What options does my mum have? 65, no property, no pension.

[Liverpoolgirl50]

As the title states - I’m nervous for my mum. She’s 65, privately rents (has never owned) and hasn’t paid into a private pension. Unfortunately my dad left her in a lot of debt so any savings she had went towards paying that off. She is on a salary of 26k and can cover her outgoings now, but isn’t going to be able to work forever..

She’s on a list for a council property but is very low down for priority. She has done a calculation for universal credit should she not be working and it isn’t enough to cover her bills etc.

She’s told me that she’s starting to worry as she gets older. My husband and I have a young baby and really don’t have the space for her to live with us, but if that’s the only option we have then I imagine we’d have to make it work.

Does anyone here know what her options are, or who she could speak to for advice?

I think you need to double check that, im 50 next month and it says I can retire at 67?

Those worst off are those who scrimped to buy they own home but just get state pension and a small pension, puts them out of reach of any help and all gets taken in care home fees if needed and also they struggle to maintain the property with little income.

That's exactly the position I will be in when I have to stop work (I've been getting my state pension for 3 years, but work part-time). And when I need to go into a care home, my house will have to be sold to pay the fees.

My MIL, still going strong at 86, only ever worked for 13 years in her entire life and lives in a 2-bedroom council house. She gets pension credit, full housing benefit and doesn't have to pay a penny in council tax.

She's got more disposable income than I will have and doesn't have to put her hand in her pocket every time something in the house needs fixing, she just picks up the phone and the council come and do it. No need to pay buildings insurance either! And if she needs to go into residential care, the state will pay.

She's a lovely person so in one sense I don't mind, but it does feel unfair that she has more disposable income after working for 13 years than I will have after working 52 years or more.

She might not need care, not everyone does. My mother didn't.

However, some of the state nursing homes are pretty dire. I would prefer to pay if I could and find somewhere that suited me, at least I would have a choice. I had two aunts, one from each side, who ended their days in nursing homes. One was disabled and was in the home for about four years I think, the other had dementia and died not long after going to hers. Both were private and they were excellent, they had good care and were not unhappy.

I aim to have care at home if I need it. I am 74 so you never know. Sometimes care at home is not possible, for example if one develops dementia. However it is quite possible for other conditions, my mother-in-law was cared for at home, partly by me and my husband and some very good carers who came in regularly. It was the best way, she was deaf and it was difficult for her to communicate with people at times but we, and the carers, could communicate with her. I cooked for her every day too which she loved. She had Parkinson's Disease and gradually became less and less mobile. We took it in turns to sleep there towards the end. She would have been scared in a home and I am thankful that never happened.

I will be in that position too as a home owner who will have two tiny pensions after 49 years of work. It really does suck.

yep @LakieLady that’s the rub …it’s all wrong 😑…

those that are in a council house and don’t have any private pensions are quids in ! No rent to pay, no council tax no home repairs and a host of other benefits…I am shocked how things seem to work …

Are you sure? I’m 65 in September and my retirement age is 66 next year.

@LBFseBrom but state nursing homes are private homes . There are people being funded by the LA in the most expensive care homes . I've seen it ! There isn't a complete divide between private and funded care ! We have spent £100k on mums care in the last 18 months and I'll have to cash in all her other investments soon. There was literally no point .

I asked her to put it in trust 10 years ago but she wouldn't and now it's gone . I don't need it but it would have helped her grandchildren .

It is awful. I see people returning to the Uk with nothing after years abroad and they can get full pension credit even after living abroad for years if they are a UK citizen, and you get those who were self employed who never paid their stamp / NI contributions and as Lakielady has said there are many ( especially older women) who have barely worked in their lives who get topped up by pension credit. I'm not saying they haven't had hard lives , many will have looked after large families etc but they all end up with more disposable benefit income. My colleague refuses to pay into the works pension scheme or scrimp to buy a home as she, as a social worker saw so many old people just have their homes sold to pay for care and no better off than those who had barely worked.

But surely you would end up in a one bed flat with no control over the area. Most people want a bigger place in retirement to host children and grandchildren. Not quite sure the message is don’t save for retirement.

She's very privileged then, as she (or you) will have a choice in the quality of her care. A lot of the places are absolutely dire, you wouldn't feel good about her being in there and not having any other choice. Surely spending her life savings on the best quality care is the best outcome? Or are you upset as this might reduce your inheritance?

It's a terrible message. There are an increasing amount of pensioners in poverty, through no fault of their own. To look at them as being 'lucky' is rather odd.

Yes but this is only if you are in one of these nice homes and then your money runs out.
If you start with nothing you do not end up in one of these nice care homes.

Are you sure this is your 'friend' @marshmallowmix ??? And not you. You sound very invested and very angry.

I do agree though, that it doesn't seem worth scrimping and saving for your old age, when others who haven't done so, and appear to have wasted their money get everything for free. Then again, some who are getting it all for free now, didn't have the same chances as the others - never had a chance to buy a property, didn't have a high earning spouse, never had a well-paid job for life with a gold plated pension etc.

I know someone who is in the exact same position as your 'friend' right now. The mother got ill quite quickly over late 2022/early 2023 (dementia.) She has/had a house worth £300K, and some £175K savings... The 3 adult children were looking forward to a tidy inheritance, but she has had to go into a home, (went in in March this year,) and the savings are funding her care... Around £7K a month. Once that is gone, (and it will be by Spring 2026,) she will have to sell her house to carry on funding the care.

Every one of the three middle aged children are furious that their inheritance is being eaten up. Then again, the children of someone who never owned a home get nothing either. Yeah, it can be classed as 'unfair' that people in their old age who have nothing get free housing, free council tax, everything paid for etc. But then it's also unfair on the children of these people - because they never get an inheritance.

Also @Liverpoolgirl50 I am glad your mum has got secure housing. I am just sorry that some people resent her for it.

@poshsnobtwit I just don't think it's fair . I don't her money but I'll make sure I make better decisions for my family because of what's happened

Yes money gives you choice , I don't dispute that but I also think things should be fair but that's such a big topic .

I do see what you are saying, my own grandmother was resentful that her savings were eaten up and then her house had to be sold to pay for her care home. Instead of seeing as 'the government took it off me' it should be viewed as 'I have choices about the type of care I receive'. We have a welfare system for a very good reason, I wouldn't want that to be taken away. What sort of better decisions are you planning to make for your family?

@poshsnobtwit I have a sizeable estate which I'm leaving in trust .

Also I will be exploring dignitas as dementia has hit the last 3 generations of women in my family and I won't allow myself to put my children through what I've been through with my Mum and aunt.

I think as well that money in a SIPP (private pension) can’t be touched for care home fees and would pass down to your children. So still good to save in that

I mean the lump sum you have in that, not an annuity type pension

@HeySummerWhereAreYou it is my good friend not me what the heck is that to do with it…I am angry as it seems all wrong when she has told me.

Her mum is in a care home costing £8k per month and they’ve ran out of savings…most in the there aren’t paying a penny hence why they are now in a battle with the LC/authority.
they have spent all her mums and now the LC want her house sold …

her mum did without all her life and now she is being punished losing every penny alongside those that didn’t save getting same care for free …

that’s the situation …

@HeySummerWhereAreYou yes I am angry…
once again the person doing the right thing gets dumped upon and those that don’t plan ahead get it handed for free …so yep am pretty annoyed …only saving grace is finding this it now and will ensure my family dont end up with the same injustice so it’s a lesson learnt on that score !

Some of the independent housing associations will allow applications from homeowners if they are trying to sell, especially for sheltered housing with low/ no waiting lists- some of which are still in lovely areas. Links above.
But you need to think about how you will pay the rent if you cannot get benefits...

@Meezer yes snd if paying rent yourself often the service charges for these properties is expensive compared to what you get (those getting rent paid will get this covered as well). But there are some lovely ones around and still allows a degree of independence as in can come and go when you want and usually they have a guest flat where family can stay

Rachel Reeves has said that the care cap will now not happen for the foreseeable future as there’s no money. The Dilnot report was 2011 according to the Times. Yet another generation will have all the money they worked for taken while others pay nothing. I’m fine with paying towards my care if needed, but to be left with nothing for my family seems so unfair. Once again the squeezed middle get caught; if you have nothing it’s paid for and if you’re seriously rich it probably won’t affect you.

Oh gosh I’m sorry this thread upset so many people. My mum unfortunately was dealt a poor hand by giving everything to an abusive man that essentially left her with nothing. She certainly didn’t expect to end up here, and I know for a fact she isn’t proud of it, but I’m thankful that she won’t have to worry. I watched her work as a single parent for the best part of my childhood.

For what it’s worth, I’m making different choices by putting into a private pension and will teach my daughter the same. I can understand the anger here, but I think it’s aimed in the wrong direction.

You don't need to apologise or explain your own circumstances in any way, sometimes threads get hijacked because they throw light upon larger issues which provoke debate. In this case the social care system is at fault and in a country where there is an increasingly aging population this area of social care has been shown to be woefully underfunded.