Free / Open Bar at Wedding

[Eva90]

We are fortunate enough that my dad is VERY kindly offering to pay for our bar tab at our wedding next year, for the evening party (we will be providing day drinks after ceremony and at dinner etc). There will be around 140 adults - both our family and friends are big drinkers!

We will be limiting this to single spirits, beers and wines only (no doubles, shots or cocktails on the tab). We will also set a tab limit.

We're unsure what to set the tab too, we want to be able to cover the majority of the evening if we can. My dad is very generous but I also don’t want him to have any shocks at the end of the night! The bar staff will also update him every £500 or so, so he is able to keep track.

Has anyone had an open bar at their wedding (or no one someone who did) and can share how much it came to? And for how many people?

Thanks so much - I am just totally clueless on trying to work it out! X

I wouldn't do a free bar. It's always the greedy pigs that drink it dry and leave nothing for anyone else . Bar staff should not be responsible for limiting drinks and checking if you have reached your quota. It's normal for the father of the bride get a round for everybody to toast the couple but that's it. An open bar is a waste of money, put that money towards something that will benefit you and your future DH.

Can you clarify this bit: "single spirits, beers and wines only (no doubles, shots or cocktails on the tab)"? Surely a single spirit is a shot?

It’s obvious isn’t it? You can have a single spirit with a mixer so G&T, rum and coke, vodka lemonade are all fine. Tequila shots are not. The G&T will be poured as a single, not a double.

We did £100-150 a head for those that were drinking at our wedding. We didn’t set any limits though.

You mean someone would be allowed to have the more expensive option of vodka with lemonade (which means they pay for vodka and for lemonade), but can't have just the same amount of vodka on its own? They have to get it with something else? It's not obvious to me - rather, it makes no sense.

Yes exactly and it makes perfect sense because it makes people pace it since they have to consume a whole glass of liquid as opposed to swallow it in one shot and also they have to drink something vaguely hydrating with the alcohol. People are likely to drink less if consuming with a mixer versus if they’re drinking straight shots.

The same effect could be achieved by giving people tokens to limit how many things they could get from the bar. Rather than saying "free bar! but actually only for these very specific mixed drinks we've approved."

You can never taste the alcohol in those shots+mixer drinks, only the mixer. If you don't like the mixers, no luck for you.

Maybe you could issue the shot drinkers with a compulsory glass of tap water?

Or they could have a beer or a wine? Are there really going to be that many ‘only like their cheap bottom shelf vodka neat’ drinkers for this to be a real issue? I’d personally go for a free bar over the tokens, which don’t seem as generous, and if there’s one guest with such particular tastes then so be it. Most people can find something they can drink from soft drinks, red wine, white wine, lager and non premium spirits with the typical array of juices and fizzy drinks as a mixer. As if anyone would go to a friend’s house and complain that they only offered wine, beer or a G&T- they would just be grateful for the hospitality. At weddings I’d be expecting a free bar even less so I’d be thrilled with the generosity and would very gladly have a white wine or vodka soda!

I asked friends this question recently because I was trying to work out how much we needed to allocate for our wedding.
1st wedding - 100 people, just under £8k
2nd wedding - 130 people, £5k
3rd wedding - 100 people, £2k
I think it depends on a lot of factors. The 3rd wedding was an early start and finished quite early as well. People were quite obviously flagging towards the end and it didn’t have much of a party atmosphere which I think was due to the early start time and a very long drawn out meal which didn’t include much booze and no bar to purchase your own.
For our own wedding I don’t think we’ll limit the drinks too much except for maybe champagne and very premium spirits. I’d rather everyone be able to order what they like but maybe pay for their own drinks later on in the evening once the bar runs out. We’re also doing cocktail hour, champagne for the toasts and another round of cocktails with the late night food which will all include the evening guests so I don’t think anyone will go thirsty!

I've been to weddings where they give each guest 1 or 2 guest tokens for a drink, works well because everyone gets the same number

Wow! I don’t think I could drink £45 of booze in an evening.

I am obviously very out of touch, but the idea of £80 / head for drinks surprises me. A lot. I obviously move in the wrong circles.

YOu're doing this the wrong way round. Your dad needs to tell you what his budget is, and you then plan accordingly. If his budget is £5,000, go crazy. If it's £1,000 perhaps limit it to beer and certain wines and also have a timeframe.

140 people is a lot. Are those all adults, or children too? Are they all drinkers? I work on the assumption that you should assume at least 1/2 bottle of wine per person at a large event like this - some will drink little or nothing, and others will drink a bottle or more to themselves. Depending on the price of drinks at venue, I'd imagine you're therefore looking at somewhere between £12-£20 per person for a budget.

£1800 for 40 guests, 17 years ago.

It was a free bar, some people took the piss, most didn't. We weren't concerned it was a free for all.