Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Do I need to claim benefits?

57 replies

ctm2342 · 16/11/2023 13:28

My XH says he has been voluntarily paying me effective spousal maintenance, on top of child maintenance - and that he cannot sustain this any longer. He says he has run my details through a benefit calculator and that I'm entitled to substantial benefits, which would total slightly more than he is voluntarily paying me at present.

We don't have any formal financial agreements. However, if he started off some process to resolve this, I understand there's a form (D81) and he says I would be required to apply for benefits in order to show the potential (or actual new) income, available to me, on the form.

Having read around this online, I'm confused if it has to be a court that would order me to claim benefits, or if I am indeed required to apply for them (or receive them?) in the first instance, before requesting that his finances are reviewed to see if he can maintain the payments without me needing to claim benefits. Sorry, bit of a mouthful.

Anyone have any thoughts on which comes first?

OP posts:
Janeandme · 16/11/2023 13:35

Why would you not claim them and force your ex to pay, that makes no sense, he’s not a meal ticket for life.

Gingerkittykat · 16/11/2023 13:39

Do you have any income which does not come from your husband?

Pleaseletitbebedtime · 16/11/2023 13:40

You can’t be forced to claim benefits but he doesn’t have to voluntarily pay spousal maintenance. The courts rarely make someone pay sm.

LaurieStrode · 16/11/2023 13:42

Janeandme · 16/11/2023 13:35

Why would you not claim them and force your ex to pay, that makes no sense, he’s not a meal ticket for life.

This. What on earth??

Celebrationsnakes · 16/11/2023 13:56

I'm confused. Are you saying you'd rather claim money from your ex than claim benefits?

Bromptotoo · 16/11/2023 14:01

What benefits does your ex think you will get?

Can you give an overview of your circs including your age, number of kids/ages, whether you pay rent and if so how much and if you work, or have other income what it is. That should allow an estimate of Universal Credit etc.

I'm assuming you're single and do not have savings over £6,000. If either of those is wrong more info is needed.

UC disregards maintenance for your children but spousal maintenance reduces UC £/£.

With that info we can shine the light a bit further into the tunnel for you.

Janeandme · 16/11/2023 15:03

Op, if it’s a informal arrangement, he can just stop paying, he is only legally required to pay child maintenance as per the calculator.

after this it is up to you to finance yourself, by either getting a job, or claiming benefits. A court doesn’t need to force you, they won’t even be involved, you can choose to not claim, to starve and live on the street.

he seems to be playing nicely. He’s done this voluntarily so far but told you it needs to stop. Likely rightly so. So either claim the benefits, or get a job, or basically go hungry.

Combusting · 16/11/2023 15:05

If you are eligible for benefits, then you claim benefits.
If you are not eligible for benefits, then you do not claim benefits.

Some other person does not feed you.

Original poster
ctm2342 · 16/11/2023 18:06

I appreciate your answers, but it doesn't really answer the question.

If it came to it - would a court need to review both our financial situation as it stands, and they determine first if he has the ability to pay, before putting a burden on the state? Or I'm required to apply for benefits first, and then for the court to assess both our situation afterwards to see if it would be better for him to pay or me to continue with benefits.

I'm a single mum, daughter is 6 and a half, she lives with me but stays a few days a week with him. I have a part time 12 hour retail job. I live in the FMH (he owns and has mortgage on it - I can't on my income) and he's got his own place.

Obviously I'd rather figure out if I'm required to claim benefits in the first instance, before having to possibly fork out for a solicitor if they're likely just to tell me the same.

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 16/11/2023 18:13

Why not just apply? Your ex then has more money to spend on DD when she is with him. Surely you are in a vulnerable position if he is voluntarily paying you as he could just stop, lose his job or become self employed and creative with the books.

HappyAsASandboy · 16/11/2023 18:20

You wouldn't be required to apply for benefits, though you might be eligible to do so (not enough info here to know).

Are you and your DH divorced? If so, what does your Financial Order say? Even if it orders him to pay more than CMS levels, after 12 months he can apply to have the order varied anyway.

Having read your next posts, it sounds like you and your ex are not financially separated because he still pays the mortgage on the house you live in. Who owns it?

This all sounds like a mess TBH.

MidnightOnceMore · 16/11/2023 18:21

ctm2342 · 16/11/2023 18:06

I appreciate your answers, but it doesn't really answer the question.

If it came to it - would a court need to review both our financial situation as it stands, and they determine first if he has the ability to pay, before putting a burden on the state? Or I'm required to apply for benefits first, and then for the court to assess both our situation afterwards to see if it would be better for him to pay or me to continue with benefits.

I'm a single mum, daughter is 6 and a half, she lives with me but stays a few days a week with him. I have a part time 12 hour retail job. I live in the FMH (he owns and has mortgage on it - I can't on my income) and he's got his own place.

Obviously I'd rather figure out if I'm required to claim benefits in the first instance, before having to possibly fork out for a solicitor if they're likely just to tell me the same.

The court won't get into whether you claim benefits.

Just claim what you're entitled to.

The agreement you have with him is a separate conversation.

Lizzt2007 · 16/11/2023 18:33

ctm2342 · 16/11/2023 18:06

I appreciate your answers, but it doesn't really answer the question.

If it came to it - would a court need to review both our financial situation as it stands, and they determine first if he has the ability to pay, before putting a burden on the state? Or I'm required to apply for benefits first, and then for the court to assess both our situation afterwards to see if it would be better for him to pay or me to continue with benefits.

I'm a single mum, daughter is 6 and a half, she lives with me but stays a few days a week with him. I have a part time 12 hour retail job. I live in the FMH (he owns and has mortgage on it - I can't on my income) and he's got his own place.

Obviously I'd rather figure out if I'm required to claim benefits in the first instance, before having to possibly fork out for a solicitor if they're likely just to tell me the same.

No. Assuming you're in the uk you would be expected to maximise your personal income before they would consider spousal maintenance at all. It is extremely rare that spousal is awarded at all now. If you're fit and able to work then that's what you're expected to do, and the courts won't decree otherwise. With a child of 6 1/2 you would be expected to work in order to claim benefits as well. For that age you're expected to work or look for work for 30 hours per week. If she stays a few days a week with him then you may not be entitled to much child maintenance from him either.

MintJulia · 16/11/2023 18:42

Your ex doesn't have to pay you anything in excess of CM. He has judged that he can't afford to and is under no obligation to do so.

Whether you claim benefits or not is up to you. That is no business of either the court or your ex.

Lougle · 16/11/2023 18:46

I think you're a bit confused. Spousal maintenance is rare. Your ex DH isn't responsible for your upkeep. He is responsible for your child's upkeep, in part. If you can't live without his SM and are eligible for benefits, then you should claim them. A court isn't going to delve into the morals of benefits - if you're entitled to them, that's enough.

MrsMoastyToasty · 16/11/2023 18:50

Look at Entitled To website. See if you are eligible and if you are then make a claim. He'll never know unless you tell him.
Once you have a live claim it can mean that your national insurance contributions will be made, even if you don't get any payments.

LaurieStrode · 16/11/2023 18:52

I don't understand why you keep asking if you are "required" to claim benefits. Required by whom?

If you think the court is going to make him pay spousal support in any circumstances, whether or not you claim benefits, you may be sadly disappointed. It sounds as though he's been pretty generous already.

It is up to you to support yourself AND to provide at least 50 percent of your child's support. Have you looked at improving your earnings? What is your plan for a residence? Will the house be sold so that you and your ex can split the proceeds?

bombastix · 16/11/2023 18:54

If you needed spousal maintenance then you should have made a claim when you split. If you try now you will be laughed out of court. Put that claim in now for benefits.

Itsmehi222 · 16/11/2023 18:56

You’re over complicating it. Just apply for benefits and declare he doesn’t pay you anything which is true if he no longer pays you. It’s really as simple as that.

bombastix · 16/11/2023 18:57

Btw did you actually get divorced? It's not clear

Crikeyalmighty · 16/11/2023 19:03

Is he paying the mortgage- because benefits won't give you an allowance towards mortgages- only rent - if he is all fine

You will lose the right somewhat not to be hassled to up your hours

Sprogonthetyne · 16/11/2023 19:22

You can put his details into the CMS calculator to work out what he has to pay for your child, he is unlikely to be made to pay any more then that. He is also not responsible for your housing, so could stop paying the mortgage and insist the property is sold. No one is going to make you claim benifits, but it is likely you will need to once he stops paying (which he is free to do)

UpUpUpU · 16/11/2023 19:25

You seem a bit reliant OP. Wouldn’t you rather be able to stand on your own two feet rather than rely on him to keep you?

increase your hours if you child is in full time school as spends several nights with dad, there is no excuse there. Also beware that if dad is having your child 50% of the week, you aren’t actually entitled to any CM.

Do the calculation and take some responsibility for your own upkeep.

Sandalholidays12 · 16/11/2023 19:28

Ring CAB for advice. You need to work more than 12 hours a week of things turn sour you need a higher income OP.

Swipe left for the next trending thread