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Original poster

Debt stress and feeling ashamed

57 replies

Hoisinbin · 27/10/2023 07:15

Morning,

Had anyone just walked blindly into debt? We’re early 40’s, good jobs (combined 110kpa)
but we have 50-60k of debt between us. I’m angry and pissed off that we’ve let it happen, I’m also ashamed that as two supposedly educated people with good jobs, we’ve managed to be utter financial cockwombles.

we’re not struggling to pay etc but we need to sort it now. Cards are all chopped up etc.

everyone around is seems to be financially sorted and I feel like we’re the only ones to have this level of debt.

pleas tell me that we’re not alone 😫

OP posts:

ThreeCanKeepASecret · 28/10/2023 13:50

Debtfreegoals · 28/10/2023 10:18

I also have an excel budget for a rolling 12 months and pretty much stick to it. I think if you’re serious about clearing this debt OP, it will start with the budget and you may have to live a stripped back lifestyle until it’s cleared.

Show quote history

Yes to stripped back life, boring but I didn’t go on holiday for four years. Other priorities plus paying off this balance.

pocketpairs · 30/10/2023 16:49

Careless is a better word than ashamed. But with your current income level, you should be able to pay off
It off in a few short years.

Beenhereforever1978 · 30/10/2023 17:23

@BarbaraofSeville thanks for your post, I've just gone and changed all my CCard direct debts!

crabette · 31/10/2023 01:22

Movingstresss · 27/10/2023 07:29

Me and my DP are a similar situation if it makes you feel better . We have a combined income of about 108k. but have about 35k in debt. We are selling our house so when we do we are getting rid of it all and I can't wait . We have only just got to this level of earning 4 years ago it was about £65k. And we bought a house , had a year mat leave so that's where it's from. We can budget with what we have now after paying the debt and still have holidays etc.

Although I am kicking myself and annoyed at us that we have 90k equity in the house and 35k is going on debt .

Edited

@Movingstresss Did you find this easy to do?

DP and I have a combined income of about £80k, about £40k equity and £15k debt. (So no OP you're not alone!)

I don't know why it never occurred to me that we still might be able to move house if we commit to paying the £15k with some of the equity!

youveturnedupwelldone · 31/10/2023 08:44

Whilst debt is now part of every day life, I don't think we should be normalising £60k. Actually with combined income of £110k whether you can "afford" the debt or not depends entirely on your living situation. Living in the SE - probably you're in a bind. Living far up north - prospects of paying it off are better.

People usually say they can afford the debt if they can make the minimum payments, but you're not actually paying it off in any meaningful way if you're doing that.

That said, you aren't alone and people have paid off as much but it usually means a significant lifestyle change or a debt solution like a debt management plan. DMP usually allows for the interest to be frozen but will affect your credit status.

I'd make your way to the money saving expert debt free wannabe forum, there are lots of people who can help you make a plan to repay.

I speak as a formerly in quite a lot of debt and now all paid off person who also has experience working in debt management!

PegasusReturns · 31/10/2023 08:51

I did in the past and had a really tight couple of years, I can’t even claim the money was accumulated on anything worthwhile, it was just excess spending.

it felt manageable until it didn’t and then I worked really hard to reduce it - I used the snowball method as a psychological crutch but really I had to fundamentally change my habits.

my situation is very different now and whilst I can pretty much buy as I please now, I have to be mindful as I can slip into stupid habits

travelnorth · 31/10/2023 09:24

You are not alone. We were in a similar situation, pay it all back with quite a lot effort and a bit of luck. Now we have just the mortgage left to pay. The good thing is that you are taking back control. Focus on it. Do not be too hard on yourself things have been hard for all in the last few years.

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