How to stop spending?

[booni13]

I'm awful with money. I make sure my mortgage, bills and food are all paid for and then I spend the rest within a week.

I get this overpowering urge to spend. I normally waste it all on clothes, make up or food. I feel horrible guilt after but I just can't stop.

I would love to be sensible with money or to put some in savings but I just can't do it. I will put some money in a different account with the aim of saving it and the next day I will just blow the whole lot.

Any advice?

Make it harder to spend online. So you have to type your card number in each time etc

I am the same as you. Always spending it within the first half of the month after pay day.
Something that helps me is putting savings away each month. If I put £200 away I usually dip in £50/100 of that but I still don't spend it all IYSWIM!

As @bluechicky said, make it harder to spend on line.

But also, unsubscribe from marketing emails for brands you have bought in the past so you are not tempted. If you have to walk past shops to get to work, choose a different route if you can't resist going in. Use a smaller less well stocked supermarkets if you are tempted by non-food purchases.

Would any of that work?

Set up an automatic transfer from your current account to a hard to access savings account on pay day every month.

You could try the wallets system. Give yourself a monthly budget for clothes and makeup. Part of the fun is then trying to get what you want within budget. You might end up on Vinted or trying a cheaper brand that turns out to be great. When I needed to repay heavy debts when I was younger, I had a very limited budget for socialising. I loved seeing how far I could make it last, and discovered loads of brilliant cheap fun things to do.

Transfer to savings and transfer back what is needed each week. Try to take out only cash, block all your regular shopping websites.

But if you can't stop, and some people can't, you may need to look at what is driving the behaviour.

Practically - put the savings in an account it isn't easy to withdraw them from. Not an instant access saver. Not one it's a total impossibility to get them out of as you probably need to build up your emergency pot, but one that requires lots of complex logins and several days' notice to release the funds.

What about setting a budget by week instead of by month?

Also, using an app like Monzo is useful for really seeing where you are at in terms of days left until payday and how far it really needs to stretch. I know I have £290 and 11 days left this month so I know I need to stick to about £20 a day, it really helps me.

Emotionally - there is probably something deeper driving this kind of compulsive behaviour. It might be worth exploring with a therapist.

Save on payday after essentials are covered and then spend what is left, not the other way around.

Also, read about plastic in ocean, deforestation etc and realise almost everything you’re buying is probably making that worse. Especially if it’s online and wrapped in plastic and cardboard. Do you really need it?

Choose a savings account which pays high interest (see Money Saving Expert). Once you get started it becomes rewarding to watch your money grow. Kick start your savings by switching banks and bagging switch bonuses (also see Money Saving Expert). It’s really not much hassle at all, all your payees and direct debits move over with you. Sometimes these can pay £200 or more.

Good luck.

I have recently found that searching and putting things in the online basket(s) then waiting 48 hrs - I go back and can't be bothered to buy them - as if the thrill of the chase is better than actually owning them if you know what I mean? I could own them, but nah, fuck it. I can't be arsed with the waiting in, sending them back, packaging, finding somewhere to put them.

I know it's sound daft but it's working for me

Set up a monthly standing order to an isa. Have a look at MSE for current best rates. First direct offer 7% on a regular saver but the maximum deposit is £300 ( only works out at about 3.8% pa) That would be £3600 saved in a year. You could save that and then use the interest to buy something as a reward.
Isas are your best bet for long term savings. Don’t download the app onto your phone and it might help you forget you have it!?

Have a savings goal, to keep you motivated.

Look at it another way….
Do you end up throwing things away or giving things away to charity shops etc… because you don’t need them/ don’t have space?
Every time you do that, write down exactly how much money you’re throwing away. It soon adds up. Then when you’re tempted to spend, imagine it going into the bin as a £20 note in 6 months time.!

Have a think about what triggers the urge. Is it following certain people on social media? Looking at certain sites? Block them. A lot of compulsive are habit - stop for a few weeks and it becomes much less automatic.

I'm the same- it's terrible.
I have started this year to write every spend in a big diary.
It's helping to focus each transaction- am I too embarrassed to write it down?! ( another takeaway coffee eg).
Got to try something

Put some savings in something like premium bonds or a building society account which has passbook only access and a branch that means you have to travel to get money out.

Hi @booni13 . I do this! I have found two things work. 1. Putting money in savings at start of the month somewhere that’s not the easiest to access. Sadly lots of places have it all online but for example premium bonds are more difficult to withdraw from as you go through lots of passwords etc and it takes a few days to come out. 2. Anything in a basket online come back to a few hours later or the next day. 9/10 I find I have gone off the idea and moved onto looking at something else!

I’d also try and think about saving money as spending money too. You are technically spending it… on yourself and your savings.

I went through a period of overspending during lockdown. The only thing I found to work was reducing the limit on one of my credit cards to enough for essentials (food, diesel, etc) and giving my DM my cards to lock in the safe. A month or so was enough for me to realise I didn't really miss what I was spending the money on, and I built a nice little nest egg with what I'd saved.

I would start small and build up. If you think you can save £100 pm then save £50, but once it has gone into the account you can’t touch it. Likewise, if you receive a pay increase, increase your savings or pension contributions at the same time. You don’t miss what you haven’t had.

I'm the same. One thing that has helped a little bit is opening up a savings account with Moneybox, where it takes a month to withdraw. So I can't spend it impulsively. I'm only saving £25 a week into it, but it meant I had £500 to spend on Christmas. If I didn't have credit card debt to pay I'd increase the savings. I think the next time I withdraw will be to pay off my credit card debt in a bigger chunk. Once that is payed off I will increase the weekly saving amount. The savings come out automatically.