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Original poster

AIBU to not do this

109 replies

Sycamoretreat · 11/01/2024 15:53

Hi,

DH has a best mate who is quite recently divorced and rebuilding his life- lovely guy.

he needs a new car but can’t get finance so he’s asked DH to take the finance in his name.

im dead against it but DH thinks I’m being unfair. AIBU

OP posts:
OnlyOpenMouthToChangeFeet · 11/01/2024 16:47

If you and DH have anything financial in joint names, such as a bank account or mortgage, then all CRA's will have you financially linked.

When your lovely friend defaults on the payments, which sounds quite probable as he can't get credit of his own, it will not only impact your DH's credit rating but also your own.

No. There is a very good reason for the old adage of never lending friends money!

Allwelcone · 11/01/2024 17:08

There's lending and there's lending though. Agree dont take on finance but maaaaybe I wd consider helping him out with a run-around to last 1 year if our finances allowed.

SparkyBlue · 11/01/2024 17:15

Absolutely no way.

Nicknacky · 11/01/2024 17:17

Have you asked your H if he can afford the payments when (not if) his friend stops paying?

idontlikealdi · 11/01/2024 18:11

Good god, no way.

Ariela · 11/01/2024 18:16

If his friend stops paying then your DH is liable to pay the whole lot.
You are far better off lending him just a fixed sum of money that you can afford to lose. Would you be able to lend him enough for a cheap car, say £1k that has a good few months MOT just to get him mobile till he can afford more?
Otherwise you truthfully have to ask yourselves can you afford to pay for a whole car on finance for 3-4 years or however long if he doesn't pay?

Iloveacurry · 11/01/2024 18:27

No way! Why can’t he buy a cheap run around? Not a car on finance.

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/01/2024 18:30

"he needs a new car but can’t get finance"

Why can't he get finance? Usually the reason is the person has a bad credit score due to past conduct with debts - like, not paying!

Ask your husband - can he afford to pay for his friend's car, in total? Because that is what he is setting himself up for.

What's his plan should his "best mate" default?

  • Will he take the car off him? Can't see it.
  • Stop paying? It would ruin DH's credit record and lead to the pair of you having trouble mortgaging, remortgaging, taking out finance for yourselves etc.
  • So DH would have to continue paying the finance. Can he afford to do so without affecting the family finances, i.e. out of his personal spending money? No 'borrowing' from joint money?
It's a bad idea to bring money into a friendship - it generally kills the friendship. Your husband would lose both his friend and a shedload of money.

He absolutely should not make himself financially responsible for his "best mate". It's a fool's game.

zeibesaffron · 12/01/2024 12:06

absolutely not!

Vonesk · 12/01/2024 12:11

So I don't understand how this works.
Would your dh own the car????
Or what other ' Security ' could be proffered..????????
Always get ' security ' for loans. 😁

ALJT · 12/01/2024 12:17

Nope wouldn’t even enter my mind. I came into some money and my ‘best friend’ asked for a loan… funny how people change when moneys involved…

StinkerTroll · 12/01/2024 12:30

Absolutely no way! My FIL did this for someone, he then sadly passed away, turns it the friend hadn't been paying for the car FIL had been, they refused to pay, my husband was the executor of the will and we had to deal with it, it was by far the biggest nightmare of everything we had to deal with. DO NOT DO THIS!!

Toooldtoworry · 12/01/2024 12:33

I was stupid enough to do this in my early 20s. My 'friend' never paid. Do NOT do this.

Bear in mind if you have a mortgage upon remortgage it'll affect affordability.

zeddip · 12/01/2024 12:36

110% not a fucking chance in hell

If he can't get credit he should save up for a cheap car, walk, take the bus etc.

100% terrible idea and could leave your husbands credit score in a really bad way if that guy loses his job or whatever or just decides he doesn't fancy paying it a few months and the bad scores go under your husbands name. He could even run off into the sunset and leave your husband to foot the bills entirely.

There's a company that offer car loans with bad credit they just basically use a device to stop the car if payments aren't made. I heard an advert on the radio once, perhaps direct him to them.

Beautiful3 · 12/01/2024 12:38

Nope. Your debt is shared because you're married, so it would affect you too. It's not worth the stress and worries if he defaults.

Devon23 · 12/01/2024 12:47

No your not being unfair I'd kill my hubby if he did that. The reason your friend cant get finance speaks volumes.

LakeTiticaca · 12/01/2024 13:12

NOOOOOO!!
Not a snowballs chance in hell should he do this. It could end up ruining you, lovely guy or not

MeridaBrave · 12/01/2024 13:13

I’d probably offer to lend a small amount say £1k to buy a banger. And even then only if I could afford to write it off. And with a monthly direct debit set up. No way to more.

BasiliskStare · 12/01/2024 13:23

Another to say no. If Dh is thinking you are unfair well unfair of him. Friend of mine some time ago put her name to a lease for a car for her DP so he could do his job. All went to rat shit and it was a mess to sort it out when she ended up with the the debt.

I think you will have the message OP but please don't let your husband do this. This is a situation I would be prepared to have a row about with DH.

Mumof2girls2121 · 12/01/2024 13:29

Why can’t he get finance? I’d ask myself that before taking it on.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 12/01/2024 13:48

Mumof2girls2121 · 12/01/2024 13:29

Why can’t he get finance? I’d ask myself that before taking it on.

If he can't get finance anywhere that means he's such a bad risk that no bank or finance company is prepared to take him on. This is such a bad idea I can't even find the words to describe how bad it is. Leaving aside the virtually guaranteed chance the friend will default, a loan hits your DH's credit rating.

How's he going to pay it back? presumably DH isn't asking for a formal enforceable loan agreement, either.

Bonbon249 · 12/01/2024 13:50

To quote Shakespeare 'Neither a borrower or a lender be'. Bad, bad plan unless you can afford to lose the money and the friendship.

nickelbabe · 12/01/2024 13:51

YANBU.
wow!
If the mate defaults on.the loan, your dh will be liable! And it could ruin his credit rating!
It's one thing lending (giving) money to a friend to help, but an absolutely completely different thing to take out a loan for him!

No no no no no no no no.

KnackeredBack · 12/01/2024 13:51

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

If anything happens to the repayments, he will arse up his (and your!) credit forever. The friendship will also be permanently changed, even if nothing goes wrong.

NEVER
EVER
DO
THIS

Oldandcobwebby · 12/01/2024 13:54

As I bloke, I say NO!!!! If he was a reliable payer, lenders would be happy to lend to him. Your DH has the best of intentions, but doing this will lose him a huge dose of money, his friendship and your trust and respect. MADNESS