Advice debt

[Bogfaerie]

I can't write too much but basically my husband is running up debt. Not sure where he's spending money but we never have anything. I've warned him and im sick of him. Because I'm married to him with a joint account he's affected my credit rating. I've now found a hidden letter with a charge made on our house amongst piles of other debts. If I could leave I would but with no money I can't. I'm preparing myself to. How do i financially disassociate myself from him. Our house is owned outright. I dont trust him his debt is huge I'm not being dragged down by him anymore. I've seen letters with my name on where he's tried to get credit too. He keeps all his wages puts nothing into joint account and only pays some bills now and again so we are always behind. Its been like this for over a year. I need to get my credit rating back and if he's gambling the house away I need to make sure it's just his half of it if that makes sense.

This sounds awful and incredibly stressful. You might want to report and ask for your post to be moved to Relationships for more responses.

I think you need some legal advice, find a solicitor specialising in family and divorce law. Many offer a free 30 minute chat.

Can you talk to your husband? What does he say is going on?

@SleepingMermaid yes I've tried talking he just raises his voice shouts tells more lies. I've given up now. If I had anywhere to go I would. I have no money no credit rating due to him. I want to know how I can financially disassociate from him so whatever he's up to he cannot lose me my home and I don't to be associated with any debts he's secretly running up that I don't know about.

Short of formal separation and divorce I don't think you can financially disassociate from him. You really, really need to take professional legal advice though because what you describe is not just worrying, it's absolutely catastrophic. Hard as it might be, I don't think you can delay on the grounds that you cannot afford to leave him right now. The longer this goes on the less you will be able to afford to leave him.

I don't work so I have no income. We live rural I have no transport or car otherwise I would work. I'm trying to get out anyway I can believe me. I have no money for a solicitor. He works but his wages are all his and under his control.

Have you tried Women’s Aid? What you’re describing sounds abusive. I really hope you can get some help to get out.

Speak to Citizens Advice or a debt charity.

Did he make you move somewhere with no transport, that sounds like he's isolating you which is abuse.

You must see a solicitor. He's gambling your house out from right under you. Could he have forged your name on a charge against the house? Letters about debt in your name are really worrying. I'd contact the police and show them the letters. Ring them when he's not around. Ask for the half an hour free with solicitors and tell them you are being financially abused.

Sign up to the land registry alert service https://www.gov.uk/guidance/property-alert if the house is owned outright it will alert you to any charges being added to it. A £3 land registry search will also show any charges. If you don’t work and are totally reliant on his income to cover the bills have you actually sat down to discuss the bills are you sure hes not just overwhelmed with the responsibility of 100% household contribution and his income is keeping pace with the bills? If you have decided to leave him how are you going to support yourself if you don’t work? Joint accounts work well when there isn’t disparity between both parties earnings. A part time job would be a step towards some independence.

Have you ever had a job? How much did you put down on the house as deposit / do you pay towards the mortgage?
If you have no job and no money I don't understand how you are existing.
Please try women's aid.

Do you own the house as joint tenants? If so, the first thing I'd be doing is severing that and become tenants in common instead. I don't know the legal ins and outs but I'd look into this urgently if you think he's placing your home at risk.

Thank-you I will register. As explained I cannot work at present. I live rural , no car , no public transport where I live. It would be a taxi in which case I have no money plus the fares would ne expensive. I have already thought about this.

Yes I have worked until I moved here. The house is not on a mortgage - read my initial post. I own half my house. When we first go a house years ago it was my savings that paid the depisit. It is not my first property. No i dont work now as i have explained in initial post why. My question is can I financially disassociate from him. I have done no wrong.

From what I've read - you can't disassociate from him financially until you divorce and get a clean break order.
You haven't said if divorce is an option for you.
The fact he's tried to get credit in your name & now there's a charge on your house indicates financial abuse.

I would urge you to contact womens aid.
Take your name off your joint account (if there's no joint money in it anyway and have your own account)

@ChangedUserName13 thanks im wondering that if he runs up debt in his name does that make me responsible for it too that's all.

As far as I understand it, if it is unsecured debt, so long as it isn't in joint names, only the named person is responsible for paying it.
Obviously though, there is a knock on effect for others in the household as that person's contribution to the household will reduce whilst they pay the debt. And if bailiffs get involved.

A marriage is a financial and legal union so you may want to consider divorce.
You could also close your joint account and systematically disentangle yourself from any other shared financial products.
In terms of money for solicitors' fees, these can come out of money from a divorce settlement so don't worry about having that upfront. I'm sorry, this sounds like abuse to me. Good luck.