My SIL is spending her great aunts money and she's not even dead yet

[allabitdodge]

My SIL and my MIL have both kept an eye on aunty Doreen over the years (She's MILs aunt, SILs great aunt.) Lots of days out, taking to appointments etc, and Im guessing that it hasnt been easy as she descended into dementia; she is now in a care home. Mil and sil facilitated aunty going into a home, and sold aunty's house and all the contents a while back, to pay for her care. However, my sil has recently admitted that her and her mum have taken tens of thousands from aunts bank account 'So that it doesn't go to the dog's home.' They say it is to compensate them for the care they have given Doreen over the years and because her will is a bit mad apparently so they weren't confident they'd get much. To say that I am gobsmacked at this admission is putting it mildy. Surely this is going to come back and bite them on the bum?? I don't know what to say to them...they feel so entitled to the inheritance that they seem to have no idea that what they are doing is just totally wrong. You cant get away with raiding a persons estate when they are still living and breathing can you??

Oooh they are going to be in so much trouble. Apart from depreciation of assets, it’s also stealing/fraud.

As far as I know no one would be able to do this as the money belongs to the care home until it goes down to a certain level , the care home takes the money until it reaches a certain level £22000? . When her pension goes in they will take that . So even if they were , it's stealing from the care home . They would get caught .

If they have power of attorney, they should be reported to the Office of the Public Guardian.
If the money is burned through in care fees and she gets assessed, the Council could well come after them for Deprivation of assets.
Do you know who is to be the executor of the Estate and if it’s potentially liable for IHT? They could be chased by HMRC if it is. They are playing a very dangerous game on two fronts.

@BorgQueen Yes they do have power of attorney. No executor since she is still alive

My exh fleeced his dm out of 40k. Nobody found out.

Funding for the care home may be funded by the NHS via a CHC assessment as many are so this may not be the case.

@honeyandfizz Then they are in a world of shit if they are .

If you think they are abusing their position as attorney(s) you can report your concerns with any evidence to the Office of the Public Guardian.

@LiverpoolLassie1974 What would happen if I did that? They're family...I want them to not steal from their aunt, but involving the authorities feels like Id be burning bridges big time. Im so shocked by it all, they are (normally!) lovely people!

If there is a will,
there will be at least one executor named. It could be someone unconnected like a Solicitor or unfortunately it could be one of them. Power of attorney ends immediately on death.
If you haven’t seen the will then there’s not much you can do on that front.

The OPG is worth a punt though, they should take action. Misusing PoA is a crime.
If the aunt is self funding the home/ council wont care until the money runs out - then they will most definitely care.

They're stealing her money and abusing their positions as power of attorney. Please report it https://www.gov.uk/report-concern-about-attorney-deputy-guardian
You might be able to report anonymously. I'm not sure but presumably if they're being that open with you, they will with other people too so it's not guaranteed to lead back to you.

Your complaint would be investigated, although to be fair I don't know how long the process would take. If there were enough evidence your "family" could be removed from their positions as attorneys and could be prosecuted. Having Power of Attorney is a huge responsibility but is open to abuse. You may not want to burn bridges but what they are doing is despicable, theft pure and simple from a vulnerable woman.

How much did the house sell for?

People stay in care homes for an average of two years, would the proceeds cover at least that?

agree with pp to report.
I have power of attorney for my mum and am careful to document all decisions that are made so there is full transparency should anyone question my decisions.

That's elder abuse, and they would be in a world of trouble if they were found out. I would be inclined to report them, it is wrong, so wrong, and "lovely" people wouldn't do that.