Constantly worried about losing everything

[FearofFunds]

Husband earns £55k. We have a £180k mortgage plus £40k help to buy. I did earn £14k a year pro rata but currently on maternity leave which ends soon. I'm so worried about money.. at the moment we are surviving just on my husbands money and it's fine, we aren't having to go without but we don't have money for savings. We have about £9k debt which we're paying off monthly, above minimum. Our savings are wiped from buying our house, covering my loss of wages etc. We need to build these back up but with two small kids it's hard. I'm currently trying to figure out how the hell I return to work as it's very difficult to juggle around school and nursery and my husbands hours as it all falls to me. Nursery fees will eat up almost my entire wage. We have 2.5 years left until our mortgage fix is up, and interest becomes due on help to buy. Everything is just getting more and more expensive. I'm constantly worried that my partner could lose his job (he manages a business owned by someone else who is now in his 90s and I'm terrified he'll sell it or close it down) and I just feel so on edge that everything is going to fall apart. Does anyone else feel like this? Do I sound right to worry? Would you worry in this situation? We do have ways we could save/make more money, we have a more expensive car than we need, our kids won't be nursery age forever etc, I can up my hours but there is also a chance we could lose a lot of money each month if my husband did lose his job as we'd struggle to find another where we are that pays as well. I'm sick of the worrying

I understand the worry and I am definitely like that too. However, all you can do is try to line yourself up to earn as much as possible. People mention retraining in case that gets you a better paid job and for that look at local jobs and see what pays better and that you could realistically qualify for. Otherwise it can be picking up extra work when your husband isn't working so you have childcare. If you enjoy childcare being a childminder can allow you to combine both.

At the end of the day if you lose it all financially, you would still be together and you would still have a roof over your heads. You will be OK.

I've just noticed that whilst on maternity my band has gone up in pay so I'm no longer at the top of my band and my pay will go up to £28k in a couple of years. So it probably is worth hanging on to the role. It isn't clinical, no. I'm 28.

£28k pro rata, that is.

How long has your h been in his job? What’s his notice period? I don’t know if it reassures you to know that he would get redundancy if the worst were to happen and the company got sold. If you were to work out how much money this was it might reassure you that if he did lose his job he would be entitled to £x to support him.

I also wonder if you could get a second weekend or evening job. Even cleaning for 3 hours a week could give you £30 a week or £1500 a year (although in my area cleaners get £15 per hour). I personally don’t think you need it but maybe it would help you to feel more secure if you could use it to build up savings.

28 is young in the NHS so you have loads of time. If you are not interested in Clinical roles the higher paying roles in the NHS are in commissioning and procurement which can often be done remotely. Look into training in this area I think it is CIPS. In your current role push for training and development opportunities too.

It is a good thing that you have started to question how you can secure your financial future more.

It’s your DHs job that is the issue as it’s going to change that’s for sure with the age of the owner.

I would be asking what the future plans for the company are. Is other family involved. Is there a possibility that he can take over the business. How long has he worked there. What is the relationship to the owner etc etc. These are very key questions that have a big impact on the future.

In addition many people in your situation do work and take the hit that they’re not actually earning any money really after childcare for a limited period of time, but they are paying into pension, building their future careers and once childcare costs are reduced their disposable income increases as well as their career trajectory. But I accept that childcare is expensive and also has to be funded well into early school years with holidays etc.

if you can afford to I’d wait till the kids are at school before going back to work as your wage would likely be taken up by nursery fees and would just add a level of stress you likely don’t need.

you have 2.5 years till fixed is up , IR will likely be in the 2-3% range by then. Try and clear debt over next couple years and break things into smaller chunks time wise - look at the next couple years as - clear debt , return to work when kids go to school. Once at that stage approach the next years after that as a smaller chunk of time with goals