I did something deceitful- do I confess?

[Catladymids]

Morning

finances are tricky for us ( me and dh) at the moment. He was made redundant 18 months ago and wasn’t eligible for much of a payout. It took 6 months to get another job and during that time our existing debts increased.

His new job pays well and we’re getting back on track. We’ve been paying the debt aggressively but didn’t put anything into savings (stupidly).

3 months ago our car packed up. We ended up with a bill of £600. 2 weeks before payday. Dh very upset and stressed as he carries some misplaced guilt regarding the time he wasn’t working.

I made a snap decision and took a payday loan for £500. I got the car fixed and cleared the loan within 2 months. I didn’t tell dh and I assume he thought that I’d used a credit card etc ( not an option right now)

i’m Now feeling deceitful. Should I tell him what I did? We aren’t planning to apply for a new mortgage any time soon so Im not worried about it being in my credit report etc.

I thought I was problem solving but now I feel guilty

I don't really think you have done anything to feel guilty about. The loan is cleared, it's not exactly like you've fallen into debt over it. You did what you thought was right and with the best intentions. Generally I think these sort of decisions are best made together, but you can't unring a bell, so I’d just chalk it up to experience and keep him in the loop moving forward. No need to tell him limo.

Imo not limo!!

I don't know why you'd feel guilty, pay day loans have a bad reputation for when people need to use the them day to day living costs, but they are designed for one off emergencies like yours was.

It was affordable, you paid it off quickly, job done - of course you know it was abit of a white knuckle because it would only have taken one more thing to blow you over, but you knew that.

You could always have a chat with dh that you don't have a credit card, as he could be working on the assumption you have that safety net when you don't.

I agree that you did what you needed to do, why should you feel guilty? Its all resolved.

Now I would build an emergency fund, start with 50% of the aggressive debt repayments. Until you have £1k and then hit the debt.

It probably won't achieve anything to tell him and will only likely cause stress/upset.

The best course of action would probably to pull back a little on debt repayment until you have £1/2k in savings so you won't be in this position again.

If he didn’t ask how you did it, and you didn’t lie, then no need to say anything.

I don't think you did anything terrible, but I'd tell him because it's bothering you.

Tell him because it's in your mind but he's a dick is he makes an issue of it. You needed the money, you cleared it and presumably didn't pay. MASSES of extra money if it was cleared quickly. It would be the interest that would bother me, but you were in a hard place and you did it correctly - got it paid back.

But you are only in this position because of him. He's just left it all to you and you dealt with it in the best way you could. He didn't even ask any questions.

Do you regularly talk about money? It has a way of becoming a very fraught and difficult topic if you don’t normalise it.

Every week, I sit down to plan out my upcoming week, then check in with dh to sync up and we discuss upcoming expenses and other money matters. Sometimes it might just be comments about the cost of toilet paper since we last bought it, but these routine discussions about where our money is going keep the channels open for more serious discussions.