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Receiving UC and helping out ex

2 replies

JBelleJ · 14/11/2023 05:27

Hello,
I have tried endlessly to research this question on Google but to no avail. Anyway, I am a single mum in receipt of UC. I work full time and live with my wonderful parents as well as my DD. I pay them rent each month. I am legally married but we have been separated for almost five years; the same amount of time we have lived apart.
My EX and I are still very good friends and look out for one another. Two years ago he suffered a mental breakdown which meant he went from a considerably good wage to pretty much half due to decreasing his hours. He privately rents and due to mounting debt, bills etc accumulating over those past two years, it impacted his mental health but also his financial strain.
About a year ago I offered to help him financially whilst he tries to get back on even footing. It has also given him breathing room to increase his client base without stressing. Beforehand, he had had panic attacks at work and had been sent home due to his poor mental health so I feel this has most definitely helped by relieving the pressure.
I try and give as much as I can whilst still being able to pay my bills, provide for DD, have a quality of life and not suffer for the loss.
His wage is due to increase post Christmas so it won’t be so much of a strain for me which is a blessing.
I have heard about the DWP clamping down on claimants committing fraud which makes complete sense. Obviously, all of the information I gave them years ago was/is completely correct and I have absolutely no hidden bank accounts, undisclosed income coming in etc but I was curious as to whether sending money to help would be classed as a red flag or an issue? I’m not even sure if this is potentially a grey area? I’m sure it wouldn’t be if it was to help a friend or family member, I’m just not sure in this context?
Thank you!

OP posts:
Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 14/11/2023 05:33

You're financially supporting your husband who you aren't divorced from despite being on a low income and having care of your child? Stop. Stop doing that. Jesus Christ. And yes, it could definitely definitely look as if you're still a couple and financially linked. Why didn't you just support him to claim UC if he's that hard up? I can't imagine how you thought this was a normal thing to do. Even if you were financially comfortable it would be weird but you're on benefits!

raven0007 · 14/11/2023 05:40

I think it's what's going into your accounts that they're checking rather than what's going out.
I work and get UC top up, and also send money to my ex husband now and then. Same situation separated but not divorced.
Are you on the council tax account at your parents? And how big are the amounts you send to your husband? That's where the issue will be, if you're claiming to be a single parent but sending amounts large enough to look like contributions towards his rent and bills then it looks as though you are living with him. I send £50ish now and then when he needs it, but I also have my own home and he has his so we are obviously not living together and the amount is so small it wouldn't be anything to worry about.

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