DS not paid rent

[Skone]

Just found out son is in arrears for 2 months rent. He is in last year in uni and been lying saying he has paid rent. Don't know what to do. He is in fragile mental state been seeing gp for anxiety. I don't know what to do. I can't pay all the arrears. He works part time and now I'm wondering what he's been doing with his money. Any advice? There are other issues but this one is the major worry.

My understanding is the payment proposal means that it can be paid in chunks. If thats the case then explain that to ds and not to worry as you can sort it out together.

At least he'll feel some of the burden taken off of his shoulders.
I'm wondering if its just a simple case of him mismanaging his finances maybe spending it on socialising etc?
I'd be inclined to ring the landlord direct to explain the situation. I would think that as long as the landlord realises there is an intention to pay then they'll happy to come to an arrangement rather than go to court which they won't want to do.
Hope that's helpful and you get it sorted. Dcs never stop being a worry so I sympathise. At least you can take some practical action. I'm still up as I'm worried about mine and don't know how to help except listen so please know that you're not the only one.

I’d say get your ds home and off the rental contract, agree to pay the arrears in the instalments (hopefully this is affordable) and get your ds some counselling through self referral through the gp surgery. Mind can also be very good. I would encourage him to get an appointment with the gp to see if meds are required. You can figure the rest out later.

@Skone thanks for that information. My concern is the other guarantor may just hide and do nothing. Landlord does not care who they get money from. I would not jump in straight away with a payment plan.

There will be a deposit. The Tenancy Deposit Schemes can’t use for rent arrears, but you can ask to release the deposit (or a proportion) to the Landlord (on basis there is some left and Landlord is not seeking to retain any for other issues).

I would call Shelter. They are absolutely fantastic on all housing issues.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice?gclid=Cj0KCQjw8NilBhDOARIsAHzpbLBg7QVPH9krhjHVtjm3swYM7IGlGISdl9m-6OlUwOIh806gE2-XVKAaAppNEALw_wcB

It is easy to say, but try not to panic. Good news he is out of the property. So the debt is not going to get larger and you are not worried about where he is going to live.

Lots of posters here shock and horrified that he’s not paid rent, questioning how it could happened. Lots of students get into debt/rent arrears. Not saying it’s ok, but it’s also not unusual - cost of living crisis will not have helped.

You say the liability between the guarantors is joint. You need to check whether this means shared equally/proportionally between the guarantors or if they'll just pursue you all until someone pays up.

Do you have legal cover on your house insurance or similar that you could use to get free advice?

Can you talk to the other guarantors? If you all agree to cover your own DCs arrears and pay them off or agree payment plans, it's probably a lot better than it going down the legal route with costs added.

Is there an outstanding deposit that can be used towards the unpaid rent?

From the debt perspective this doesn't seem like a huge deal. Set up a payment plan you can afford.

MH perspective seems more serious. But anger won't help. Try and get him to explain from where it started to get out of hand.

Sometimes you read a post and think “thank f*ck that my parents weren’t like that” and “I really hope this poster doesn’t have children”

and that’s what thought when I read @CombatBarbie post

Is your son living at home now? Is he still in the shared house?

Get a plan in place with the landlord because otherwise he's going to end up trying to start work with a CCJ dangling over his head.

OP why were you guarantor if you can't pay it?

Also indicates the LL’s due diligence was lacking

Not really, he has someone he can claim from. That's the beauty of it from their prospective.

I know from SDS London uni flat share we had to send 3 months worth of statements as his guarantor though.

Really, the son is a functioning adult, OK he has some MH but he's managed uni..... Just not managed to remember to pay his rent and has now landed his mum in the shit and possibly with a CCJ.....

I've got severe MH problems, doesn't mean I'll just not pay my mortgage.

Fact the son seems to be very illusive about the how's and whys makes me think he's being selfish and isn't arsed his mum has to pick up the pieces.

And the follow up just confirms my relief!

Fact the son seems to be very illusive about the how's and whys

thankfully no experience of mental health issues as you and the OP’s son are enduring @CombatBarbie but I’ll take a punt that the above is not entirely out of the realms of possibility as being a part of MH problems

My concern is

if he’s still living there oP

he’s just accruing more arrears

The Op says he hasn't said why, she's also said he completed uni and had a part time job....Mental Health isn't an excuse for bad choices as is always said on the other chats. He's happy to work for money but not pay his way.

I'll be interested to know how many students were in this house share as I'm pretty sure they won't be happy paying someone else's arrears if that's what the contract says.

What if op comes back and says he's blown it all clubbing, drinking, on a girl, gambling or whatever, does he still get a get out of free jail card because he has anxiety?

What if op comes back and says he's blown it all clubbing, drinking, on a girl, gambling or whatever, does he still get a get out of free jail card because he has anxiety?

Depends if completely out of character or not

do you have children?

When you say that you would hit the roof of this was your son

what would that actually look like out of interest?

Ignore the derailer.

You have two separate immediate problems.
The first is to insist he makes a GP appointment to discuss his MH. It's obvious he's gone past the self-help time.

The second is to find out if it's only your son who has defaulted or all of them. Then find out if you are only the guarantor for your son or the whole house. But definitely contact the LL to confirm you want to deal with the problem otherwise the LL will go the court route, and you might possibly end up with court costs on top.

Once the above have been started on then you need a frank and honest discussion with your son regarding any and all problems that have accumulated since being at Uni. You must be reeling right now

I said I'd be furious.

And yes I do have kids.... Do you?