Am I being naive letting DH save in his name?

[Bilbymum]

Hello! First time thread creator. I have been a bit alarmed by another thread about a stingy husband and wanted to protect myself as…people can change! I think I’m moderately financially savvy but hoping for some other advice and opinions on angles I might not have considered. (I’ve been in the UK for about 5 years after moving from States.)
My husband and I have a similar base wage, and based on this we contribute equally to general expenses, and an “extras” fund (eg holidays, unexpected house expenses, nice meals out etc.)
However, he does extra shifts on weekends (in a job he enjoys, maybe this is of minor relevance as I appreciate there’s still a commute and it’s still “work”!) and I am therefore looking after the kids (toddlers) which I also see as work. We agreed the pay from extra shifts would go 1/3 into our “extras” fund (eg the holiday/rainy day one) and 2/3 saved into another super long term saving fund (eg not really to be touched in the next few decades even - almost as if for retirement!).
Here’s the issue (or is it a non issue?!) - the super long term savings go into an ISA in his name - there’s no such thing as a joint ISA in the UK it would seem. It seems most tax effective rather than into a regular joint savings account. However I’d feel a little more comfortable if my name was on the ISA account too.
To be fair any (small) bonuses I get, I put into my own ISA, and in my head this is for “us” in the future. I know he feels the same about his ISA, that it’s for “us”.
Here is where I’d appreciate perspective - Am I being naive in allowing him to put this extra shift money into his own ISA, and trusting all will be well in eg 20-30 years time? Should I be asking him to create an ISA in my name and put the extra earnings in there too? I don’t want to be in a classic “woman who had kids and missed out on XYZ” situation and would like to be on the front foot.
To add a bit of color to the picture, my husband is WAY more frugal and into saving than me - eg LOVES when I buy £1 jeans off Vinted, but also appreciates if I get him a new sweater if he needs one. I, on the other hand, love eating out, good food, entertainment and the idea of a spa day, but could never actually bring myself to pay £££ to indulge in one - possibly because I know I will get a few side comments from the husband if I did!
Appreciate your opinions and advice :) thank you!

As you say, you can't have a joint ISA so I suggest you both have individual ISAa and split your saving 50% between the two. Or have a normal joint savings account.

This is what we do. We make sure that we have similar amounts in our own ISAs.

It's the only fair to do it really.

Same here, split long term savings between our ISAs.

If you're an American citizen, I would not recommend opening an ISA since the obligation to file US tax returns (unless you renounce) means that it's a whole can of financial worms not worth opening imho.(US tax system doesn't treat gains within an ISA as tax free - they are simply potentially taxable gains).
Please take advice.

I think all that matters is transparency and both being good negotiators to figure out what works for you.

You'll get a thousand different examples of "fair shares" that work for others which won't necessarily work for you. They're good guides, tho, to help you understand potential problems and how other people navigate anything that feels unfair to you in your situation

We don’t have equal amounts in savings but we do sit down together every few months and input all balances into a spreadsheet so we have full transparency over each other’s accounts. In our minds it’s all joint, and I trust him

This is what I was going to say. If you're thinking about what would happen if you divorced, the ISA would be included as an asset to be split.

Thanks for all replies - we do this financial overview monthly (much to his chagrin!). We also have the “it’s all joint” mindset and I also trust him fully BUT I’m a bit risk averse and have heard so many stories of women getting screwed over.

To those kindly offering US tax advice, I’m actually not a US citizen but Australian despite living there. Sorry for any confusion!

To the responder with the divorce advice, I would hope the courts would be fair and split assets, taking into account things like child care, time off work for mat leave, mortgage contributions etc. though sounds like PIA. Not looking for one of course but as I said, risk averse and try to consider all possibilities.

I guess I’m thinking that in the future, I don’t want to be going to him and asking for handouts from saving pot that are in his name, what if he became a complete miser?! Perhaps for me personally it’d be better to put up a bit of a fight and awkwardness to have 2 equal ISAs/long term savings as some posters have suggested.

My motivation for being transparent with finances was because I didn't want to be trusted in those matters, I considered it too important. If anything has to hidden it signals problems to me. I've no interest in anyone else's money, I just don't want unpleasant surprises or unexpected stresses of a financial nature. Foundation of everything is a secure, warm home and food to eat & and knowledge of how well protected (or not) we are from normal life surprises like ill health, unemployment and essential things breaking before they happen 🤷‍♂️

I'm unapologetically boring in being safe and organised when it comes to money. Spontaneity is how what's allocated for fun is spent

@Bilbymum one thing I have sadly learned is that having separate savings in your own name can be helpful if in the far far future either of you needed care e.g. dementia.

You can also maximise ISA allowances.

You both earn equally but spend differently, this can be an issue, if he split the 2/3rds savings so you each had 1/3rd going into your account you would both need to ring fence this and only spend it if you both agreed e.g. to pay for a holiday.

Between the 2 of you you have £40k a year in ISA allowance so it makes sense to utilise it between you if you're able. For context most of our ISA money sits with me but only because I'm the one that manages all the money and DH is clueless but he does have £20k of our money in an ISA.

I sought advice on this and was told that as long as you are married it doesn't matter if it's just in his name, in the event of a split you would still have rights to that.

Why wouldn’t he just put equal in your name?

my wife actually has more assets in her name as I’m a high earner and it’s more tax efficient. I’m screwed if she ever decides to trade me in

FYI - the court absolutely does not take things like child care and mat leave into consideration. They look at all the assets and debt as at the time of separation and make a decision based on housing needs and current earnings for both parties.

This. Put it equally between 2 names.

It looks as though things are reasonably equal and you have your own savings too, so I wouldn’t get too worried about splitting the savings in two names.

It would be different if you were the lower earner putting nearly all your money into the bills pot while he had control over the spending money and he had all savings (which is a reality for many women I know).

I think all that matters is transparency and both being good negotiators to figure out what works for you. You'll get a thousand different examples of "fair shares" that work for others which won't necessarily work for you

Agree with this.

The vast majority of our savings are in my name at the moment and they can't be split equally (because it's an employer sharesave scheme). It doesn't bother dh at all and splitting our savings equally would have resulted in a far lower return.

Thank you, the responses have been valuable from hearing different opinions, and overturning some of my assumptions which now require re-examination so for that I am grateful. I will make the case to ensure our savings pots are equal. Going on mat leave soon and will be running down both our savings, so a great excuse to bring this up. Thanks again! :)

ISA stands for an individual savings allowance and so these will never be joint. Personally I think it’s unhealthy to have everything in joint names due to possible financial abuse.

If the extra money is for retirement why not suggest that it goes into a LISA instead funds are locked in for longer but it would depend on your age and if you are staying in the UK for your retirement. https://www.gov.uk/lifetime-isa

If you're looking after the DC while he does these extra shifts, there's no way I'd tolerate anything other than an equal split/full joint access. If he wants to work overtime to fund savings in his own name only, he'll need to pay for childcare instead.