The costs of starting again after divorce

[glazedkremedonuts]

I wonder if anyone can help me with this.

Im getting a divorce after domestic violence, we have two dc, 6 and 2.

Right now we have a house worth 750 k (price of similar in our street), and savings of about 250 k.

I reckon to buy a new house outof London, but within commuting distance, I need about 300k. Another 30k to set it up. Is this ott?

Im going to try and settle this without spending time and money arguing over a settlement. Before we had dc I worked and put into the deposit for the house and the mortgage. He has paid the mortgage alone for 5 years.

Do people think 330k is a reasonable out of court offer to make on the financial settlement front.

Ive taken the 15k I had in my old savings account from pre marriage and am using that to live on at the moment.

He earns a very good salary. I would expect to have to go back to work, but he pay half the school fees for the school she is at, and half for ds when he is of school age, and about 500 pounds per month maintenance until they are out of education. And to foot the bills for the family until I find a job. Right now job hunting is not an option yet, Ive no permaent place to live which I consider safe, and my knee is out of action due to him stamping on it. But I will get back to work as soon as I possibly can. I reckon for someone who has been out of the market for 5 ish years, it is not going to be easy to find a job on the same level as before (was an underwriter). I clearly need to pay the bills though and perhaps would need to do some retraining/retake profession exams/ go back into the same kind of business, but to something like data entry . I have a good degree, great a levels, and some prof qualifications.

The other option is to wait, use up a lot of savings fighting each other in the courts, and everyone getting upset. To be honest I dont think he would go for this.

Should I expect to have to rent forever, I dont want to live in the family house, as I cant face the neighbours. Am I likely to get anything near this?

Spousal maintenance is rare, usually the judge will ensure you both have a home and child support is adequate.

If the family home is sold and the money from this and the savings split, you'll still have way more money than most people - enough to buy a smaller home outright and child maintenance and a job would cover your living expenses.

If you have capital of £1 million between you, you should get £500,000. In addition, you ask for child support of about £20k plus school fees.

Happymummyofone, yes I know I am very lucky to be in this situation. I really dont want to drag it before I judge I really want to settle out of court and just put it to the judge that we settled financially then they will only have to decide on child access etc.

Thank you

If 300k is 30% of your joint assets it is too little. The basic approach by the courts is to share assets 50:50 but then adjust according to need and ability to meet those needs. So a childless couple who both work might divide 50:50 and walk away, but a parent who has the children generally will have greater needs and less ability to meet them as regards earnings and so on than does the parent without the children.

These are some of the things to consider:

add up all equity and savings and investments - (do you mean house clear of mortgage 750k or with mortgage?)
add value of significant possessions eg car, jewellery, shares

is that sum sufficient to house both you with DCs and exDH to a reasonably acceptable standard?

if not, what are your respective income/earning abilities so far as housing costs are concerned? for example could you be housed outright, he could have a large deposit and a manageable mortgage?

next, income to live on; outgoings that you would both reasonably expect to continue, eg school fees, plus normal day-to-day expenses; where would these come from?

then, pensions; have you got one? has he? is there enough capital to buy you an annuity or AVCs? you can and should have a share of his pension fund if there is no other provision for your retirement.

this is a useful website:

resolution