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Original poster

Treat money

22 replies

MolsIH · 05/12/2023 20:28

Hi everyone
Sorry I don’t mean for this to be insensitive in a cost of living crisis

my husband and I have a joint account for all our bills, mortgage, food, kids etc and we have a personal account each in which we have £400 a month pure disposable income for
say a new top, nails, beers etc

I don’t spend anywhere near that amount

my husband is saying he wants more?! Is it just me or is £400 a month a lot?

how Much would you say you spend on yourself a month? X

OP posts:

tribpot · 05/12/2023 20:31

I guess the question is what can you afford? People's fun money budgets will vary wildly. It should be only what you can afford to spare after everything else has been budgeted for, including savings. (I assume if you're not spending all of your 400 you are saving the rest).

Where would the money come from to fund your DH's (and your) increased budget for fun money?

theduchessofspork · 05/12/2023 20:36

Depends entirely what your income is

You don’t mention savings or pensions - so that would need to be sorted out before any rise in spending money

BYW if he gets a rise, so do you, you can always put it away for a rainy day

persisted · 05/12/2023 20:38

I consider it a lot of money. Before raising it I'd look at the whole budget...
What's in the rainy day fund? Is there a holiday savings account?
What could I gain by overpaying on a debt/mortgage/additional pension contributions etc.

RethinkingLife · 05/12/2023 20:44

As PPs, it's not a question anyone can respond to without an intrusive amount of requests for information.

It sounds like a generous sum but there must be reasons why your DH finds it doesn't stretch far. E.g., eating out or visiting a pub costs a lot more in London than it does elsewhere. If your husband has a lot of invitations to stag do weekends, that might mount up.

Or, is it a very expensive hobby like a sport with lots of high-end equipment and fees to enter many sportiv events?

Swirlyyyy · 05/12/2023 20:59

It's a lot to me! We have the same arrangement and get £75 month each for all personal spending including gifts for our own friends/families, socialising without each other, clothes, grooming, hobbies etc.. A few years ago when money was tighter we had £30 each so £75 seems a lot.

determinedtomakethiswork · 05/12/2023 23:45

A lot of people are greedy, and if you have spare money they will want it. If your husband wants more money, then it shouldn't come out of your allowance.

Femme2804 · 05/12/2023 23:57

I spent around £500-£700 a month for personal things. I like shopping and going out and eating out with my friends a lot. Its very personal and different for everybody.

Finestreason · 06/12/2023 00:01

Wouldn’t this question only be relevant to people of similar income and expenses to you?

For some, £400 is a single meal out, for others it’s what they can afford to spend annually. Some
have very little to nothing to spend on themselves.

BarbaraofSeville · 06/12/2023 04:18

It will seem like a fortune to many, but others will spend a lot more. What's reasonable depends on your budget and priorities.

A generous amount of personal spending money for adults within a family is a fairly low priority, after just about everything else is covered. If you already have £400, you've got far more than a minimal amount, so to have more, unless you really do have a lot of spare money, you're risking not having enough for important things like pensions, emergency fund, being able to run and replace cars without borrowing or things like the family holiday, Christmas, days out with DC etc.

What does he spend his money on and can he cut back anywhere? Can the family afford more or is the £400 already too much?

assessedorregreased · 06/12/2023 04:49

It depends on various things ...

Does this include clothes etc too?

Lunches?

£100 isn't a large amount if you live in London.

Socialising and eating out is expensive there.

I'd spend £10 a day on coffees on the way in and out of work.

caringcarer · 06/12/2023 04:54

What does he spend his money on?

WYorkshireRose · 06/12/2023 04:54

I probably spend anywhere between £500-1000 per month, depending on birthdays, social events etc. So I wouldn't personally think of £400 as excessive, but as others have pointed out, it's all relative to what you can afford.

KingofCats · 06/12/2023 05:21

I have about this and definitely have to think twice about buying things. Once you’ve bought maybe a couple of items of clothes/shoes and a couple of meals out, it goes quick. But that’s my budget because it’s what I can afford after saving and other expenses so I make it work. I’d recommend doing a detailed budget and making sure you about putting aside enough for annual expenses such as holidays and Christmas and savings and then see if the budget can realistically be increased or not.

Lorijune · 06/12/2023 07:18

My husband takes £500 but definitely aspires to more. He spends most of it on an expensive hobby and some personal bills. He hasn’t bought new clothes regularly since we had our 5 year old so I’d agree it’s not really enough. Ideally I’d take more than this myself too. The cost of living has gone up so much and boring bills eat up the best part of our salaries.

Itsthemostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 06/12/2023 07:23

We have £30 each for independent spending and £180 for joint endeavours. So really £120 each. I think it needs to be more like £70 each to be honest so £400 sounds ample.
It does depend on lifestyle and if that includes clothes and haircuts or if this is a separate budget

User2856948 · 06/12/2023 07:26

DH could and sometimes does easily spend more than that on his hobbies and events, I vary with what is spend but if I bought some clothes and went out a few times I could spend more

Peablockfeathers · 06/12/2023 07:26

It depends really, do you have a surplus of money a month beyond half the bills and £400 each or is he proposing cut backs elsewhere or from your pot to spend on himself? Generally the answer will vary wildly, most cut their cloth accordingly and adapt to what they have.

Wendyspotatopeeler · 06/12/2023 07:35

We have £200 each and top up with bank switch money but don't have expensive hobbies.

User2856948 · 06/12/2023 08:24

What does he spend it on, some hobbies can be quite expensive, DH will suddenly decide he 'needs' a new camera lens or his bike will need something or an event to go to miles away which costs a lot so entry and fuel costs for just one day

Original poster

MolsIH · 06/12/2023 08:29

Thanks everyone lots of great points to consider and agree hard to say can we afford the amount without diving into savings, pensions, bills and a whopping £1.2k a month childcare bill!

i like the idea of looking at the whole budget. He zooms in on treat money to which I say okay if that goes up we can’t pop a little in the rainy day fund so no holidays next year! Short term thinking I feel he is :/

Thankyou

OP posts:

tribpot · 06/12/2023 08:38

Actually I would treat rainy day and holidays as two different budget categories, otherwise what happens if you have an emergency right after a holiday? But that's something of an aside.

So yes - the money has got to come from somewhere. It sounds like one argument is that there will be more surplus once the childcare bill reduces.

Heatherbell1978 · 06/12/2023 16:16

We have £650 each treat money but doesn't go far! Ours includes phones, work travel, things like contact lenses etc. I hardly buy clothes these days. A meal and drinks out with friends (rarity) could be £60/70. I don't have beauty treatments and have quite a frugal beauty regime. I do get my hair cut every 6 weeks, coloured every 12 weeks, and go to a weekly yoga class. All adds up.

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