Child support payment contribution

[Adviceneeded6060]

Hi, I'm after some other people's opinons as I've found myself having some unwanted arguments with my partner. Here goes...

I have recently moved in with my girlfriend of 5yrs. She has a 17yr old daughter from a previous relationship. She receives approx £350pm from the father is CSA.

In deciding how much I should pay toward our monthly living costs my girlfriend has calculated all the bills (mortgage, insurance, gas, electric, water, sky tv, tv license) and simply divided this total amount by 2, asking me to pay half.

I have raised the issue that I think a contribution to the total bills before it is divided in 2 should be made out of the CSA she gets from the father as that money is for the daughters usage of electricity, water, mortgage etc. I've suggested a figure of 20% of the £350 to contribute towards the household bills.

I've also suggested that a further 20% be contributed towards the separate food bill before it is halved.

My girlfriend has taken a real issue with this saying the £350 she gets is way less that it costs her to pay for the daughter, mentioning this money goes to pay for clothing, pocket money, days out with boyfriend, unplanned expenses and holiday contributions.
My girlfriend does pay in full for her daughter to go on holiday with us each year, and the dad pays nothing towards it.
My argument to that is, holidays are luxury purchases not factored into CSA and it's up to my girlfriend and her daughters dad to come to some agreement on any extra contribution she wants him to pay towards a foreign holiday. He'd likely refuse as he begrudges paying what he does already, and he never takes his daughters on holiday so he couldn't say it balances itself out.

Am I being mean wanting some contribution from the CSA money she gets each month.

Ultimately I'm not her daughters dad and it ranckles me that I'm being asked to pay half of everything like I am?

One other factor to mention is when I moved in with my girlfriend my monthly outgoings even if I paid half of everything have significantly reduced. The rent I was paying in my apartment was twice what her mortgage was. She also raises this as a reason why I shouldn't complain, but I think that's irrelevant when working the bills out.

Advice needed please...

Yeah you are both committing fraud with the council tax thing… which as adults I’m sure you both no.

Effectively you should be paying 1/3 of the combined bills if its that much of a problem...plus the difference in her council tax if she was getting single discount.

But, that csa money will stop presumably when the child turns 18, so then what's the plan?

Never given that much though yet if I'm honest. I'll sort the council tax out asap. Gulp!

The daughter works part time on weekends in a department store while studying a levels. Not sure if she'll go to uni, she hasn't decided although she's clever enough, and I think she should. From what I gather, and I haven't enquired as its none of my business my girlfriend and the daughters dad as well as my girlfriends mother have been saving for years (long before I came on the scene) to pay for uni fees. I don't know how much they've saved but it's thousands. She wouldn't struggle though uni.

@Adviceneeded6060

I'm not going to fall out with her, I'll just pay to keep peace and harmony but I just wanted to know what other people thought.

Maybe you should reconsider living together, move back into your previous home and just date instead. Perhaps move into an executive house share whilst the renovations on the old property proceeds. 🌹

I agree - you should be paying a third of all bills not half. You shouldn’t be paying anything towards the mortgage or house renovations and your partner should actually be insisting you don’t.

I can understand where you're coming from but your partner is also subsidising her daughter. You on the other hand are also living in their home. And her daughter is still a child.

I'm not sure what the solution is as it should have been sorted before you move in.

You are honestly being very greedy and silly 🤬

The dd costs far more than 350 a month. Her mother also needs to support her education and help her with university.

if you are saving money by moving in and then quibbling over 70 or 140 a month then this is not the arrangement for you.

You come across as very grabby.
You think your effect on the bills is negligible? So what you're saying is, out of you both living together and earning the same only you should benefit?

If 2 adults are using gas and electric in a home, you think the first to move in should pay the majority of the bill... is that right?

You want to move in but not be fully part of the family unit, despite being together for 5 years. Why?

Relationship is clearly all about money. Red flag?