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Original poster

Paying off 'my half' of the mortgage?

74 replies

Financiallyopposite · 01/10/2023 09:49

I live with my partner of 8 years and our two DC. We keep separate finances which bothers me tremendously as I don't feel we're a unit, but on the other hand it might be a blessing because imho he's terrible with money, saving, planning for the future etc.
I'm the lower earner but I have more of a handle on things, save for upcoming expenses, long term savings etc.
I loosely follow the Dave Ramsey method and it's really helping me get back on track (my money situation wasn't great after having to eat through my savings self funding 2 mat leaves and working PT whilst looking after young children). One of the steps is paying off the mortgage which I'd like to aim to do. This would take me a long time of course, but I'm just wondering the best way to go about it when I'd only be paying off 'my half'. My plan is to squirrel the money away until I have the lump sum years down the road. Thinking ahead obviously, would I then have to see a solicitor to have something drawn up to say my half is fully paid?
Many thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Financiallyopposite · 01/10/2023 10:16

@Meeting it's not for everyone and that's ok. It works for other people and that's ok too.
As I said I follow it loosely, I'm not 'beans and rice', I strike a balance. It's more the principles/steps I follow and they've really helped me.
I don't particularly agree with some of his values as a person but there's no denying his methods have helped people get more financially stable.

OP posts:
cptartapp · 01/10/2023 10:40

You shouldn't self fund mat leave. The costs should be split proportionately to income.
If you work or because you're providing your partner free childcare, he needs to compensate you for that. Is he topping up
your pension too??
Pay into a joint account for bills and family outgoings % wise relative to income. He earns three times more, he pays in three times more. You each save or spend the rest of your incomes as you wish.
You're being had.

JudgeRudy · 01/10/2023 10:42

I'll assume you own the house 50/50. Becoming tenants in common is the best way, so you each separatly own 50% each rather than 100% between you both.
This would give you the option of 'squirrels away' or simply paying a bit extra in each month.
My real question to myself though would be do you think this relationship will go the distance. You've mentioned using your savings whilst you were on maternity leave and the lack of joint finances. Not much mention of we. Are you subconsciously planning for complete independence?

cptartapp · 01/10/2023 10:44

Reading on, I wouldn't assume he would have the DC half of the time if you split. The vast majority of men don't, regardless of what they threaten.
Prepare to be a LP financially and psychologically. He doesn't sound like one of life's good guys.

determinedtomakethiswork · 01/10/2023 10:47

I imagine he doesn't want to share finances because he doesn't want you to know the complete mess he's in.

Summerhillsquare · 01/10/2023 10:59

I did it with a deed of trust.

Caused simmering resentment down the line though, he's now ExDH.

smallshinybutton · 01/10/2023 11:02

JudgeRudy · 01/10/2023 10:42

I'll assume you own the house 50/50. Becoming tenants in common is the best way, so you each separatly own 50% each rather than 100% between you both.
This would give you the option of 'squirrels away' or simply paying a bit extra in each month.
My real question to myself though would be do you think this relationship will go the distance. You've mentioned using your savings whilst you were on maternity leave and the lack of joint finances. Not much mention of we. Are you subconsciously planning for complete independence?

No no no. This is wrong. This is not linked in anyway to the mortgage. OP could pay 90% of the mortgage and still only own the house 50%

Lovemycat2023 · 01/10/2023 11:19

I would recommend you see both a financial advisor and a solicitor. Some of the advice on here is just plain wrong. You will need to be able to articulate your concerns and what you want to achieve and they can set out the various options so you can take an informed decision. Good luck!

JudgeRudy · 01/10/2023 13:15

smallshinybutton · 01/10/2023 11:02

No no no. This is wrong. This is not linked in anyway to the mortgage. OP could pay 90% of the mortgage and still only own the house 50%

Show quote history

Youve misunderstood. For clarity, what I was suggesting was that they each own 50% and each have a mortgage. If she wants to pay hers off quicker that's her perogative. Obs these assets would be ringfencex

Waspie · 01/10/2023 13:24

Why the comments about how the house is owned? This is irrelevant to the mortgage which is a joint a joint debt. If OP paid off "her half" but her partner didn't pay anything, the mortgage holder would still, eventually, repossess the property. You can't get individual mortgages for part of the house value.

OP would be better off putting the additional funds in a pension.

piglet81 · 01/10/2023 13:29

JudgeRudy · 01/10/2023 13:15

Youve misunderstood. For clarity, what I was suggesting was that they each own 50% and each have a mortgage. If she wants to pay hers off quicker that's her perogative. Obs these assets would be ringfencex

Show quote history

I don’t think that’s possible - you can’t secure a mortgage on half an asset.

JudgeRudy · 01/10/2023 13:32

piglet81 · 01/10/2023 13:29

I don’t think that’s possible - you can’t secure a mortgage on half an asset.

Show quote history

You can. That's exactly what tenants in common are. Obviously it doesn't have to be a 50/50 split and it could be more than 2 people. It's not unsusal at all especially with friends or unmarried couples.

piglet81 · 01/10/2023 13:38

Tenants in common refers to ownership of the property - the mortgage is a separate thing.

smallshinybutton · 01/10/2023 13:43

piglet81 · 01/10/2023 13:38

Tenants in common refers to ownership of the property - the mortgage is a separate thing.

Exactly thank you!

MikeRafone · 01/10/2023 13:45

Without having joint finances you can still work together to pay off the mortgage - its in both your interests (pun not intended) as you'd both save money in interest to the bank.

Can you "sell" him the thought of having more money ultimately and saving thousands in interest?

If you can both overpay the mortgage, even £100 a month you will pay the debt quicker and see money. Either £100 each or £50 each would chip away slowly but save.

If you want to give approximate figures, mortgage length left and interest rate along with total left to pay, I can happily give you some figure to help your sales pitch

Hollyhobbi · 01/10/2023 13:53

Holding a house as tenants in common also comes into play when a house is being sold too not just when one of the owners die. I've come across aa house held by eigth owners as tenants in common! Also can't see ops partner paying extra in every month! Doesn't sound like they have any extra in the first place.

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 01/10/2023 14:01

Because you own the property as tenants in common rather than jointly there are some things that may be possible, you'd need proper legal advice on it to see if doable.

You could get a deed of trust drawn up. E.g. house is worth £150K currently, £80K left of mortgage, £70K equity. You pay off extra £40K to pay off what you would have had left on mortgage when you next remortgage. You get a deed of trust stating that anything the house is worth over £150K you get 50/50, then for the rest of the equity you get your £75K and he gets the rest. Basically if he still had £10K mortgage to go he'd get £65K to your 75K. Not sure if that kind of wording is possible or not, he would need to agree to it also which he may not. Then he can remortgage for the last £40K over whatever terms he needs and he is paying it off himself - but lenders would be unlikely to put a mortgage in his name alone when you own the house too, so you'd still need to be on (and therefore liable for) the mortgage. Basically would protect your input in ownership but not liability.

I agree look at high interest savings accounts, pension etc. Consider if this is relationship you want to be in long term. Work in increasing your financial stability for now, thwn you could then use your savings to bolster your deposit on a new home after break up.

bonzaitree · 01/10/2023 14:10

OP, as good as MN is, posting on the MSE forum might get you some more precise financial advice.

Regarding this relationship, it doesn’t sound like you want it to continue. How old are your kids?

Beckafett · 01/10/2023 14:11

Meeting · 01/10/2023 10:07

Eugh I can't stand the Dave Ramsey crap.

Basically his message is live like a pauper and don't even dream of spending a penny on anything at all until you've cleared your debts (mortgage). It seems absolutely miserable and his followers spend their time obsessing over every pound the earn/spend. It would be hell to live with someone like this.

I'm the same as the OP, it's is possible to follow the loose principles. Loads of people manage money really badly and the steps themselves make sense.

AutumnAuntie · 01/10/2023 21:25

OP in your circumstances I’d prioritise paying into your pension, that way only you benefit from it.

Hitchens · 02/10/2023 06:47

Whilst some of Dave Ramsey's method is valid, I'd urge you to look at it again and compare against some other more recent models. His step of investing 10-15% for retirement likely isn't sufficient due to expected longer retirements etc.

Also, I saw one of his videos recently where he said something and I just can't take him seriously anymore and he has lost all credibility with me. He tells his children that they have to live 'by God's word' if they want to get any of his money as inheritance (so that is coercive and controlling behaviour) and he thinks all money is God's money, not our money. Craaaaazzzzzy?!

hattie43 · 02/10/2023 06:58

PaminaMozart · 01/10/2023 09:52

No no no!!!

It doesn't work like that. If you do this, he'll still get half of any equity when you come to sell.

Put the money in your pension instead - you'll also get 25% tax relief on contributions.

Exactly this. Imo you'd be better fully funding a pension for yourself . Although an asset if you split up you'll get tax relief and have an income / lump sum when you retire. Either that or I'd have a large escape fund he doesn't know about .

whattttttodo · 02/10/2023 07:05

If you put it in your pension as some are advising if you were to split could it be considered a joint asset? I know it is if you are married but not sure if you're not.

Another option is put some in sticks and shares or a trust for your children this could help with house deposit or uni.

Toooldtoworry · 02/10/2023 07:35

JudgeRudy · 01/10/2023 13:32

You can. That's exactly what tenants in common are. Obviously it doesn't have to be a 50/50 split and it could be more than 2 people. It's not unsusal at all especially with friends or unmarried couples.

Show quote history

Previous mortgage adviser, current financial adviser.

Any joint mortgage you are jointly and severally liable. So, if you paid a lump sum equivalent to 50% of the mortgage and then the other party to the mortgage stops paying you are responsible to make the payments.

Tenants in Common is how you own the legal title to the property. So upon separation or death it is set out what percentage of the property you owned.

AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 08:03

f you put it in your pension as some are advising if you were to split could it be considered a joint asset? I know it is if you are married but not sure if you're not.
It’s not.