Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Would you borrow from your Children’s savings?

51 replies

Iceywhite · 03/02/2024 18:59

Hi,

after just engaging with a similar thread, I’m interested in peoples views in this…

would you/ have you borrow(ed) money from your Children’s savings, and if so, did you feel guilty?

my kids are older now but I borrowed from their savings accounts a few times, always repaying it over time.

i think it’s fine, but others think it’s scrounging/stealing! What do you think ?

OP posts:
pinkdaphne · 03/02/2024 20:50

Absolutely did this! It's not wrong in the slightest as long as it's repaid.

spriots · 03/02/2024 20:52

For the most part, we save in our own names - I think it just makes more sense. Ultimately much of our savings are for our children but it's more flexible this way.

The only savings in their name are from grandparents

Veggieveggiecoke · 03/02/2024 21:07

Ponderingwindow · 03/02/2024 19:22

why is the child’s savings the go-to for an emergency? I am saving for my child, but I am also saving for myself for the short-term and for retirement. I save for myself first and would access my own larger accounts in an emergency.

also, child’s savings isn’t just from us. It comes from grandparents as well. I don’t think they would be as inclined to make deposits if it wasn’t secure.

Edited

Well aren’t you lucky that you have a buffer ie saving for yourself and retirement…many people are not in the same privileged position as you !!
FWIW my daughter has used her child’s savings to get her car fixed and yes I put money into that account monthly and have absolutely no problem with that . Fixed car means that daughter can go to work,earning money to keep her child with a roof over her head 🤦‍♀️

Londonscallingme · 03/02/2024 21:10

I think it’s fine if it was your money to start with (ie. Borrowing it back for a short while) but I wouldn’t do it with anyone else’s money (like if family had given it to the kids).

SunflowerSeeds123 · 03/02/2024 21:14

When DD had cash pocket money I'd borrow a tenner here or there but she always got more back.

Now she's older I don't. I don't even know how much is in her current account.

She has a savings account which I haven't ever touched. It's for university.

Hayliebells · 03/02/2024 21:21

I don't really understand why people even have savings accounts for their children if they might need the money. Fair enough if it's their birthday money given by relatives etc, but if it's parents saving money that they actually might need, why save it in their children's names in the first place? There's practically zero tax advantages to children's accounts now, unless parents are earning interest above their own tax free thresholds. But if they were, they wouldn't need to dip into their kids savings! It's better to have a decent emergency fund before savings for other things, including saving for children. We keep all our savings in our own names, then we'll help our kids out later with a house deposit etc as and when they need it. They have a small amount of gifted money from relatives in their own names, enough for driving lessons and a second hand car maybe, but not enough to be a problem if they blow it all on partying at 18.

BadBarry · 03/02/2024 21:25

No I wouldn't, it would have to be a situation like we'd all be out on the streets unless I did it , last resort only.

DeedlessIndeed · 03/02/2024 21:26

If it's for an emergency and there is no other savings (i.e. boiler blows up, can't afford petrol in the car or food on the table) then yes. Provided that it's paid back with some interest.

However, cash flow for a holiday, home improvements or car finance etc then no. Especially if it's come from a 3rd party. If it's come from us as parents, then I'd give myself a talking to about why I was saving for kids but hadn't ensured we'd had a safety net.

Again, if an emergency where child was going to go hungry / cold, then 100% I would.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 03/02/2024 21:28

BadBarry · 03/02/2024 21:25

No I wouldn't, it would have to be a situation like we'd all be out on the streets unless I did it , last resort only.

Why? Aren't you the one who put the money there in the first place and would pay it back?

thatneverhappened · 03/02/2024 21:39

No, I think it's a slippery slope. But I have been absolutely on the bones of my arse and used birthday money (not in bank) for new shoes when DD1 grew a lot in a few weeks and it was choice between shoes or eating for ten days (days before Vinted)

IncompleteSenten · 03/02/2024 21:45

If it was that or they go hungry or I couldn't pay rent or similar then yes.
Meeting their immediate needs is more important than not using their savings.

Oh yes social services I know they haven't eaten in two days but I have no money at all and I didn't want to touch their savings to feed them because that's their money and it would be stealing so we all just went hungry instead.

Ideally it would never come to that but a blanket no not ever never under no circumstances is an unreasonable stance.

BarbaricPeach · 03/02/2024 22:38

If we did have individual savings for the kids, of course I would borrow from them if it was for something necessary. Hence why we don't do that- it would be a lie to call it "savings for X" when it's really just "family savings" since we would obviously use it if we needed it. We have one account we save everything into, and will gift lump sums to the children at the appropriate time from what we have.

Smartiepants79 · 03/02/2024 22:42

For things that benefit them, yes. What is the point of them having savings if they’re hungry, cold, homeless, wearing clothes that don’t fit, shoes with holes etc etc…. There is lots of reasons and scenarios when using that money is completely fine.
Aim would always be to repay it as soon as possible.

caringcarer · 03/02/2024 23:00

No never, some of the money my DC have saved was gifted by grandparents and a great Aunt. People sometimes take money that belongs to their DC and their DC are too young to understand or give proper consent. In my eyes it's stealing. Not everyone repays the money in full and all lost interest. If people need to borrow money they should get a bank loan or arrange an overdraft. If they can't they are a bad risk so even more they shouldn't take what belongs to their DC. I had an old school friend who's grandparents left her some money and it went into her bank account. She was 11 at the time. At some point her parents borrowed this money and didn't tell her. She never got it back. Her own parents stole it from her.

TheFluffiestCat · 03/02/2024 23:22

We did once, when DH's car packed up and we'd not long moved house and had virtually no savings left. It's all paid back now.

sunshineandshowers40 · 03/02/2024 23:26

I haven't but I have probably forgotten the odd £10 over the years!

Veggieveggiecoke · 03/02/2024 23:27

Wouldn’t agree if it was paying for a luxury ie holiday but if using child’s money was urgent ie car fix ,boiler breaking down then definitely yes. My daughter used this money to fix her car ,paying the account back now,absolutely fine and common sense involved here !

Bowbobobo · 04/02/2024 09:13

I borrowed money from them to pay the mortgage once - I’m self-employed and a client hadn’t paid when I expected them to, so finances were temporarily in disarray and I didn’t have the time required to access my savings. In the end I only borrowed it for six days, then everything came right again and I paid it back. I didn’t feel guilty but I did think ‘that was too close for comfort’!

RootVegAndMash · 04/02/2024 10:11

Our children don't have savings. Not in the sense of money dh and I have saved specifically for X child. All of our savings are in our name and will be gifted to dc as/when we decide.

For the money they have that actually belongs to them - a few hundred quid max at any one time from Xmas/birthday/pocket money - no, we've never borrowed from them and nor would we. The thought makes me cringe.

Actually I have occasionally had cash from ds1 over the years because he always has it and we often have none. So when I've been caught short (things like needing £30 to pay youngests termly snack money and remembered as going out the door...takeaway turned up early and no cash here) he's happily given me cash and then I've replaced it later that day when I go to an ATM. I don't really count that as 'borrowing' though tbh.

JDJT · 04/02/2024 10:39

I'd hope we never needed to, but if we did, I guess as long as we pay it back (which I definitely would!) then it would be OK.
My DH said once that his parents' had saved for his future but ended up using it. He never got it back. I find that shocking and unforgiveable. They are comfortable now, so no excuses. One of the many things I don't like about my ILs though, the list is ever-growing.

Alwaysalwayscold · 04/02/2024 11:02

Not a chance.

IncompleteSenten · 04/02/2024 11:12

Just because I'm curious.
The no never not under any circumstances people.
No circumstances? There's no situation ever that would make that the only way to get through?

Let's suppose you lose your job, are unable to get another right away, you had savings but used them to live on while you carried on looking for work, you claim some benefits but it's a massive change in circumstances and you can't get a loan because obviously - you're unemployed! The only lenders who lend money to people who actually need it are the ones that charge more in interest than you borrowed in the first place.
So you're unexpectedly unemployed, let's say you're a single parent too and your ex is a waste of space who pays a fiver a week if that and never sees the kids.
Your mortgage was affordable when you had your job but now? Not so much.
Bills are mounting up, the cupboards are bare, you have no idea how you're going to feed the kids next week or next month. Food bank referrals are hard to get, you're trying but it's still not enough.

They have a few grand in savings.

You don't use it because it's 'stealing'

So what do you do? Ask social services to take them into care until you get on your feet?

I just think that believing there's no circumstances that could ever mean you would need to use your child's money to meet their immediate needs rather than saving for their future needs is unrealistic.

My parents saved every month for their grandchildren. Until something happened and they were plunged into debt. First thing I said was use that money. We can't, we saved it for the kids they said. It doesn't matter I told them. That was a lovely thought but you need it. Use it.
So they did. Because it is, frankly, the height of stupidity to go cold and hungry when there is money that can be used to meet essential expenses.

Tbh I would judge the fuck out of any parent who ring fenced savings at the expense of meeting their child's basic needs in the short term or who refused to give back savings like in my example above.

todayshappening · 04/02/2024 11:12

I've never saved for any of my 5 kids. But if I did I don't see the problem. Like I wouldn't for something silly like a takeaway but if it was for a bill that needed to be paid asap or food to stop us from starving or gas and electric then yes I see no problem. It's only theirs once they've been handed it at 18/21 or whatever.

ACynicalDad · 04/02/2024 11:20

I’ll take a tenner if I need cash and put it back within days, I’m fortunate I’ve never needed their savings accounts and would rather carry debt than do it. I knew a dad that took £30k inheritance from his kids for holidays and to landscape his garden, then divorced and never paid it back, that was wrong on multiple levels. Should never be for nice to haves and I’d rather never touch it.

Butterfly44 · 04/02/2024 12:16

Yes, it was our money we put aside for them so didn't feel guilty. Invested it into property they will inherit.