HELP! where do I stand?

[butterfli]

any help gratefully received! I am 24 weeks pregnant, and have split up with the baby's father. There is NO WAY we will be getting back together!(I have an 8 yr old princess by a different father. )
we were only together for 10 months and never lived together.
He is verbally abusive, and has made threats regarding custody of the unborn baby, naming of the baby and more.
What rights does he have? do I have to put him on the birth certificate? can he register the birth himself without me there?
Can he go for full custody? please help!

you're not married so he can't register the birth himself - you need to be there, you'll be given the appropriate paper work at the hopsital not him

dh, who was df at time, wasn't allowed to register dd1 when she was born but because we were married by time dd2 came along I sent him up on his own

He can not register the birth without you unless you are married.

I cant help with the other stuff. Sorry.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

He can not register the birth without you unless you are married.

I cant help with the other stuff. Sorry.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Ooops

No he doenst have a right to be named on the birth certificate, only if married and he cannot register the birth himself. I dont think he has any rights at all if the mother doesnt want him involved but I'm not 100% on that.

Best to get him out of your life soon and before the baby is born. Perhaps other people know more for sure as I think things have changed to favour the unmarried dad in recent years.

with regards to him threatening you over custody etc I think you'll need to seek proper advice through the CAB or similar

to keep you right though I would start to keep a log of whats happening/when its happening and whats being said - just so its straight in your mind

being pg is stressful enough without someone like him adding to that - please don't let him upset you, recognise the fact you've had a lucky escape and do everything above board so he hasn't a leg to stand on

He is trying to scare you - only you can register the baby and I STRONGLY advise you to NOT put his name down - if you do, he gets all sorts of automatic rights that he may use to make your life hell. He will have a say over her medical care, education, where she lives (ie if you emigrate or something) etc....

I would advise you to leave him off the cert and he can take you to court for parental responsibility if he wants it (if he even knows about it!). He would probably get it but at least he'd have to fight for it first.

Thanks guys, have been so worried.! he has a nak of getting inside my head!
he says the most horrible things, and in a weird way I start to question myself!!!

That's mental abuse for you... it is really wicked and they are so good at it!

If you ever have any doubts - ask here, someone will know

Keep calm all the time too - then you will give him nothing to bring against you; well, nothing that will stand up in court if it got that far!

Good luck with your pregnancy... enjoy it and relish the thought that he is just a twat

Thanks lewisfan. have you seen my other threads? if you get a chance, maybe yo could look at them and give me your opinion? thanks again for your support! x

thank-you also to all other supports! x

sorry, just seen this message - will see if I can find them

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He only goes on the birth certificate if he comes with you to register the birth, as I understand it. Why not call the registry office and ask, tell them you don't want to give your name. I'm sure they've been asked before and will give you a straighforward answer

That is the only way he can go on the birth certificate, he has to go with you when you register childs birth. He cant go by himself

Butterfli, you really do need to get some good legal advice. Try the CAB or indeed Women's Aid, because once you know what the law says he will not be able to frighten or upset you with his bullshit any more. THere is no way he would be given custody of a newborn when you have done nothing wrong but he has been verbally and physically abusive, so please don;t worry about that for a single second.
But the idea of keeping a log of every crap thing he does is a good one.

INTERNET INFO: The mother of a child, and the father if he is married to the mother, automatically have parental responsibility. Where the parents are not married to each other, the father will acquire parental responsibility if he acts with the mother to have his name recorded in the child's birth registration on or after 1 December 2003. An unmarried father can also obtain parental responsibility by later marrying the child's mother, by making a parental responsibility agreement with her or by getting a court order. You may wish to think about this if you have other children. If you need further information or advice, you should call Parentline Plus on 0808 800 2222.

Also, as you are not married - he cannot register the baby unless you are there.

Thank-you SO much again for all your advise! I will call parentline plus tomorrow..... thanks joash. x

hello guys! Just wanted to let you know that I have phoned parent-line plus this morning...(thanks again joash) and they have confirmed that he has no rights whatsoever at this stage!!!!! (smile) i don't have to put him on the birth certificate, he cannot go for custody, does not have any parental responsability and cannot demand to be at the birth! he can go through the courts to gain access and parental responsability in the future if he wishes. So today I feel a LOT stronger and happier. xxx

BRILLIANT Butterfli - glad it's put your mind at rest X

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thanx mummylin.