Will Advice Please

[McIntire]

DH and I are long overdue sorting our wills so trying to get onto it now but have reached a bit of a sticking point.

We have 4 DCs.
DC1 is mine with XH
So DH’s DSS & XH has no other DCs
DC’s 2 3 & 4 are with DH

If anything happens to DH or I the other will be sole beneficiary but it’s on the event of their subsequent death we can’t seem to sort out or agree on.

How would you divide this up in the fairest way?

TIA

I would treat all 4 children equally.

You need to see an estate planner. Unless you sort it out legally and safely now, your DC could end up with all sorts of problems, with the risk that one set of children could end up with nothing from your joint assets.
An estate planner is not the same as a solicitor. Some solicitors are up to speed on estate planning and some are not.

Could you explain why please?

Surely if we just name them in the will there shouldn’t be any problems

When you say "the will", whose will do you mean? If you die first and you have left everything to your DH, he could change his will immediately, he could be persuaded to change his will, he might marry again and his existing will would be invalidated.
I know so many children of blended families who have lost everything (and I mean personal effects and family heirlooms of great sentimental value) just because arrangements were not made correctly. This happened in my own family and was a source of great sadness.
I know so many people who have had bad experiences due to bad planning.

You have already said you and DH can't agree. That does not bode well for your DC1 if you die first.

I'd be inclined to split everything 50/50 and leave your 50% equally split between your children. You can add a lifetime interest in the house for each other so it can't be sold until the second spouse dies but they also can't disinherit the children by remarrying or changing will.

If your dh was to die first op then you're right, if you name all the kids on the will it should be straightforward as all the kids are yours. That's assuming you don't remarry, in which case you'd have to make a new will otherwise your new husband would inherit the lot. On the other hand if you were to die first, there'd be absolutely nothing stopping your dh altering his will to leave everything to his blood children, as once it is his legally your wishes become irrelevant. If he were to subsequently remarry then his will would also become void and unless he made another one if he died before his new partner she would automatically inherit his estate, and therefore your childrens potential inheritance. Sadly this scenario is not uncommon.

Surely it doesn’t actually matter what your joint will says if one of you dies first? The surviving spouse would write a new will saying whatever they want it to?

If you definitely want the money to go to your children, you’d need to leave it to your children. 50% to surviving spouse and 50% divided between five children?

What are disagreeing on? What do you want to happen and what does he want?

I know of one lady who was dying of cancer with young children who was so worried her husband would not spend her money on school fees she made her mother and sistr her heirs as she knew they would spend the money on school fees not a new house and not on a new woman or later chidlren.

I would leave your own assets to your own 4 children equally and your husband should leave his to his own biological children. you could do it with perhaps half to the pouse and rest as I suggest immeditely so that the children are not cut ouf by a new wicked step mother or because widowed husband decides to bet it all on the horses.

Own the house as tenants in common leave DH a life interest (including right to downsize) and split your 50% equally amongst the children.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts.

@endofthelinefinally
DH and I are not arguing about this and DS1 will be fine.

It’s not really a disagreement, we’re just going round in circles trying to work out the best solution, and then end up doing nothing!

So you have 4, DH has 3.

So each of your children inherit 12.5%, your 50%
DH children inherit 16.33%, his 50%

So eldest gets 12.5% plus inheritance from their Dad

Others get 28.33% each

What matters is getting the right advice so the estate is managed legally and correctly. So many people don't take care to get it right.
PP is correcy about making sure you are tenants in common wrt the property.

Yes. It needs sorting properly

I will google ‘tenants in common’ thanks