work long hours to facilitate that.

He

Can’t cook/won’t cook - so you need to buy takeaways/convenience food (or use your free time to batch cook, this is still a cost on you/your time).

Won’t tell you his income/expenditure, and isn’t interested in being a team financially (but benefits from your salary for holidays, leisure spending on theatre, date nights inc babysitting.)

Has a civil service job and therefore the best salary scheme available whereas you’re only contributing 3% to a pension and spending £000s more than that on private school.

If he has leftover money to save, and you contribute savings on your spreadsheet, why are you borrowing money off your parents?

Your financial life as a couple doesn’t seem very balanced as is, and should (god forbid) anything happen to cause a marriage breakdown you’re actually in a bit of a vulnerable position as the higher earner. You do need general oversight of your finances as a team and I don’t think he should get to say he won’t discuss it. The flip side of this is obviously that then he might also say ‘hang on you spend how much on the vitamins etc.!’ so there’s that!

(If private schooling is non negotiable throughout your DC’s education 5-18 you both need a robust promotion strategy - your DH needs to earn more.)

The point about saving for a new car is well made. You really shouldn't have needed to ask parents to help out with that at your income level.

Also these unexpected tax bills, what are they? Are you not PAYE?

I also agree you need to recatagorise your budget.
Financials (life assurance/critical illness etc)
Savings
Pension
Utilities (you need to get this from your DH)
Leisure (farm/NT comes here)
Basic food (again, DH?)
Personal (Haircuts/contact lenses - not gym...that is really a leisure choice - not a personal needs choice)
Travel

And then, to be honest you needs "can't be arsed to cook" category.

Because, if you needed to, you could easily not spend £5000 a year on lunches/takeaways/family days out. Or don't cut back as much and you would still see say £3000 less disappearing into foil containers.

Seriously, the money and health implications are big.

And what would you both do if your income halved? You were made redundant? Burnt out?

How are you going to live in retirement?

What will you do if your DD has an SEN and your school fees double to provide the help she needs? Boiler breaks down?

You are overspending.

There is a lot of fat you can trim from your spending.

Starting with a proper chat with your husband.

And cooking. Both of you.

And why, why, why if your DH is cooking for DD, can he not just make more for both of you? Insanity. Or he eats with DD and leaves a plate for you?

Unless he is feeding her shit? What does he prepare for her?

These are all excuses. You’re over spending and can’t afford your lifestyle. Something has to give. You’ve a child in private education without any savings in case of job loss and now plan how you will pay for the general increase in fees. This is very irresponsible.

The joint account payment is my contribution to the mortgage. I’m not sure but I think it covers the whole mortgage

So do you not know how much the mortgage is?