A rant about companies that disempower SAHMs

[fruitful]

I've just phoned our credit card company to set up a direct debit payment so I don't have to post a cheque every month. But apparently I can't do it because I'm only the "additional card holder". DH is the main card holder so he's got to remember to do it in the milliseconds between when he gets in tonight and when they shut. Grrr. I am the additional cardholder because when we applied for the card, they'd only give me a measly credit limit because I don't earn anything. So we had to cancel the application and reapply in DH's name. We're married, we're a partnership - he goes off to earn the cash, I look after the kids and the home and our social lives and our finances and generally do all the really important stuff . Its our money. So why am I never allowed to do anything? I have to be the little wifey and get big strong clever salaried DH to phone the bank for me. Aaagh.

And the whole credit limit thing... Their systems have no place for two people in partnership do they? They think he earns the money and I don't have anything. . The only bunch who treat you as a couple are the tax office...

Come on, name and shame, which credit card company?

Worse - Student Loans Company. Won't let you self-certify that you're not working. Requires a LETTER from your DH to say I'm not working - like legally that's going to hold any more water in court?!!!!

They annoy me too. Have had calls recently from some companies trying to offer DH more credit and only wanting to speak to him, I am at the stage now that I tell them he is working abroad for the next 6 months and they will have to speak to me!!
I once tried to pay a credit card bill by switch but the automatic payment system wasn't working so was put through to someone in the call centre who wouldn't accept my payment as I was not the main card holder. Maybe they thought I was money laundering hmmm............

he he he - student loans company - I had to sign a letter to say dp was not working and that I was the main earner! Although thats no longer the case and maternity pay goes down this month :(

this annoys me soooo much too! I'm the 'additional cardholder' too on a few cards and it's me that writes the cheques, sets up direct debits etc. I phoned IKEA a few weeks ago to see what the balance owing on the card was so I could send them a cheque and due to 'data protection' blah blah blah they couldn't tell me. I wanted to GIVE them money and they still refused. So angry at the time I had DH phone them up immediately and he sorted it out. We're now down as 'joint' card holders.

But a big grrrrrrrr to other places that still do this - our water bill, council tax, elec and gas - I'm not the person who signed or set them up so they refuse to deal with my enquiries.

I think the answer to this one is to do like hana, and become a joint cardholder rather than an additional one. I don't think the additional cardholder thing is unreasonable, tbh - sometimes an additional cardholder may be a (grown up or late teenage) child who you want to be able to have access to the credit in an emergency, but don't want to be able to change set-up stuff like credit limits. There's a difference in status, and you just need to make sure you're joint, rather than additional.

I used to work for a bank, and am not trying to justify it (honest!!!), but it comes down to them having to work out the credit limit based on something - and that is usually the higher income earner. Re data protection - again, I know how frustrating it is, but you would not believe the scams that go on. Partners trying to clear out bank accounts before they leave, people phoning pretending to be someone else, false applications made, money laundering at an all time high. It really is a nightmare when you work on the other side and hear what goes on. I know trying to put money into an account seems innocuous enough, but that one of the most common ways to launder money. All banks are aware of it - and it breachs security. You have to be SO careful now, it's just scary.

I haven't heard of "joint card holder" before - I don't think my bank do it. I too look after all the family finances and find these sort of things really frustrating - when my purse was stolen last year I had to try to get hold of dh to phone the bank because they wouldn't cancel the credit card without his say-so.

Because I have a fairly deep voice, I sometimes pretend to be dh when talking on the phone to make things easier!

You don't even have to become a joint card holder. Just get your dh to authorise them to deal with you. I find it incredibly annoying that, although I have the mobile phone, I use it and I know what I want to do with it, because the bill is in dh's name, they always want to deal with him. Like he'd know what to do! So I got him to authorise them to deal with me and they get a purple earful from me if they still say they can't deal with me.

We've got DH to authorise me on another account before - it just annoys me that I have to! The credit card is with Sainsburys and they didn't suggest "joint card holder" when I made a fuss when we got the card, so perhaps they don't do it. I will forgive them though, because they aren't charging me any interest until Nov 05, so I'm making extra payments into my flexible mortgage instead of paying the credit card until then .

If somebody asked me for a letter from my husband to verify anything, they wouldn't a telephone to hear my response. Banks are notoriously sexist. Believe me you don't have to be a SAHM to get all worked up about this.

even worse

when I gave up work we went on DH's private healthcare

never used it till this year .. for a chiropracter

all communication comes addressed to DH and not to me because he's the primary policy holder through work

and what if it was something sensitive that I didn't want him to know about?

good job I open all his post isn't it

NAME AND SHAME: PPP ... they're bastards

Went on Eurotunnel this weekend. This lady offered me a free digital camera just for being sent a credit card - then she saw DD holding my hand and said "you can only have it if you earn your own money" I may be a SAHM but believe me I DO earn my money!

Not that it's any worse, but try explaining to a credit card company about joint income as a SAHD who, as Financial Director and Vice President (Domestic Logistics) of this little concern, should properly be the main cardholder. DW earns it and I spend it, keep account of it, pay all the bills, do her taxes etc etc. I agree that once it hits the bank account it's ours and woe betide anyone who questions my authority to deal with it (except of course DW)
Bear

H & Twiglett

another PPP rant for you. I used to have their healthcare coverage through work, in my name as Dr. Frogs, with Dh and the kids on it too.

I phoned them once to discuss getting a private eye test for dd1, and had a follow-up letter 2 days later: "Dear Dr. Frogs. Thank you for your wife's telephone call about your daughter's eyesight..."

I phoned them up to explain that I hadn't realised I had a wife, but you could tell they didn't get it.

Actually, if you're 'Dr' it is still commonplace for people to assume you must be a man. So I answer my work telephone number with "Hello, Jane Frogs speaking", and the reply will often be, "Please may I speak to Dr. Frogs?"

Grrrr

IM A SAHM, EVERYTHING IS IN DH NAME AS I CANNOT GET ANYTHING DUE TO BEING NON EXISTANT, INVISIBLE MEMBER OF SOCIETY! IT'S ACTUALLY ME THAT SPENDS MY DAYS SORTING OUT OUR FINANCES/PAYING BILLS, LEFT TO DH I DREAD TO THINK WHERE WE'D BE! HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT OUR FINANCES, HE GETS THE CREDIT CARDS, MAX'S THEM OUT THEN I PAY THE BILL!

frogs

according to DS all doctors are women and all nurses are men (methinks we might have gone over-the-top on feminist theory in this house )

I can kind of understand the credit card companies doing that - but i am having problems with ntl at the moment. Our broadband, phone and tv account are in DH name, so they will only deal with him, unless he writes a letter notifying them that i have the authority to use our account!!! Believe me, in this house i spend the most time on the phone, internet or watching t.v.!!!

Pabla

90% of my work emails are addressed to Mr Eefs - it doesn't bother me unless they ring me, hear a female voice and ask to speak to my boss, Mr Eefs. Love the silence when they realise their mistake.
I've had that problem with credit cards too - and I earn more than DP (who incidently is terrible with money).

LOL Twiglett - my dh had obv. told dd that a man would come to fix the broken street light outside our door. After a little re-education from me she now says "That light is broken Mummy, Man will come and fix it soon, or maybe a lady"

My credit card co recently upped my credit limit to 7,000. Had to smile as I've been SAHM for 18 months.
I am also deluged by loan applications etc from my bank - you'd think they would have noticed that I don't have a nice big paycheck any more

I too am an additional card holder and you think i can pay this and this i have the time nope. The f...ers don't want my money i guess

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. Means that DH has to do everything leaving me more time for other stuff. Only problem is that he keeps authorising me to deal with all the companies