Am I being unreasonable to not want to move/remortgage?

[Welshrarebitz]

Hello all.

dh and I were self employed up until 2022. Our business was already struggling pre-covid, however lockdown was the final nail in the coffin. We ended up losing our business and racking up serious debts, on top of some debt that we already had for renovations.

fast forward to now… we are both working full time bringing home a combined monthly income of about 7.2k. We still have 100k of secured debts which is obviously a huge concern. I have done all that I can to get the debts in as low interest as possible. We have a relatively low mortgage on our house which is width around 300k.

dh wants us to either remortgage, or sell the house,clear the debts and start again. I am dead against this. For me, our house is our security, I am very against securing unsecured debt against our home, or using equity etc.

currently our fixed monthly costs for absolutely everything are £4100. This also includes the mortgage and contractual debt payments. This means that we have about 3k that we can use to overpay the debts. I’ve worked out a plan where we can be completely clear of the unsecured debt in 4 years, without remortgaging or selling up. We would also be able to have a sensible amount of monthly Money for a bit of ‘life stuff’- I see no value in something overly punitive.

would you do it my way, or dh’s?

I’d go facts

cost of debts your way
cost of debts his way

work out the sums

I’d do it your way. You have an affordable repayment plan and can carry on paying the mortgage and being a homeowner. 4 years is not a long time to become debt free.

Definitely your way. Don't give up your security unless you absolutely have to, which you don't.

Definitely your way.

If you've done it right and minimised interest, remortgaging now is likely to cost far more than your current plan, especially if you take longer than 4 years to pay the debt off. And you'd be mad to give up a secure home to rent instead.

You've posted about this a few times before haven't you? If you have, I remember that your numbers all looked OK in that the 4 year plan was realistic, and that's while still having a reasonable lifestyle. I hope it's going well and you'll get through this. In any case, stand firm against your DHs plan to unnecessarily rock the boat.

Absolutely your way! Get paying!

I never swap unsecured debt for secured debt.

Fiddle with interest rates and so on. But unsecured debt isn't actually worrisome, not really.

Definitely your way. Never set debt against your home unless there is absolutely no alternative.

If you move you'll incur all the stress, disruption and unnecessary moving costs, and even finding a house to buy at the moment is a tall order.

Stay put, keep your costs low and you'll be clear in four years.

💯 your way. 4 years isn't too horrific tbh for that amount of debt. Once paid you will still be home owners.

dh wants us to either remortgage, or sell the house,clear the debts and start again

He just wants to put a big scribble through all the shit of the last few years and get that 'fresh start' peace of mind mindset. Understandable but unwise and your way is 100% the way to go.

I would write a detailed forecast of 'your way'. With big bold headings of today's date, summary of your position, plan, summary of the end position. And present it to him as your fresh start, from today. It may help him change his mindset.